


Future

by SandrC



Category: Mystery Skulls Animated
Genre: (spoiler: it can't), Angst? Angst., Arthur has some shit coping methods, Canon Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, I am the literal worst human being ever, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Multi, Phenominal Cosmic Powers!, Post-Hellbent, Suicide, Time Loop, Trauma, can magic replace a therapist?, click to find out!, get the boy some help blease, itty-bitty living space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-08-07 19:37:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 54,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16414622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SandrC/pseuds/SandrC
Summary: I'm worried 'bout the future and fuckin' with the past!(Or: it's not a fix-it if you break it more first.)(Alternately: A Dying Wish is a helluva drug.)





	1. In Which Arthur Falls to His Death Twice in One Chapter

**Author's Note:**

> I shouldn't be starting a new series but fuck it. I have it plotted so it's just a grind to write it lmao.
> 
> In case you don't know me from my works in the Adventure Zone, I'm a sucker for character pieces and time travel as a way to explore the consequences of our actions. I also subscribe to the geode method of writing: break your characters so they glitter. So be prepared for angst galore.
> 
> Much like Arthur (in popular fanon and inferred canon), I suffer from some heavy self-esteem issues and severe anxiety so...Mood m'boy...
> 
> My HC voicefeel for Arthur is based around my own anxiety/depression/suicidal tendencies. Vivi is based around my sisters J and Bloom (not real names, I wouldn't do them like that) who have an energy that I could never match. Lewis is more like my roommate Luca (also fake name) who is a very aggressive voice of reason with a temper. And Mystery is kinda more based on my experience with mindfulness techniques mixed with a being that has lived for far too long.
> 
> Eternity is forever, yeah, but like...imagine unliving all that time.
> 
> I'm gonna...do some not very nice things to our noodle-boy so heads up.
> 
> IDK if there'll be any sort of consistent update schedule because I'm a slobbering idiot but so long as my hyperfocused ass is interested, this won't die.
> 
> Hope this meets y'alls expectations.

The ghost grabbed Arthur by his shirt and hoisted him upward, high enough that his feet couldn't touch the floor of the Cave. Kicking like his life depended on it—it _did_ , if he knew this particular spirit—Arthur whimpered and tried to escape his captor. The ghost's fiery gaze narrowed and it floated forward until Arthur was dangling over the ledge of the Cave. Over where he last saw Lewis. Over his own, _very_ probable, death.

Arthur fought the broken machinery in his prosthetic and grabbed at the ghost's arm, the one that held him aloft, in an attempt to get it to let him go. As cold metal met with spectral form, a ripple of electricity tore through the ghost and revealed—

" _Lewis_?"

Oh god. _Oh god oh god oh god_. The ghost was _Lewis_. An angry, _vengeful_ , _very dead_ , Lewis.

A Lewis that Arthur probably _killed_.

And Lewis, skull set in grim malice, returned the favor.

* * *

It's amazing how long it takes to fall to your death. Time had no meaning in that void between alive and not and it was a punishment in and of itself, to fall for eternity with _fear_ of death but no _release_. The world was a blur of green and brown and purple and red and red and _red_ and _red and_ —

(He had time to ruminate on past events. The possession that was _so easy_ because of his own _pathetic_ feelings. Shoving Lewis off the cliff. The compulsion to follow him. Mystery—a fucking _demon fox_ for shit's sake—tearing the possession at the source and saving him. _Only_ him. _Not_ Lewis. And Vivi didn't remember so...the burden was _his_ and his _alone_.)

(Forgetting the details because his shitfuck brain decided that trauma wasn't worth it so that whole Cave? A blur of terror and pain and his arm is gone _good luck figuring that one out!_ And he can live with the sense that he's the reason Lewis left _but_ left isn't _dead_ and he didn't _kill_ him and the Peppers held a funeral after a month and he felt like he was gonna vomit but why would that bother him so much and the drum in his heart beat out guilty _guilty **guilty!**_ )

(He should've _jumped_ , even after Mystery saved him. Fucking _disgusting_. Bled out on the Cave floor. _Died_. _Anything_ to atone for his cowardice. For _his_ mistake.)

As guilt reared its ugly head, his fall ended with something horrifically soft. Despite the amount of give in his landing, Arthur had the air knocked clean out of him, leaving him wheezing on whatever surface he was on. Above him was a soft nothingness, a shroud around his face and body that carried a weight and warmth to it. Sweat soaked through his clothes and he scrabbled to sit up, heart hammering allegro in his ribs. He shucked off the thing over his face and threw it aside, too afraid to look at whatever had been smothering him.

Air flowed in and out of his lungs, chest clenched vice-like over his fear, a caged bird with talons and a razor beak. Sunlight filtered in through slatted blinds and cast soft green shadows across the carpeted floor beneath his feet. His feet dangled off a raised surface. A _bed_. _His_ bed.

 _Okay_. So falling to his death had been a _bad dream_. Since the hospital, those had been his constant companion. The nights Arthur _didn't_ sleep poorly, he worried. Casting a glance aside, he let a weak laugh slip when he realized the thing over his face had been his sheets. His sheets from his bed in his apartment at _home_.

Not on the road. Home. _Safe_.

Arthur wondered how he was gonna talk Vivi out of investigating that mansion she'd been talking about. After a nightmare like _that_? He wasn't taking any chances. _No siree_! Not _this_ coward!

Speaking of—as soon as his heart settled back in his chest, Arthur's phone alarm went off and scared the shit right back out of him. _Whoop_. There it goes. _All_ his shit. Out the _window_. The floor. _The fan_.

He leaned over the bed and reached for his phone, blinking sleepy (and possibly fear-induced) tears from his eyes, but froze mid-way through the action.

Left hand extended, Arthur should have seen the shiny metal of his prosthetic _but_ —

Pale, sweaty flesh covered in soft blonde hair with a black wristband on it. That arm was made of flesh.

" _Okay_ Arthur," he took a breath to steady himself and snagged his phone off the nightstand, "think about this _logically_. You have your arm back. You had a bad dream. Maybe they're one and the same?" Idly glancing down at his phone to silence it, Arthur squeaked in surprise. " _Or_ maybe this is more _Final Destination_ than _the Grudge_..." The date was wrong. Or maybe his _recollection_ of the date was wrong. Either way, it should be October of 2015.

It was currently October of 2012.

 _Three years_ too early.

* * *

Lewis Pepper rubbed sleep out of his eyes and blearily made his way to the coffee machine in the kitchen. The smell of a strong roast filled the air and he was pleasantly surprised to see Arthur already pouring a large mug for himself.

" _Morning_ Art!" Lewis raised one hand in greeting, moving to pour himself some morning elixir. His Sailor Senshi mug shifted colors as the warm brew settled in the bottom.

Arthur jumped almost a foot in the air and let out a sound similar to a strangled animal. He turned a shaky and hollow gaze to Lewis and returned his gesture with a sweaty right hand. "M- _morning_ Lewis! Glad to—to see you're _up_!"

"More of a morning person than you and Viv. If you're up early, you didn't sleep. At least there's coffee!" Lewis added a metric ton of sugar to his cup and stirred, attempting to supersaturate the drink. He took a deep drink of his now-sugary sludge and sighed, content. " _Dish_ , nerd."

"Wh-what?! Why would you assume I didn't sleep? I-I-I-I could be trying something _new_!" Arthur tried to hide the way his hands rattled and shook.

Lewis raised an eyebrow in skeptic disapproval. Arthur wilted under his gaze. He whined for a brief moment, then nodded, refusing to make eye contact. "Yeah, _okay_. I-I didn't sleep much... _some_ , sure! But not _much_..."

Arthur kept his head down and sipped at his black coffee, not making eye-contact. Lewis sighed. "I don't know _why_ you don't just talk to us. Viv and I won't hate you for something you can't control. It's not like you're going off and, _I dunno_ , murdering people while we rest, _right_?" He laughed and took a sip of his own coffee. Arthur paled substantially, heart catching and skipping a third.

"It-it's not that I don't _trust_ you...," Arthur started, the coffee in his hands sloshing with each anxious movement he made. ( _I don't_ , his traitorous brain supplied, wholly without his goddamn say-so.) "I just don't want you guys to—" ( _hate me because I'm not worth a damn_ ) "— _worry_. You and Vi already have the whole 'two adults in a consenting relationship' thing going on, never mind _Pepper Paradiso_ and _the Tome Tomb_. You don't need to babysit your-your _literal adult roommate_ while you're at it." He tried his best to keep the self-loathing out of his voice but—

Lewis stopped drinking and peered at Arthur. "You _sure_ you're okay?" He didn't miss how Arthur leaned away from him, nor did he miss the way he let his left hand lay at his side, limp.

( _Of course he notices. Why would you think he wouldn't notice?! He's your friend right now! You haven't killed him yet! He doesn't know he should be afraid of you. Hate you. Want to kill you._ )

( _He cares too much. Loves you too much._ )

( _Less than Vivi, though. You're just second-best. Second-best for both of them. Never good enough._ )

" _Yeah_ ," Arthur rolled his head in a weak imitation of nonchalant embarrassment, neck cracking, "I'm fine. Just need some more bean juice in me and I'll be ready to tear through today's problems."

Lewis didn't seem convinced.

(He doesn't know. _Won't_ know. _Lucky little Lewis_ , to get to forget the feeling of dying. He'll _never_ know. Never _ever_ , if Arthur has a say in things.)

( _Fuck fuck fuck fuck._ )

"If you _say_ so," he sipped at his coffee again. The creaking sound of a door opening signified Vivi getting up, Mystery padding in behind her. She placed a kiss on Lewis's head and Arthur's as well, stepping by them both to get herself coffee. "Morning Vi."

" _Morning_!" She yawned, jaw cracking, "how's my favorite boys?" Her coffee was mostly cream with no sugar, her mug a jack-o-lantern with a crooked smile.

"Art didn't sleep much."

Arthur jolted upward and shot Lewis a scandalized look. " _Snitch_!"

Lewis laughed into his drink, "sleep more _or_ talk to us about your issues and I won't _have_ to snitch."

Arthur laughed, genuine, and shook his head. Vivi just snorted. "I leave you alone for _five minutes_ and you're already tattling on each other. Such loyalty can't be bought!" Mystery curled up at her feet as she sat down with the two of them at their dining room table. Arthur allowed himself a moment of relief, just a second to breathe, before he bit back down on bitter fear.

" _Anyway_...what's the plan? For today? I mean."

Vivi ran her hands through her hair. "Well Duet wants me to run a few more stocking and shelving instances before we head out. They say that Chloe isn't the best at keeping _the Tomb_ organized and I'm inclined to believe them." She took a long drink of coffee. "So a nine to five for me, with lunch, then I'm good to go check that place out! The premise is interesting and the pay is nice too."

( _You won't ever escape that place. It cycles right back again, time and time again. You'll always be there, always lose him, always hurt hurt hurt._ )

( _Even if they deserve better, you earned this._ )

" _Lew_?" Arthur heard his voice crack but he pretended it was nothing. No one else seemed to notice anyway. It didn't matter.

"Mama and Papa want me to help prep the long courses for the weekend since Belle doesn't do mincing too well and they won't let Cayenne near knives. Then maybe trimming some meat—same reasons—and grinding up some of the herbs and spices for easy use. Papa doesn't like the peppers anyway and onions always make him cry. So after that I'm free to pack up! _You_?" Lewis gestured to Arthur, who blinked rapidly.

"I, _uh_ , mostly just, _um_ , making sure Lance has Galahad's food and so on, put the final touches on a car for a customer who wants a mod Lance isn't sure about, and then just a tune up on the van." That's what he did last time, _right_? _All_ of it? _Fuck_. "Maybe tinker around with this prosthetic blueprint I'm noodling round with. I don't know."

( _Don't look them in the eyes. Don't let them see that you're lying. Don't let them see the fear, the sleeplessness. Don't let them see the truth._ )

( _Lie to them. It's better._ )

"Seems solid enough! I know she'll run perfectly! You always do _the best_ on that kinda thing, Arty." Arthur tried to not visibly flinch as Vivi slugged her coffee back and slammed her mug back down on the table. " _Well_! Time to face the music!"

"Tell Duet I have some of the baklava they like!"

" _Will do!_ " Before Vivi could walk off though, Arthur sat forward and grabbed her hand. She stiffened and stared at him. " _Hm_?"

"Can you—I know that Duet usually doesn't bother much with pets and all but... _can_...d'you mind if Mystery stays with me? I wanna...test some of Galahad's things to make sure they're durable _and_..." Arthur fumbled for words. Thankfully—or _not_ —Vivi was _far_ more observant than many people take her for. She just laughed and nudged the dog in the ribs with her feet.

" _Take him._ More than likely, he'll just try and chase Chloe around the shop again. Duet _tolerates_ him, they won't object to him not being there." Vivi laughed again and patted Arthur's hand. "If you wanna borrow him, just ask. Just coz he's _my_ dog doesn't mean I won't _share_ , goofus."

Arthur smiled back, weak and pathetic. He pulled his hand back and gripped his other arm reflexively. " _Thanks_ Vi."

"Don't sweat it Arty! Now lemme go get my people-face on before my undead look scares off customers!" She ruffled Arthur's hair, smooched Lewis's forehead, and wandered to the bathroom with a cheeky finger-waggle of a wave.

Despite his trepidation, Arthur was sad to see Lewis go to work. The bit of his brain that seemed to never shut the fuck up screamed and railed against his silence but it was easier to shut up than speak out.

When it was just him and Mystery, Arthur started doing dishes, reflexively pulling a rubber glove over his left hand only. He barely seemed alive as he rinsed food off of plates and started a sinkful of soapy water. When he slipped the tableware in to soak, he let out a long breath.

"It's _funny_ , really. _I mean_ , not this whole _situation_ I'm in or anything. That's _some_ bullshit, but like...more _broad_ than that? Wider scope, _yanno_?" Arthur shrugged and shucked off the glove, suddenly aware of how silly one glove on fleshy hands is. Tossing it aside, he continued, " _Ghosts_? Sure. I'll buy that. Someone wants to kill me? _Fine_. _Amnesia_? Okay. _Time travel_??? Sure, _that_ I can take. But like...the thing that just _floors_ me is this: how the _fuck_ did we never notice you weren't a dog?"

Mystery stiffened, fur bristling. Still, he kept up pretenses.

Arthur continued, "you've been in Vivi's family longer than anyone can remember. That's _wild_. Dogs don't live for like a _hundred_ years. And also consider that dogs don't need glasses. Jokes about contacts and good insurance aside, Gramma Yukino probably knew but like...with everything _Vivi's_ into I'm kinda not sure how she missed it. I mean, I'm not the _most_ aware person in the world and Lewis wouldn't know what a ghost was until someone pointed it out or it possessed him or something, but _still_." He gritted his teeth, "a kitsune is a hard one to miss."

One tail unfolded into six and his nubby muzzle lengthened into a vulpine form. " _How_ —?" He snarled. Arthur shrank in on himself and seemingly went boneless against the counter.

" _Honestly_? You wouldn't believe me." Arthur laughed, an unkind paradiddle, dry and rattling. " _I_ barely believe me."

" _Try me_ ," Mystery urged.

Arthur drew back, right hand gripping left arm, eyes trained on the kitsune's fangs. Sweat beaded across his forehead and he swallowed heavily. "How's _time travel_ sound?"

Mystery fell back on his haunches and tilted his head. Unconsciously he let out a soft whine of confusion. "I...don't know enough about that kind of magic to even—" he cut himself off and shook his head, "—who's to say I _believe_ you?!"

Arthur swallowed visibly. " _Fair_. But consider I'm _not_ lying? What then? Do ancient fox spirits have protocol for time paradoxes?" A crooked grin, a plea for normalcy, a weak chuckle.

Mystery bit the bait. A growl-like laugh escaped him and slowly slid into broken squeaky-toy territory. "Not really." He sat back down and compressed into his dog-form. "So what then?"

" _I dunno_...I was just trying to make sense of it all."

"Rubber duck me."

Arthur laughed, face falling soon after. "Okay so...I'm from about three or so _years_ from now? So in the Cave, the one we're gonna check soon? There's a... _demon_ I think? Some... _thing_...but like, it took over me. Easy target, I guess," Mystery grimaced but Arthur soldiered on, "and I-I... _pushed_ Lewis. Off-off a cliff overlooking a field of fucking stalagmites _that_...and _he_..." Arthur shook violently, arms wrapped around himself.

Mystery suddenly understood part of why Arthur asked for him to stay. He snuggled against Arthur and sighed, hoping to incite a similar response.

( _Why the fuck are you telling him this? Do you expect he'll forgive you?! Care?! He fucking tore your goddamn arm off! What are you on?!_ )

"Vivi saw but like... _forgot_? Maybe _Lewis_ made her. You took my arm off and the shock just... _censored_ the whole event. The demon wiggled off and we just... _tried to live?_ I-I didn't know _why_ I felt the way I did but I _had_ to find Lewis. Vi...didn't remember a _thing_ about him and you wouldn't talk so _we_... _and_..." He shook harder, hiccuping violently. Mystery sighed again and Arthur did the same, looking more relaxed. "There was this _mansion_ and the ghost inside _hated_ me. I didn't _know_ but we ran and it chased us and ran us off the road. It _was_...it was _Lewis_. He _died_ and he was so-so _mad_ and like, I don't _blame_ him but like—! He-he _killed_ me and then I woke up here, _now_ , confused." Arthur sagged and sighed, sniffling. "Talking to _you_ about time travel."

Mystery rolled this information around in his mouth. Some of it could easily be written off as a nightmare but—

You couldn't fake that kind of trauma. Arthur was broken and didn't have time to heal. No, he was telling the truth.

"What do you plan to do here, in the past?"

"I...didn't think you'd _believe_ me."

"Humor me."

"I mean... _fix things_? Obviously. _Maybe_ keep that shit from going down in the Cave? Save Lewis _for sure._ Keep Vivi happy and alive. Aside from _that_?" He shrugged. "Flying by my pants."

Mystery frowned. "You said there's a demon?"

"I _think_?" Arthur's voice was slowing, anxiety seeping out as time continued. "It _possessed_ me, anyway. Said the seal was weak coz we walked in but it needed a vessel. Told me my jealousy made me perfect. Told me killing Lewis would make me happy. Better. When I _wouldn't_ , it did it _for_ me. You snatched it out of me before I could do much more..."

"And you're _certain_ that it's trapped there until we enter?"

" _Pretty_ sure, yeah..."

Mystery's tail whipped back and forth in a decidedly not-dog manner. " _Hm_...that's... _concerning_..."

"I just...do you think we could _not_?! Like, not go _at all?!_ " Hysteria crept back in, taking over the calm allegretto of his breathing. "I _don't_ —there _has_ to be a better way! That's why I'm _here_ , isn't it?!"

" _Calm down_ , Arthur. We'll figure it out. Whether stopping this trip in its entirety or just changing the outcome, something new _will_ occur." Mystery slapped his paw on Arthur's head, startling him enough to stop his panic in its tracks.

"And if we _don't_?"

"We _will_. I'm _sure_ of it."

* * *

_Of course_ Vivi couldn't be dissuaded from checking out the Cave. _Of course_ Arthur couldn't convince her that _maybe_ it was too strong for their investigative crew to check out. _Of course_ Mystery, still holding the guise of a simple dog, couldn't stop them.

 _Of course_ he couldn't let events happen the same.

( _I don't care if this time I die. Lewis won't. Vivi won't. I'm gonna fix this. I'm gonna make sure they're all okay._ )

When they entered the Cave, Mystery met Arthur's eyes and nodded. He could feel the malevolent entity whirl around them but, so long as Mystery was near, the thing wouldn't touch them. It was only when they came to the fork in the trail that Arthur's panic kicked into high gear.

"Art, why don't you and I check the upper path while Vi and Mystery do the lower?" Lewis suggested.

( _No. No no no no no fuck no._ )

"H-how about me 'n Viv check out the top and you and Mystery hang out below instead? I have to... _um_...ask her something anyway."

( _Weak argument, Arthur Kingsman. Pathetic. No one would believe that._ )

Lewis nodded and Mystery let out a warning yip. "Fair. _C'mon_ Mystery! Let's go explore!"

The green mist began to coalesce as they ascended, Arthur behind Vivi, eyes wide and heart racing.

"What did you wanna talk about anyway?" Vivi asked, craning her neck to look at the stalactites above them. "That didn't have to do with _Lewis_ , that is?"

"Um, well, his... _birthday_ is coming up...," ( _like she'll believe that_ ) "what do you wanna do then?"

The familiar numbness of possession gripped his left arm and he shuddered. **_Oh_** , a sickening sibilant voice cooed, **_this one is just perfect, aren't you?_**

_Fuck off. Not this time._

**_This time?_ ** The entity hummed in thought, cold creeping farther across his face. _**I suppose that's why you feel like a worn-in shoe. Possession must be old hat for you, with your bright and tattered soul.**_

 _Whatever you want, it doesn't involve them._ Arthur fought for control as Vivi set to peer over the Edge. _Anything else. Anything!_

 _ **You're accommodating for a host. First one I've had negotiate for others.** _ It chuckled. _**Pity I need their blood to escape.**_

Arthur fought to speak, to warn Vivi of the danger she was in. All he could manage was a soft gurgling noise, the entity having possessed deep within and then without.

**_Three sacrifices to break the seal and then I'll waltz out of here in whatever body I like best. Yours seems appropriate, considering. Do you think she'll feel it, when the spikes push through her?_ **

_No! Not her!_ He watched himself step forward, jerkily like a broken marionette, aware of what was happening but unable to stop it. He gurgled again.

 _ **Your guilt is so delicious, you know. What you have to feel guilty of? Not sure, but a meal this good shan't be overlooked. Thank you for this wonderful opportunity. Now go ahead and push her.** _ It snickered, _**like you have a choice.**_

" _Vi_!" Arthur managed to gasp out, defying the entity's hold on him. Vivi turned to look just as his body lunged forward and her adjustment was just enough. Arthur plunged off the cliff, towards the spikes below.

Behind Vivi, who screamed in fear, Arthur caught a glimpse of a terrified Mystery, all six tails whipping about. He smiled softly. _That's much better._

 ** _Oh, but you think you're so smart, don't you, mister clever-clogs?!_ ** Arthur felt the entity shift and writhe inside of him. It started to panic. **_Let me go!_**

 _No, I don't think so_. Arthur exhaled and reveled in the feeling of falling to his death again. _If I go, you're coming with me. That's how possession works, asshole. What's mine is yours._

 _And besides,_ he closed his eyes _, I think I did much better this time_. The ground rushed up to meet him.

* * *

Arthur woke up, with a start, in a soft, warm bed.


	2. In Which Things Break Really, Really Bad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You, you, you give me that body high.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'alls response to the first chapter was so so good. Like...it really helped me blunder through this chapter with gusto! Every new review was just like!!!!!!! Yanno?
> 
> I'm so excited and so glad you like it! Time travel is my baby. My favorite. The best.
> 
> Just so you know, not every chapter will begin the same way and not every attempt at convincing Mystery will go the same way. As you may have figured out, the loop begins the day before the Cave expedition and ends when poor Artie just fucking beefs it.
> 
> And I'd like to say that I struggled with the worry that Arthur was a little OOC with how he handles this loop but like...as someone who has anxiety and depression and hates letting people down, he's really good at pretending everything is hunky-dory. Also fuck OOC for characters whose whole personality has been established through silent action and character sheets. It ain't like I'm making him an asshole or anything!
> 
> Hope I continue to please. And get reviews. They're good for me soul.

Arthur threw things. Anything that wasn't attached to a wall or the floor was hucked halfway across his room with a pained howl. " _Fuck_!" He kicked a few more things and cursed again "God _dammit_!" Rage spent, he collapsed and curled in on himself. Arthur pulled his arms over his head and sobbed, shaking with terror and grief. "God- _fucking_ -dammit..."

( _See? See?! Nothing you do matters! Nothing you do will ever matter! Even dying is pointless. Why bother?_ )

" _So_ close!" Arthur moaned, rocking back and forth. Tears tracked down his face and he fought for breath against his chest. On his nightstand, his phone went off, alarm blaring. He bit back a sob. "So _goddamn_ close..."

( _You can't ever be happy, Arthur. Now you know for sure. Nothing will ever be okay. Just accept it_.)

" _Okay_ Arthur," he slowly let out a shaky breath. " _Regroup_. Back again, before that bullshit. Do it _again_. Do it _better_. _Don't_ fucking _die_ this time." He stood up and started picking up his room. "I sure hope no one heard this. The walls aren't _thin_ but I should watch my temper."

Place tidied up, Arthur took a few more deep breaths and squared his shoulders. "Coffee, Mystery, _whatever_ else. _That's_ the plan."

( _Good fucking luck_.)

* * *

Lewis walked into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. His Sailor Senshi mug changed colors with the heat as he upended a sugar bowl into it, stirring gently. Arthur raised a hand to him in a silent greeting, his own brew steaming gently. Lewis sat down and locked eyes with Arthur, taking note of the dark bags under his eyes. " _You're_ up early?"

"Nightmare," Arthur replied. He wasn't going to try and waffle here. More important places to use his skills at bullshitting. "Coffee is better than the alternative, in _my_ opinion."

" _Alternative_?" Lewis didn't press the nightmare issue, _thank fuck_ , but Arthur's shit wording caught his attention.

"Bad habit of rubber-banding. It's not _terrible_ in the grand scheme of things but it's not _great_. Bruises are a bitch and the underlying muscle damage kinda fucked my wrists in high-school."

( _Don't make eye contact. Don't meet his eyes. He's so fucking disappointed in you. You promised you'd stopped that shit. Not that you did it recently, but you promised. He cried so hard. They both did._ )

"I remember that. 'S the reason you took up wearing those wristbands, _right_?" Oh, thank _fuck_. He wasn't pressing the issue. Bless the based gods.

" _Yep_." Arthur popped the plosive, following it up with more coffee. Lewis mirrored him.

An awkward silence ensued, Lewis and Arthur just imbibing the best of energy supplements, and it broke when Arthur's stomach complained. Pink raced across his face and he found the opalescent sheen on the surface of his bean juice _super_ interesting. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"If I knew you were hungry, I would've _made_ something! You have the juice of the sun gods ready, lemme whip something up!" Lewis stood up and dusted his hands off, making a move for the sink. "Any requests, Art?"

"Pancakes?" Arthur fought back the simpering remainder of the entity that hissed a nasty reminder in his head.

( _You don't deserve to eat his food again. You're a monster. A murderer. Disgusting. Vile_.)

" _Nice_. _Any_ type or can I just make something edible and _not_ covered in shellfish for once?" Sleeves pushed up and hands washed, Lewis shot Arthur a sly smirk.

"The Surf's Up pizza is delicious! This is slander and I will _not_ stand for it!" If he could tamp down on this voice by just engaging with his friend, then so be it. He'd fucking engage like a _boss_!

"Blueberry then? Thataway Vi has something to soak up the coffee-flavored milk she loves so much." Arthur stifled a snicker as Lewis pulled out some fresh blueberries and greased a pan with leftover bacon fat.

" _Be careful_ ," Arthur warned, "she might kick your ass if she hears that. You know Vi prays daily to the caffeine gods. They'll smite you where you stand."

"I'd like to see them try. _My_ god is the god of sick gains! Caffeine gods can _eat me_!"

"A _fine_ dish, mister Pepper."

Lewis laughed again.

By the time that Vivi woke up and wandered into the kitchen, Lewis was covered in pancake batter—Arthur's fault—and laughing bodily. Arthur, on the other hand, was chowing down on a syrup-steeped pancake like he was going to die. Mystery sniffled and his tail started wagging when the smell of food finally hit him.

"Good _god_!" Vivi placed her hands on her hips, cocked to one side, and clucked derisively. "I wake up to a war zone. How _dare_ you?"

"We have an offering of pancakes, if this will please you." Lewis held up a plate of buttered fresh pancakes up like he was placating a goddess.

Vivi peered over her spectacles and sniffed. Drool pooled at the corners of her mouth and she swallowed heavily. "This is a fine offering. _It pleases me!_ " She snatched it from Lewis's grasp and sat down next to Arthur, a mug of milky coffee already prepared. Three inhuman mouthfuls later, she finally let her guard down enough for Arthur to broach his least favorite subject.

"Plans before the trip?"

" _Oh_ , the same as it always is. Nine to five at _the Tomb_ coz Chloe can't be trusted with stocking. Duet'll give me a week off if I prep for Halloween's sale. Then I'm golden." Vivi inhaled another pancake.

"Lew?" Arthur asked.

"Prepping meals. Papa doesn't do spicy and Belle and Cayenne can't be trusted with knives. Mama may also want me to candy some of the ghost peppers too. Then I'm good as ever." Lewis nibbled on his own pancake. "You?"

" _Ehh_ ," Arthur waggled his hand in a so-so motion. "Lance has a mod he needs me to finish—something about the technical aspect of this dude's midlife crisis car gives him the willies. Or, as he said, 'Sets my skin crawling somthin' awful'.' He averted his gaze downward, becoming engrossed in his food. "Then probably set shit up for Galahad while I'm gone. Maybe draft some blueprints for an idea I have. _I dunno_..."

They slipped into comfortable silence, eating quietly. Or, in Vivi's case, eating sloppily and trying to talk around a mouthful of pancakes. In the middle of her rant about the difference between a ghoul and a zombie, Arthur had an idea.

" _Hey_ , uh, Vi?" She locked eyes with him and made a muffled noise of acknowledgement. "Mind if I take Mystery for a walk real quick? Autumn air and all???" He hoped to fuck she bought his bullshit. _Please, Vivi, don't ask questions._

"Sure," she shrugged. "Just don't forget the shit-bag. Pooper-scooper laws and so on."

Mystery gave her a dry look and huffed. Arthur just nodded. "I'll be back in twenty." He clipped the retractable leash onto Mystery's collar and started for the front, slipping on his sneakers and a jacket he stole from Lewis. "C'mon Myst'ry. Let's go get some air."

The two walked a few good moments until Arthur was certain they were a good distance from the apartment. Sure of this fact, Arthur stopped what he was doing and plopped down on the ground. "Y'know? I don't know how to go about having this conversation a second time? Like, do I try the same as before: call you out, take your ire, maybe convince you? Or do I try something more interesting like Groundhog Day-ing events and shit?"

Mystery sat down and cocked his head at Arthur. He let out a concerned whine.

" _Man_ , don't look at me like that! What am I supposed to say to y'all? 'Oh, hey, I'm from an alternate future where shit goes real bad in that cave we're gonna visit soon? Don't and also our dog is a kitsune?' Save for you, I don't think anything would stick. And _you're_ not keen on letting people know what you are anyway. Hence me taking you out to the public where you can't hulk out on me." Mystery shot Arthur a narrow glare and he weakly laughed. "Bite my arm off later, Myst'ry. I'm having a _really_ bad week."

 _ **And what**_ , Mystery's voice permeated Arthur's mind like a worm, _**do you expect me to do? How did you get this information?!**_

" _Time_. _Travel_. I've died twice now. It sucks _ass_ , Mystery. Zero outta ten, don't recommend." He tried to not let Mystery see how much he _hated_ having a voice in his head.

 ** _So you isolate me and confront me?_ ** He growled.

" _Buddy_ , if you can come to me with a reasonable way to break this shit to Lew and Vi without a freakout, lemme know." Arthur stood up and snagged Mystery's leash again. "'Nyway, let's get back before they ask questions."

 ** _No extra information for me? Nothing to try and convince me it's not some ploy to hurt Vivi and the others?_** Ever duitiful, Mystery trotted behind Arthur.

"Believe me or don't, I'll eat shit either way. What matters is that _this_ one is gonna stick. Vivi and Lewis are gonna _live_. They're gonna be _happy_. That _fucking thing_ in the Cave is gonna be _gone_ and _no one's_ gonna die. For _real_ this time." He gripped the plastic handle of Mystery's leash tight enough that his knuckles went white. His teeth were grit, ambitions bared.

Mystery's ears flattened. **_Don't lose yourself to the cause. You're loved too, Arthur._**

( _At least he's not chomping on your arm. You're good there_.)

"They _need_ me. They need _this_. _I_ need this." Arthur repeated, seemingly unaware of Mystery's warning. "That thing _isn't_ getting them this time. I'm gonna make _sure_ of it."

* * *

Mystery sat up and flicked his ears forward, listening for something out of place. Silence. _Too much_ silence. Where was—?

"Artie?" Vivi asked. She had sat up and was rubbing sleep from her eyes. " _Mmm_ where are you?"

Mystery placed his paw on her chest and urged her with his magic. **_Sleep. It's all fine. Just sleep._**

Flickers of red and white rolled over her body and she leaned back, eyelids falling down. She fell back in bed and clutched her turtle plushie like her life depended on it. Breathing in a slow, soft pattern, she drifted off again and Mystery let out his held breath.

Certain that she was out for the count, the not-dog padded out of her room and into the living area. The residual auras of his kits lingered on every surface, blue and magenta and gold, so it made it hard to trace the newer leftovers. Nose up, he sniffed, trying to find the most recent iteration of Arthur. Fractal fragments of golden aura dotted from Arthur's bedroom to the front door.

 ** _Arthur you idiot_**. Mystery bristled in frustration, tail whipping, irritated. **_I hope you haven't done something you regret._**

The front door creaked open and a battered and dusty Arthur staggered in, moving jerkily from side to side. He locked the door behind him and tossed his keys in the bowl on the end table. Then he let out a bone-weary sigh and ran his hands through his hair.

" _Why_ were you out so late?" Mystery watched as Arthur jumped in his skin and whipped about to stare at him. "Vivi worried. Lewis too, I'd assume."

" _I—_ " Arthur exhaled, eyes darting from side to side, "thought I'd look into exorcism. For the thing in the Cave."

Gold sputtered around him like sparklers, leaving afterimages in his moving limbs' wakes. Mystery narrowed his eyes, squinting through his half-moon spectacles. "At _this late_ at night?"

"The Witching Hour, _right_?" He chuckled weakly. Mystery remained unimpressed. Eventually he broke, giving Mystery a quick pat on the head. "Fine, _fine_. I'll be more careful. Won't go around at ass-o-clock pm any more."

Satisfied, Mystery trotted back to Vivi's room and closed the door behind him. All his kits are home. All of them are safe.

It's three am and all is well.

* * *

Vivi was disappointed with the Cave. Empty, _not_ haunted, and boring as all get-out. At the fork in the path, Mystery and Arthur went to the lower one while Vivi and Lewis took the higher. While alone, Mystery took a moment to talk to Arthur about what he had said on their walk.

"Swung by earlier and gave it a good Catholic farewell," Arthur smiled at Mystery, gesturing with one hand to the cavern that surrounded them. "Turns out that demon I was so spooked by was a _big_ ol' _pushover_! Imagine."

Mystery stared at Arthur, confused. "You performed an _exorcism_?"

"Got the idea from a book Vivi had on hand. Something Duet had squirreled away from time in Australia. Gave me step-by-step instructions and pictures to boot!" He smiled again, looking about at the stalagmites on the ground and the cliff high above them. "This place is super ugly though. Glad to be rid of it."

Staring upward at Vivi and Lewis examining the upper floor, Mystery rolled the thought of demon and entity and exorcised in his head. Then he spoke again, "What now?"

Arthur turned to Mystery, teeth bared in a wide, manic grin, "I'll just live my life!"

One day later and they were still alive.

Why did it feel so wrong then?

* * *

The first hint was with Lance.

"You can't _do_ shit like that!"

Lewis had swung by _Kingsman's Auto Repair_ with a take-out box of tiramisu, looking for Arthur. All he had found was an empty shop and the sound of Lance tearing into someone verbally.

"Why?" _Oh_. That was _Arthur_ he was yelling at. _Huh_... "He deserved it."

" _First off_ : that man was a paying customer. Second: he's a _human_ fucking _being_! You don't fucking _beat_ on people for _no_ goddamn reason!" Lewis could hear Lance thumping a large finger against Arthur's chest.

"He insulted you _and_ this shop! If _anything_ , I shouldn't've _stopped_. I don't know _why_ you're blowing this out of proportion Lance!" Arthur sounded oddly nonchalant. Even without visuals, Lewis could imagine him leaning against a wall, arms crossed, face impassively bored.

"The EMT had to come get him. That's enough. _More_ than enough!" Lance exhaled and Lewis could imagine him turning from Arthur, not mad but disappointed. "You're _suspended_. Don't come in to work tomorrow."

" _Fine_." And the sound of shoes grew louder. Lewis scrabbled about to try and not look like he was listening in on their argument. When he saw Lewis with a takeout box, he grinned. Lewis tried to not focus on the blood on his knuckles or the dirt in his hair. "For _me_? Mister Pepper, you spoil me _rotten_!"

Lewis laughed, uncomfortable for a nanosecond. "Tiramisu. Some _pendejo_ threw a fit about it not being warm so we had like three orders of it that we couldn't sell. Cayenne, Bell, and Paprika had one, Mama and Papa had one, and I grabbed the last." He shrugged, "waste not, want not."

"A good philosophy. And a good dessert." Arthur nodded. "Mind if I grab some Quik before we dig in?"

"Yeah, no. Go ahead. I'll snag some plasticware and a place to sit." As Arthur walked off, he wondered about the argument he heard. Arthur wasn't a violent person naturally but...

Customer service will do that to a man.

* * *

The second hint was with Lewis.

"Your knives are _sharp_ right?" Lewis stared at Arthur, who was looking at him wide-eyed. He tilted his head to the knife block again and asked, "the ones in the block are sharp, yeah? Serrated or not, they've gotta be to cut right."

"I mean, _yeah_? They're sharp. Otherwise I might fuck up my hands. Not a good look, a chef missing a finger or two." Lewis washed his paring knife and slotted it back in the block, watching Arthur intently. "Why?" His eyes never left the knives, though his left hand rapped out a somewhat-familiar pattern on the table.

" _Curiosity_ , mostly! I never really thought about it before, sharp knives and the difference between dull ones and the cuts from both. I'm sure a dull knife is more dangerous coz of the inability to slice all the way?" Arthur's hand continued to drum on the table as he talked. Three quick, three slow, three quick, then repeat. "Sever a finger with a sharp knife and it'll do the job quickly, a dull knife might catch and tear instead, yeah?"

Lewis swallowed heavily. He didn't like the implications Arthur was tossing around. Not since high school. He'd gotten over it, hadn't he? Therapy and he and Vivi helped. Mystery could keep a nose out, the good boy he was. But still. "I'm not sure I like what you're saying?"

Almost like he became aware of both his hand and Lewis, Arthur sat up straight and waved dismissively. "Sorry, wasn't meaning it _that_ way, Lew. Just thinking out loud. You and I both know I've been taking my meds. Just... _curiosity_ , really." The crooked quirk to his smile said otherwise but, why would Lewis worry? This was his friend! He needed to trust him.

"Just be careful saying shit like that around Vivi. She'll have a heart attack and then kill _both_ of us." Lewis tried to sound dismissive but...

"She can _damn_ well try."

Something was wrong and he couldn't figure out what it was.

* * *

The third and final clue was with Mystery. Or, more importantly, was Mystery.

It was about five in the afternoon when sirens flew by _Pepper Paradiso_ , lights flashing bright. Lewis rubbernecked the cars, watching them pass with concern and curiosity. Then, as one does, he got back to work. Bussing tables wasn't glamorous but it was good, and Mama and Papa were happy with his tableside manners. It wasn't until Vivi bolted in, Mystery on her (metaphorical) tail, that Lewis became concerned.

" _Vi_?" He barely had time to speak before Vivi grabbed him by the wrist and yanked him towards the door.

"Sorry, but we don't have time!" She pulled him harder, his shoulder protesting. "Arthur's in trouble."

"I don't—?" Lewis began but he was cut off.

"Arthur is currently possessed," a second voice, deeper, unknown, pointed out.

Lewis blinked, took quick stock of the people near him, and then took stock again. Him, Vivi, and Mystery. Wasn't him. Wasn't Vivi. So—?

Muzzle set in grim determination, Mystery shook his head, "I should've _noticed_. I should've _felt_ the difference. It was _there_ , the whole time, just _piggybacking_ on his aura. Green spectral flecks of something that was _decidedly not him_ and I didn't notice!"

 _Oh_. Talking dog. _Okay_.

" _Wh—_?"

" _Look_ , we can sling blame later. Now is a time for action!" Vivi cut off Lewis again, having let go of his wrist to hop in the van. He didn't even have the peace of mind to keep her from driving. He just buckled up and stared at Mystery.

Mystery, for all it was worth, looked very sheepish. He wouldn't meet Lewis's eyes and his tail was tucked down. "Left here," he directed. "His trail tapers off in a few miles."

" _Miles_?" Now he could speak. With Vivi focused on driving and... _yeah_ , okay, Mystery _could_ talk but he wasn't getting talked over so! "Anyone want to catch me up?!"

"The cave," Vivi said, as if that cleared up anything. Lewis turned to Mystery.

"There was a demon there, trapped by a seal we would have weakened had we entered. Arthur is currently being possessed by it. I don't understand _why_ he did that though! He told me he had exorcised it!" Lewis was suddenly very aware of the amount of times he had baby-talked Mystery and given him tummy-rubs. It was almost embarrassing to think he had doted on a sentient being—whatever kind of being Mystery really was. " _Stupid_. He'd been off all week."

" _Okay_? Something more recent? Like why we're driving like a bat outta hell towards a bunch of cops?" He wouldn't consider himself the voice of reason but this was patently ridiculous. "I'll take talking dogs for one hundred at a later date."

"Whatever is puppeting Arthur is taking his body on a destructive joy ride through town. The cops have already been called for one such event—an encounter that the demon absconded from after taking a few stabs at his opponent—but he's fled since then." Mystery tapped a paw on Vivi's shoulder, "right here. Then a left. Then it goes off-road for a moment. I think I can get a lock on the area but it's vague. _Anyway_ ," he continued, "we're going to apprehend the demon—"

"Kick it's ass _right out_ of Artie and then _fuck it up_ even more!"

"—and _yes_. _Kill it_ , preferably. At _least_ trap it."

Lewis stewed for a few moments.

"He's heading for _Kingsman's_."

"Fuck _off_!" Vivi yanked the wheel and pulled a sharp U-turn. "I hope Lance is okay..."

"He can handle himself," Mystery said. "And this thing may want to just get our attention. It's being _very_ obvious."

"Getting our attention?" Lewis let go of the 'oh-shit' handle and went back to white-knuckling his pants.

"If Arthur knew, _it_ knows. We came to the Cave. We know what it is. It may just want us in one place." Mystery shrugged— _??!!—_ and nodded his head at Vivi. "It's stopped. It _definitely_ wants us there."

"Knew?"

"We can infodump later. Arthur has the cops on his ass; this thing may get him shot."

The neon lights of _Kingsman's_ sign illuminated the front of their van and Vivi drifted to a screaming halt. "Let's fucking _go_ , guys."

Popping the door open, Lewis looked at the storefront and frowned. "'S quiet..."

"It knows we're here," Mystery bristled. "This may be _unpleasant_ , apologies." There was the smell of fire and wood smoke and where Vivi's dog had been was a large, six-tailed beast. It—Mystery—snarled at the door. " _Come out_ , demon!"

"Oh thank _fuck_ , I don't have to _pretend_ any more!" The voice was Arthur's, the tone was not. "It was a _drag_ , trying to play the idiot coward." The front door opened up and Arthur strolled out. Or, rather, Arthur that was possessed by a demon. The demon wearing Arthur as a meat-suit? _Logistics_.

"Give him _back_!" Vivi was brandishing a baseball bat— _where the fuck_ had she gotten that?!—at not-Arthur. Tears gathered in her eyes but she seemed resolute.

" _Ohh_ ," not-Arthur sighed, mock upset, "but I _can't_. See," it gestured with one of Arthur's hands at its chest, "if I _leave_ , I get punted back into the shitfuck cave you found me in. And I really _really_ like how mortals have done up the world so far. You've all gotten fat, resting on your laurels."

"Then be prepared to taste stainless steel, shitdick!"

"Vi, _wait_!" Lewis grabbed her arm and stopped her from cracking not-Arthur across the dome. "That's still _Arthur's_ body."

She pulled back and glared at not-Arthur, who smirked and lazily leaned against the doorframe. " _Fuck_."

"True, but I think Arthur would prefer the hospital to _this_." Mystery sneered at not-Arthur.

" _Counterpoint_ ," not-Arthur noted, "you lot let me crack you open and I walk away and leave this schlub's body for you for _keepsies_!"

Lewis looked back at him. Not-Arthur's eyes gleamed a sickly green. His mouth was set in a crooked grin. His posture was nonchalant. His hands had blood on them.

" _Look_! I need three sacrifices—or _that_ one," not-Arthur pointed at Mystery, "to not head right back to the cave. Then I'll leave behind this nervous wreck and you can keep _whatever_ remains! And considering how you missed _every_ fucking clue he managed to slip you, I think you're getting off easy!"

"Clue?" _Oh god. Please be joking. Fuck._

"The rapping? That was Morse. _Save Our Souls,_ Lewis. He wanted to be noticed _so_ bad." The demon smirked and jokingly knocked the pattern against the wall. Three quick, three slow, three quick. "But a quick visit to Dr. Knife put an end to that nonsense. Tried to get a sketch customer who was certainly packing heat to deck him. That ended poorly too. This one is _mine_ and I _won't_ have any bullshit."

 _Oh_. Fuck. Shit. _Fuck_!

"But _anyway_ , take your potshots now! He might actually shut up for once." At their horrified stares, not-Arthur grinned. "Yeah, he can see and hear and feel _everything_ that's going on. He's been _crying_ for me to spare the lot of you since I moved in. A super inconsiderate neighbor, if I'm being honest, but the building super is an asshole."

"Shit," Vivi gasped, her bat slipping from her grasp.

"Would you like to hear what he has to say on the matter? Because he has a _lot_ of opinions." Not-Arthur's face fell a bit and he started crying uncontrollably.

"Please... _kill me_...it isn't worth it...just _do_ it, Mystery..."

Lewis was going to vomit.

Arthur was swallowed back by the smug visage of the demon. It giggled. "He  _really_ trusts you, fox. Interesting, isn't it? Out of _all_ of you, Vivienne is the only he's not _terrified_ of but he wants the fox to kill him. He trusts those teeth," it noted, " _despite_ all that fear."

"Don't call me that," Vivi snapped.

Mystery stiffened, " _he's_...that tracks."

"So the deal is this: either the three of you _or_ the fox dies to free me or I murder everything he loves and make him my permanent home. Your pick." It buffed Arthur's nails against his best with a disinterested sigh.

Mystery stood, frozen, tails writhing as he tried his hardest to weigh his options. Vivi shook with fear, sobbing quietly. Lewis clenched his fists so tight his nails cut through skin. Not-Arthur waggled his finger like a metronome pendulum.

"Tick-tock, kiddos. You're running out of time!"

"How about door number three?" A shot rang out and not-Arthur wheezed. Then it fell over, face first into a puddle of Arthur's blood, buckshot holes in his back as well. Lance stood behind him, nose bloodied, eye blacked, and face pained. In his hands was a smoking pump-action.

Vivi _screamed_.

* * *

Arthur woke up, with a start, in a soft bed.


	3. In Which Arthur Tries Something Different

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm makin' changes onto my life. Just rearrangin', thinking I need to make shit work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know that feeling you get when you're writing and it doesn't sound right but you know you won't finish it if you don't stop?
> 
> Yeah, this chapter was that for me.
> 
> I continue to be concerned with voice but a lot of this one isn't in Arthur's head so...
> 
> Worries worries worries, says my hellbrain. Fuck off, says I.
> 
> As always, lemme know what you think! You've been doing a hella fine job so far, as this has the 2nd highest review count of anything I've written, but regardless. I feel y'all deserve recognition.
> 
> Warning for some unsavory shit from last loop being rehashed. Also vomiting. Lots of it. And undue graphic violence, as always.

Head pushed in the bowl of the toilet, Arthur emptied his stomach of whatever he had eaten the night before. Eyes blurred with tears, he continued to heave long after his stomach was without food, silvery mucus and green bile being all that passed his lips. Then he sat there, back to the toilet, the bitter burning taste of sour sorrow his only grounding sense.

_I can't—not that again—_

He had gone to exorcise the entity—demon—from the Cave. He had _failed_ to exorcise the demon from the Cave. Instead, like every nightmare that Arthur had suffered from since the original event, it took control of _all_ of him. Once the possession was complete, the green faded from his skin and eyes and it assumed his place in his life with all the desire to kill his best friends to finally be free of the binding that kept it chained to the Cave.

It had been _sickeningly easy_ for the thing to take him over. Slipped in the moment he crossed past the seal. Like an old friend. A hand-me-down jacket. Easy to fill in, easier to use and throw away. And it took his mannerisms and his patterns and fooled everyone until it felt bored enough to cause waves.

 _ **Oh I won't rock the boat just yet,**_ it sneered as Arthur screamed and raged against its hold. ** _I need your idiot friends to believe I'm you just long enough for me to slip a dagger where it needs to be._**

_Not them. Not them. Not them!_

It laughed at his insistence. **_Darling Arthur, it has to be them. They set foot in the cave, they're tied to the seal. I have to take them! Although,_** it tapped his finger against his chin, **_the fox alone would suffice. It certainly has the tails for it. Six lovely lives for me to shear off of it, one by one._**

There had been moments when Arthur had control and tried to die to stop this thing but it always failed. The customer that Arthur had been working with, the one Lance didn't like, was part of a local gang. He packed heat. So Arthur swung first hoping that if he caught the demon off-guard, he could get the man to shoot him. But the demon caught on and bludgeoned the man half to death before Lance yanked him away.

_**Nice try, boy. Not this time.** _

When it started asking about knives he hoped Lewis would be worried enough to focus on him, on his mannerisms. That worked but it seemed preoccupied enough with its twisted pre-revenge fantasy to notice he was rapping out a message. _S.O.S._

Lewis didn't notice but the demon caught on and one visit to the kitchen late at night netted the word _FAILURE_ carved into his chest and taken care of just enough to make the healing process painful, but not lethal.

Then the cops. A joyride. The demon knifed a man and stole his bike and ran. It was time to kill the lot of them, while the guilt was fresh in their minds. While they underestimated what this demon would and could do.

 ** _The more potent the emotion,_ ** it explained as it beat Lance unconscious, **_the more power it gives off. For the same reason that ghosts have an Anchor, we demons feed on what would become that Anchor. And besides,_ ** it laughed as the van screaned to a halt in the parking lot, **_it's more fun when they cry._**

The gun was a surprise. He hadn't expected Lance to shoot him. Maybe he could've egged Mystery on, or gotten Vivi to crack him upside the head with her bat, but Lance had caught even the demon off-guard. And as the life faded from Arthur, it screamed as it was ripped to shreds.

The worst part was being a prisoner in his own skin. Murdered. _Murderer_. He thought he had gotten over it but—

 _Not_ this time. Not _this_ time.

 _This time_ the fucking Cave would _stay_ sealed. The demon would stay weak and unaware. The deaths would _stop_.

Once his body stopped being wracked with violent tremors that a younger Arthur might had considered seizures, he gulped in air like a drowning man and formulated. Planned. Plotted.

Not Mystery this time. That was a dead-end. While he would believe him if only based on his knowledge of the truth, Mystery wouldn't act for fear of revealing the selfsame secret.

Not Lewis either. Despite all the steps forward, there was still a large part of Arthur that was scared of Lewis and what he had/would/could become. What he had/would/could do. The life he had/would/could take.

 _Man_ , time travel fucked your tenses, didn't it?

Vivi was his only hope. Not his _first_ choice—third, if time was to be believed—but a _valid_ one. As the team sci-fi nerd, she'd be more likely than Lewis to believe time travel. And as team supernatural nerd, she'd be more likely to believe him when he talked about the Cave and the demon. As team mom, she'd listen if he said he wasn't feeling great, if she could see it on his face.

It was after that that the plan got _muddier_. More...pants-based and less logically plotted out, which meant that bullshit could be both bull _and_ shit. And things could go wrong. _Would_ go wrong. It was how his terrible luck worked. Murphy's Law and so on.

Letting out a sigh that was both beleaguered and relieved, Arthur ran a hand through his hair and steeled himself. _Forward_. Move _forward_.

Coffee, breakfast, Vivi.

_One more time._

* * *

Vivi had the _distinct_ joy of walking in to her boys chatting happily, coffee, and breakfast. Arthur—because while Lewis was a sweetheart, only her Artie remembered the right ratio of soy milk to coffee she loved—had her jack-o-lantern mug set out next to a large stack of blueberry pancakes. Steam rose off of everything and Arthur already had managed to get syrup tangled in his goatee. Letting out a soft laugh at his antics and the way that Lewis kept arguing that _no_ , _Sailor Mercury wouldn't have done that, why would you say such a thing_ , Vivi dug in. After horking down three flapjacks and appreciating the way coffee paired so well with the sweet and tart pancakes, she looked up to Arthur staring intently at her, a hollow way about him.

She swallowed heavily, "you alright Artie?"

As if he just noticed that she noticed, Arthur sat up more and grinned. It wasn't convincing. He tried anyway. " _Yeah_! Didn't sleep great, as I'm wont to, but otherwise fine."

He was lying.

She wasn't gonna push the matter _just yet._

"Any plans for later, before we head out?" She speared a piece of pancake on her fork and chowed down. Her gaze never left Arthur, searching for a reason to grill him about his feelings and state of mind and so on.

Lewis shook his head, "Mama and Papa need me to prep before I go but other then that, I'm free." He gnawed on a slightly burnt pancake for a moment before continuing, "could drop by with lunch if you don't mind? Special today is... _unique_ and the combination of seafood and _je nes sais quoi_ seems right up your respective alleys."

Arthur stuck his tongue out at Lewis, who tapped his chin to indicate 'you've got a little something...'. Sheepishly, Arthur tried to scrub the syrup free with a paper napkin to no avail.

Vivi snorted as he got up to rinse out his goatee. "Same old same old for me. Apparently this place we're checking out is _hella_ haunted so be prepared for maximum spook!" She wiggled her fingers in a spooky manner and rolled her eyes. Then she drank more coffee before turning her attention to Arthur, "what of you, Kingsman? Any special plans or is it the same thing every day?"

With a completely unconvincing grin, Arthur shrugged. "Lance has something he wants me to double check before we go but then it's making sure Gallahad is okay and maybe a tuneup before we hit the trail. The, _um_ , cave is pretty far, isn't it?"

"I mean, _kinda_."

"It's a thirty minute drive _without_ traffic," Lewis added helpfully.

"Then we'd better make sure she's ready to go, _yeah_?" His hands shook slightly as he sipped his own black coffee.

Again, the morning blurred into background noise but there was a small part of Vivi that didn't want to settle. It screamed, again and again, that something was wrong. To _pay attention_. To _look_ and _listen_.

It was, _supposedly_ , to her benefit that Arthur approached her before they all scattered to the four winds for work. _Less_ so that he looked so lost and confused.

"Vi?" Vivi had been in the middle of making sure she had her backup emergency snacks in her purse when Arthur came by to get her attention.

" _Hm_?" He stood there, silent for what felt like an eternity before he managed to sort through his own thoughts enough to speak.

"I...can you _humor_ me for a second? Just one, _okay_?"

Vivi raised an eyebrow in confusion but nodded. "Sure?"

"I'm gonna...I'm gonna say some things and I need you to like...suspend disbelief for until I'm done. Just-just don't interrupt or anything. I don't-I don't think I'd be able to finish if I have to stop?" He took a shuddering breath and closed his eyes. Vivi's heart caught in her throat.

"Go on, Art."

"We—we _can't_ go to that cave. And-and here's why," Arthur clenched his hands into tight fists, white knuckles and pink palms, "Lewis dies in that cave. I'm-I'm possessed and I _push_ him and then I lose my arm and he's _dead_ and I'm hurt and you _don't remember_. Coz I'm from about three and some years from now and I've done this thing a few times and it _never_ ends well."

Vivi wanted to say something but suspension of disbelief. Suspension of disbelief.

She remained quiet.

"The demon in there kills all of us. Or me. Or just Lewis and we leave and are hurting and can't remember. Only Lewis is dead and a ghost but we don't know and he thinks I did it _on purpose_. And a year later we find him but we don't know and _he_ doesn't know we don't know and he's _so angry_." Arthur started shaking but he couldn't stop. If he stopped, he'd never finish.

Suspension of disbelief kept her mouth shut.

"Or I go in there alone and it comes out with me, _as_ me, and no one knows until it's too late. So, Vi, we _can't_ go. If we go, we _die_. If we _don't_ go, we can live on coz Lew dies at 21 and we get older and he doesn't and he's so _angry_ and dead and it's _my fault_ kinda sorta but not!" He's crying, big gobbet tears right out of a Ghibli film and Vivi feels this surge of protection rise in her. She moves to wrap her arms around him as he continues, " _we can't go,_ Vi. If we don't go, no one can die. If we stay, we live. I can't lose you again. None of you. I _can't_ —!"

" _Shh_ ," Vivi rubbed his back and hummed low to get him to calm down. "Okay. We won't go. I'll call out and Duet can _eat_ me coz my next shift is tomorrow. We can cuddle and watch a good movie and eat popcorn with caramel drizzle and order a pizza. We don't have to if you say so."

Suspension of disbelief be _damned_ , he was hurting enough, anyone could see. Even if he wasn't from the future—alternate or otherwise—whatever had Arthur scared enough to break down like this was real enough for her.

"I'll get Lew to cater and we'll have a day in. Just _breathe_. We're not gonna go." She continued to rub his back and murmur in his hair. "You're gonna be safe, Artie. Don't you worry."

Sniffling, Arthur looked up at her and his hollow hollow eyes looked so hopeful that she wanted to find the demon in that cave and rip it to shreds. "You... _believe_ me?"

"Why wouldn't I?" _If it scares you this bad, what kind of friend would I be if I didn't?_

" _I'unno_..." he nestled his head in her shoulder and shuddered.

"Then there ya go." Vivi kissed the top of his head and smiled. "Now what movie do you wanna watch?"

They were her boys, both of them, and she'd kill for them. But for now, cuddling would work. As would good food and some sleep.

Everything would be _okay_.

* * *

 _It shouldn't've been that easy._ Arthur's brain kept reminding him. _You got off scot-free. You know it won't last. Beware the future. It'll come back to get you. Don't rest. Don't relax._

_You won't ever escape pain like this._

Still, three weeks after the day they should have visited the cave, everything was normal. Vivi was doing part-time at the _Tomb_ while she looked for new cases to hop on, Lewis was still working at _Pepper Paradiso_ while _also_ babysitting his sisters, and Arthur was working with Lance at _Kingsman's_. Even if Arthur kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, even if he kept a close eye on Mystery and Lewis, even if he listened for that little voice of dissent that screamed sometimes loud enough to shock him into fits, Arthur felt like it was better.

Like he was free.

Like he could finally live.

Like this was the best possible end for the four of them.

Regardless of his anxiety's thoughts on the matter—( _you won't be free that easily Arthur. We both know that. Why bother?_ )—Arthur felt more at ease than he had in a long, long time. He could breathe at last and it was a blessing. Normalcy was a thing he could indulge in, prosthetic plans aside.

So when Vivi came up with a job involving a cult and a demon and a child three towns over, why would he say no? Everything was fine. Everything was good! Everything was okay.

* * *

Everything was _not_ okay.

Never mind the ropes digging into his arms, keeping him bound to the chair before the so-called 'throne of terror'. Never mind the fact that somewhere in the basement below him was a small collection of terrified children, half-starved and neglected beyond belief. Never mind the knowledge that Vivi and Lewis and Mystery were clobbering idiot cultists left and right to get to and free him. Never mind all that.

No, what _really_ was getting Arthur's goat was the fact that it had been going _so well_. Before all this, before getting fucking _kidnapped_ for shit's sake, they'd been doing _so_ _good_! But then Arthur's anxiety had to ramp up enough that he made a little too much noise and chucklefucks numbers one through five caught, bound, and prepped him for torture or bloodletting or some third horrific thing. And he was powerless once more, literal hands tied, and he couldn't do fuckall.

( _See? You can't ever win._ )

One of the cultists—a tall fuck in a red robe with a bad Halloween mask on—said something muffled through his mask and Arthur raised an eyebrow at him. " _Huh_?"

After all he'd been through, didn't Arthur _deserve_ a little time as the asshole in the situation?

The cultist repeated what he said, just as muffled as before, with more grandiose gestures.

Arthur wiggled a bit. "Look, if _I_ can't hear you, then whatever demon-god-what have you you're working for _def_ can't. I'm right here and your _whateverthefuck_ is a few planes of existence over. You _may_ want to enunciate. And project." He looked at the assembled fucks in red robes and bad masks. " _At least_ one of you is a theater kid. Put more _oomf_ into it!"

A mutter of dissent rippled through the red robed cultists. The one holding the knife in front of Arthur hollered something through his mask. It was, of course, inaudible. Arthur stifled bitter laughter. Angry, the dude with the knife turned back to him and gestured with the knife, shouting something muffled.

"Nope. Still nothing. Try taking the mask off, Meyers. _Then_ give it a go." The cultist stomped his foot and shouted again. Still muffled. Arthur didn't say anything else. Partially because he was waiting for another turn at egging the dude on to waste time.

 _Mostly_ because the cultist, in his tantrum, had ripped the dagger across his throat, so he kinda _couldn't_ say anything.

_Oh. Okay. That's how this one is gonna play out? Fine. Okay. Fuck you too._

The cultist stiffened and gestured for one of his friends to grab the ceremonial bowl for blood gathering. Even muffled, his words were definitely swears, worried and confused.

A dry smile crept over Arthur's face and he tried to laugh. Tried being the operative word, as he just sputtered pistol shots of red and wet and life. The cultists around him started removing their masks and yelling at each other, slinging accusations as stones in a glass house. In the corner of his eye, Arthur saw Mystery—sans Vivi and Lewis—skid to a halt in the room's entrance. The not-dog looked, horrified, as blood pooled around Arthur's feet, gushing from his neck.

( _You won't ever escape, Kingsman. This is worse than before. The Cave is preferred here, isn't it?_ )

 _Nah_ , Arthur thought as feeling dribbled out of his body with his blood, _I like this one more than the last. The Cave aside, I think not going is the way to go._

And his heart beat out a final note where no one could hear.

It was a small comfort.

* * *

Arthur woke up, with a start, in a soft bed.


	4. In Which Arthur Seeks Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erase me. Erase my mind again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a roll. And by that, I mean, I've got absolutely no chill whatsoever and y'all love me for it.
> 
> Um, warning here for some...suicide stuff. Past and present. Self harm too.
> 
> I wanted to give Lance some more time with an Arthur before I started hitting hard again (not that this isn't hitting hard, per se, but semantics and all).
> 
> The universe is being very very unkind to Arthur. And by universe, I mean me. I am being unkind to Arthur. If it's any consolation, the next one is much lighter than the last two. Three. Last three.
> 
> Y'alls reviews are the literal fire in my engine. Congrats all. You're enablers. Thanks so much.

Better than before, worse than others.

As Arthur slapped his phone and turned off the alarm, he ran through all the shit he fucked up in that attempt. He didn't say anything to Mystery, who _could have_ helped him. He didn't think anything could hurt him after the Cave, which was _wrong_. He thought he had escaped death.

Wrong _wrong **wrong**._

_The Cave is not the issue. Happiness is, isn't it? They have to be happy. They all do, right?!_

Regardless, avoiding the Cave didn't help, it just delayed the inevitable.

Something had to give.

But what?

But _what_?

* * *

Lance Kinsgman rubbed sleep from his eyes as the sounds of tinkering woke him from his post-sleep-morning-nap. _Someone_ , it seemed, was busy at work in the garage and, if Lance knew his somebodies, it was Arthur.

With what can only be graciously described as a yawn—if you eliminate the concept of nasaly groaning and forget that it's an inward motion—wiggled free from his chest and drifted out into the ether. It gave him a bit of a fright, but not enough to deter him tramping down to see why the _actual human fuck_ his nephew was up at fuck you o'clock working on repairs and or a tuneup. As he pushed the garage door open, he was surprised to not hear any music. Usually Arthur had the radio going twenty four seven. Something about occupying his fore-brain with lyrics and beats so his back-brain could do actual work.

But here he was, in the wee hours of the morning, working on his and his friends' van's engine in complete silence.

Something was wrong.

"Art," Lance said as he entered the garage. Arthur started and slammed his head against the undercarriage, then swore softly. " _Shit_ , kid, didn't mean t'startle you."

"No, _no_. It's fine. I've been kinda jumpy anyway." Even with grease on his face and blood trickling from his nose, Lance could see the lie. His eyes were hollow, deep set as if he hadn't slept well. His mouth was a thin line, a lying smile. Lance raised one eyebrow.

"So what has y'up here this early, in silence, working on your van?" Lance sat down on a workbench and offered Arthur a handkerchief to wipe away the blood. " _Aside_ from insomnia."

Arthur looked immeasurably guilty. That brought Lance a tiny bit of pleasure, that he realized he wouldn't be able to lie to him. "Can't hide that from you, _can_ I?"

"Kid, you could be painted head-to-toe in oil and I'd _still_ be able to tell if you didn't sleep. S'a supernat'ral power a mine." He _hoped_ that his smile was sincere looking, that Arthur didn't feel attacked. He'd always been skittish but lately it's been worse. It didn't help that he wasn't sleeping.

" _Fair_." Arthur let the conversation trail off as he wiped both grease and blood from his face. Lance was afraid, for a moment, that he was going to have to press him farther, when he spoke up again. "H-hey Lance?"

" _Mm_?"

Arthur gripped his left arm with his right hand, almost nervously, and refused to meet Land's eyes. "Is-is it okay if I tell you something weird? Not like the subject is weird, even though it _is_ and all, but like...no one would believe me, I think, and I don't know who to turn to."

_Oh_. Oh boy. Parenting. _Yay_.

Lance nodded, not trusting his own voice to remain calm and collected. In response, Arthur smiled, genuine, _sad_.

"Okay so...I've...I've _done_ this day. A few times, actually. And each time, it goes bad. And each time I die. And I tell myself that _it's okay_ if I keep waking up here, same as before, and try again. _It's okay_ if I die coz I want them to be happy. _It's okay_ if I die because ends and means and they _have_ to be happy I don't matter as much. But—" he took a shuddering breath and Lance could see the tears building up, "—it _does_ matter because I wake up and no one remembers but me and, _Lance_?" The hollow look was back, full-stop, and Lance felt his chest sieze tight around the bird in his ribs because this was his Arthur. His boy. And he was hurting. "Lance, I know what falling to my death is like. I know what getting shot in the back is like. I know what getting my throat slit is like. And Lance, I can't keep doing this but I _have_ to because they _deserve_ better!"

_There_. The dam broke and he was crying openly. Lance moved forward and wrapped his arms around Arthur, holding him close. Making sure he knew he was loved.

While he didn't understand—how _could_ he? Whatever it was Arthur was on about was compete nonsense, time travel and all that—his boy was hurting and that wouldn't stand. He had already seen him like this, years ago, hollow eyes and thin wrists marred with red tally marks and white gauze. He had already helped him back away from the precipice before. One more time wouldn't hurt. It'd help the both of them. And this time it was before the pain became physical.

"Art," Lance muttered, clutching him tight like a lifeline, "Artie, you're _needed_. Your happiness and health come _first_. You _can't_ tear yourself apart like this. It's bad for you and _everyone_ you come in contact with."

Arthur shuddered and sobbed. "But I _can't_ let them live like this. _They_ die if I don't. I _need_ them to be happy. They _have_ to be happy."

"They _bullshit_. You need to think about yourself. Be _selfish_ for once. Fucking talk to someone who's _job_ it is to help. But don't tear yourself apart like this. You did it once before and you _can't_ this time. I don't—I don't think you'll make it. I can't handle that again." Lance let himself cry too. Ugly tears that muddied his cheeks and snot dribbled down his nose and it choked him up but crying is therapeutic, _yeah_?

"But what if—?"

" _Arthur Kingsman_ , for once in your life, be selfish. Go seek help, stay home, and _heal_."

They stayed there for a while, the two of them. Crying. Holding each other.

He hoped he made a difference.

He hoped, to god, it _helped_.

* * *

Arthur didn't leave his room for some time. Didn't answer his phone, didn't talk to anyone but Lance and his new therapist, and didn't leave unless he had to.

Grace, his new therapist, said he suffered from acute PTSD in addition to previously recognized anxiety, depression, and ADHD. She suggested mindfulness therapy and possibly some pharmaceuticals to assist in alleviating the worst of the symptoms. She changed his antidepressant and refilled his benzo. She scheduled another session in three weeks.

He was certain he wasn't going to live that long. Judging by how the cult happened, even if he refused to go to the Cave, he'd die somewhere else within the month. It only seemed right.

By avoiding everyone, he also kinda sorta got out of going to said Cave. _Presumably_ , he kept telling himself, they'd do better without him. No Arthur to get possessed. No Arthur to have to watch. No Arthur to kill Lewis.

_In three and out three. You are here. Do not worry. You are real. This is now._

So it was of little surprise when Mystery, tails fanned out and muzzle bloody, came barreling into his room like he was getting chased by the demon in the cave.

Arthur just looked up and waved. "Hey. What's up?" The sinking feeling that deepened with each breath didn't abate. Instead it intensified and he wanted to vomit. _Here. Now. Breathe. **Breathe**._

" _Arthur_!" Mystery howled, his fur bristled. "Arthur something has gone wrong!"

Arthur looked at his phone. One day after the event at the Cave. Yeah. That checks. "I'm sure. The demon, right?"

Mystery froze, stock-still, looking at Arthur in disbelief. " _How_ —?"

"You wouldn't believe me." _In. Out. You are here. You are now._

"Regardless! Arthur, a demon took hold of Lewis!" Oh. _Oh_! This hurt more than he thought it would. Even in the dull, emotionless haze he was in, Arthur's whole world was ending. "It possessed him and he shoved Vivi off a cliff overlooking a sea of stalagmites. She..." Mystery didn't even have the heart to finish his thought.

"Did you kill it?" His voice was so empty. So broken. So pointless.

"Pardon?" Mystery was looking him in his eyes, confused, worried. The fear that would have previously consumed Arthur upon looking at Mystery's true form was gone, a dull ache compared to the rest.

"The demon. Is it _gone_?" _God_ he was so hollow. Like all his feelings had leaked out his back. Not even the slightest urge to hurl. He was empty.

"Yes. I...it was bound to Lewis and—"

Arthur cut him off. "That's all I needed. Thanks Mystery." He stood up and grabbed his medicine, each and every bottle. "You can stay here if you need to, just shrink down so the neighbors don't complain. You aren't the quietest like this."

" _Arthur_! Don't you care?! Your friends are dead and you just...are _sitting_ there, calm, collected, and silent?!" Mystery tried to cut off Arthur's walk to the kitchen, his muzzle pulled back in a fierce snarl.

Arthur looked Mystery dead in the eyes and smiled. It was a smile only by facial region. Behind his smile was dead and empty and sorry and sorry and sorry. "Oh, I care. That's why I'm going to fix this." He rattled one of his bottles, "this is what I get for being selfish." He let out a dry bark of laughter. "I should at least put them to good use."

Confused, Mystery pulled back and watched as his remaining kit got a glass of water and took almost thirty separate pills. When he was done, Arthur walked to the couch and laid down, clutching his roommates' plushies in his arms. He started to sob.

"I'm gonna make this right. Don't worry, _okay_? It's gonna be okay Myst'ry. We're gonna be happy. _All_ of us. Don't worry. I'm gonna make everything better. Just _trust_ me."

* * *

Arthur woke up, with a start, in a soft bed.


	5. In Which History Repeats Itself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm hellbent baby! Hellbent on loving you all night long!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I. HAVE. NO. CHILL. AND. YOU. ARE. ENABLERS.
> 
> (Please don't stop reviewing. It's my bread and butter.)
> 
> I want to preface this chapter with this: the ending I have planned for this story is a happy one. The world I am building is hard and sharp and painful, but ultimately a good one. So while the angst is here for now, the end will be better. Happier.
> 
> So don't fret.
> 
> I should also mention that I can warn for things in the before-chapter notes. Just ask me to and I will. Until then, I'll warn for shit I feel needs it.
> 
> Warning: pretty bad language this time around, depersonalization and dissociation, and mentions of depression and anxiety.
> 
> This chapter is lighter but I warn because I care.
> 
> (The calm before the storm.)
> 
> Also: this fic, while Mystery Trio OT3, is kinda weirdly balanced because I see Lewis as panromantic heterosexual, Vivi as an ostentstious demi-bi, and Arthur as demi-ace. So, in fear of it seeming weird and unbalanced for an unspoken poly relationship in which one of the members is TOO FUCKING DENSE TO NOTICE HE'S A PART OF, that's what's up. Vivi is more openly affectionate. Lewis is more quiet and cuddling with small gestures to show he cares. Arthur is self-destructive and he's gonna FUCKING STOP THAT SHIT BEFORE IT GETS SERIOUS COZ THAT AIN'T HOW YOU BE IN A RELATIONSHIP KINGSMAN!

If Arthur had woken before afraid, confused, enraged, and ill, it was the piteous sorrow that made this particular waking the worst. Fear was yellow rind of citrus with bitter cocoa and sharp iron blood. Anger was electric snapping of cilantro and peppers and stabbing glass in places unneeded and unblooded. Confusion was sickening honey and sugar water, glittering oily inside his mouth. But _sorrow_? All-consuming oceans of horrific sadness. Lachrymose is an eldritch being that capsized the boat of hope. Sunshine. Love. _Everything_.

Sorrow was pitch and oil and savory meat with rot and maggots made sweet with necrosis.

Sorrow made him gag.

Arthur laid in bed and stared at the ceiling, chest rising and falling with even and monitored breathing. _In. Out. You are here_.

He should feel worse. He should be vomiting or screaming or crying or throwing things. He should be out and about, trying to make a change. He should feel _something_.

But he just felt _hollow_. Like that particular death scooped out his soul, his center, and carried it away. Set fire to it as a tallow candle and his emotions, his feelings went up in magenta/green/crimson flames. _Poof_. Like they meant nothing.

_In. Out. You are here._

Mystery this time. _Always_ Mystery. The Cave _has_ to occur. That's better than the unknown. He can handle pain. He can handle blood. He can handle trauma.

He _can't_ handle the unknown.

_Mystery_ , yes. _How_ this time? Confrontation works but...it makes the fox lazy. Unwilling to move. Conversation is good. Talk to him until he answers. Let him come forth. Make him promise.

Make him _understand_.

_In. Out. You are here._

Mystery and then preparations. Lewis can't die. He _can't_. So they go but Mystery keeps an eye on them. Mystery can take his arm when the demon tries to vie for control. Quickly, quietly, before he can strike. Before it can strike.

( _It's all the same, isn't it? Your body. Your hand. Your will or not, the killer is you_.)

_In. Out. You are here._

Recoup is _fine_. Pain is _fine_. The hospital is _fine_. He's got the plans for his prosthetic ready. All in his head. Just write them down and make them later. Skip all the nasty parts of living with only one hand. The nasty parts of living with phantom pains. Lance will worry. He'll understand though.

The greater good. The sum of the whole is greater than it's parts.

Arthur's just a part. A piece. A tool.

( _But it doesn't matter if you don't matter. Nothing matters in the end_.)

Mystery, the Cave, prosthetic, then normalcy. Lewis will be alive; that's a _guarantee_. Lewis will live. Vivi will live. He will live (maimed! but maimed is alive). Mystery will live.

They'll live. They'll be _happy_.

( _You won't, but that doesn't matter, does it? You don't matter, do you?_ )

_In. Out. You are here to make them happy._

A plan. Yes. He had a _plan_ now. Prep for the fallout, _then_ execute.

They'd hurt, but only for a _little_.

_He'd_ hurt, but only for a little.

_In. Out. You are here to make sure they live._

A plan. A will. A way.

His alarm went off.

With a smile, Arthur grabbed his phone, and set out to the kitchen.

_You are here to make everything perfect._

* * *

Mystery stared at Arthur, head cocked to the side. As if he could sense the animal's trepidation, Arthur continued on, nonchalantly, "I'm sure it's hard to believe but...there is something there, in that cave."

Mystery didn't respond. He didn't _want_ to. _Even if_ Arthur was to be believed, _even if_ Arthur was right, why would Mystery reveal himself? Whether through telepathy or auditory communucation, to speak would be to sign his death warrant. She would find him. She would find all three of his kits.

She would _kill_ all three of his kits.

"But I know you won't talk to me because _something something_ secrecy _something_. That's _fine_. I need you to promise me one thing," Arthur leaned in and gripped the sides of Mystery's face, " _promise_ me you'll come keep an eye on Lewis and me. There's a branch in the path and Lewis and I go upwards while you and Vi go down. That demon will find the lack of your protection enticing and _me_ a pretty good target. It will take ahold of me, starting with my left arm, and try and shove Lewis off the cliff. I'm going to fight it and I _need_ you to rip my arm off, the demon with it."

Arthur's gaze was steel, his golden soul flickering outward, a tattered banner shedding clumps. "Don't worry about the pain. Don't worry about _me_. Just rip that thing off and destroy it. _Kill it_. Maim it. _Don't_ let it go, Mystery. Don't."

Mystery swallowed. He couldn't find a trace of fear in Arthur's eyes. Only determination. A wall of immovable protection. He was afraid but—if his kit, his precious golden one, was so set—he would do it.

"Follow at a distance. Don't let it know you're there. Don't let it sense you. And when you see me stagger, _attack_." Arthur set his mouth, eyes glimmering. "Nod if you understand." Mystery nodded and Arthur let go, happier. " _Great_. Thanks Mystery! Now I can prepare."

He wanted to ask Arthur _how_ he knew this. He wanted to ask Arthur _why_ he was so set on this plan. He wanted to ask Arthur _what_ drove him to this extreme. He wanted to ask so much but he remained silent.

Arthur rubbed the top of Mystery's head and the kitsune leaned into his touch. The scattered electric feel of his aura rippled over Mystery's fur and he grit his teeth at the somehow unpleasant intensity of it.

Regardless of odd behaviour, this was still his kit, his golden one. _His_.

He'd play along, if only for Arthur's peace of mind.

* * *

Mystery felt the demon as soon as they drew close. Arthur, his golden kit who saw this before all others, was determined.

All his kits stood proud. Vivi glowed an excited blue, her mint rippling off in waves of cold _cool amazing_! Lewis was strong, wide, indomitable mole rosa that buffered and protected. Arthur was determined lemon rind of _now now now now_ that ripped from his body in unnatural jerks, lighting-like arcing from place to place.

And they walked in and the necrotic guava and banana of avaricious bloodlust overwhelmed his nose and he whined. Arthur reached down and patted Mystery and his lighting lemon cleared the air if only to let the desire seep back in like sweet-scented raw sewage. They reached a fork in the path and Lewis pointed him and Arthur upward. Arthur spared him one last glance before the four parted ways.

Two-by-two, Mystery could track the sickening sweetness of the demon as it coalesced around Arthur and followed the two upwards. Looking back, he left a double behind Vivi and padded behind the others in silence.

Arthur had been right so far and he didn't disappoint. The overripe smell of _want want want_ ate up Arthur's bright _pride concern fear recognition_. Lewis peered over the edge of a cliff that overlooked a sea of stalagmites, warm _interest cool pride love_ wafting off.

Arthur staggered and jerked. _Now_.

Leaping forward, Mystery let his form free and slammed his jaws shut around Arthur's left arm. A disgusting taste of _wrong wrong wrong wrong_ bled into metallic blood and Arthur's _relief thanks pain thank you so much_ but his sharp teeth and sharp magic sequestered the demon to only Arthur's left arm and tore. It wasn't clean, but it worked.

It didn't _have_ to be clean.

Separated from its host, the demon screamed and wailed. Pled with Mystery. But he'd have none of it.

**_Spare me!_** It begged.

**_I think the fuck not_** , was Mystery's wry reply. And he shook the demon to shreds and incinerated the remains with foxfire. Then he turned eyes on Arthur and Lewis and Vivi, who heard the screaming and ran to help. They were staring at him and all but Arthur were horrified.

Sharp barbs of minty _why why what the fuck you hurt him you why_ intermingled with burrs and walls of spicy sweet _hurt hurt hurt him and he why why what is that thing?!_

What kept him there was the ever-present calm current of brilliant _it's okay you did what I asked for this is best for everyone_. The bright shocks of _talk to them they won't hate you if you explain just talk._ The vibrant tang of _God I think I'm going to bleed out._

"We can talk _later_ ," Mystery finally said, speaking to his kits for the first time ever. "Let me help Arthur first."

Foxfire circled his paw. Vivi moved to keep him away from Arthur but his precious golden kit held out his remaining hand and croaked out, " _let him_. I promise this'll all make sense but if he doesn't seal this up, I'm gonna bleed out before I get to the hospital."

Mystery watched as his magenta and cyan kits bristled but stepped down, letting him near Arthur. With foxfire, he seared the wound shut and collapsed back into his dog-form. "Now let's get him to the van. He needs medical care."

* * *

Lewis was having an existential crisis. Never mind the fact that he almost _died_ because of a _demon_ of all things. Never mind the fact that _Arthur_ had _almost died_ to stop said demon. Never mind the fact that they were currently sitting in the waiting room of the ICU, listening for any scrap of information on Arthur's status.

_Nope_. That's _totally_ okay in the face of the fact that Vivi's dog—not _their_ dog, not right now—was a hundred-some-odd years old fox spirit! That Vivi's _fucking_ dog had been part of the Yukino family for _about_ a century and no one thought that was odd. That Vivi's _goddamn_ dog was capable of human speech and thought and also could do magic but preferred to remain a dog to avoid suspicion or someshit.

_That's_ what was fucked.

Lewis looked around the waiting room and sighed heavily. Lance looked like he hadn't slept for the entire time he had been there. That was likely. Vivi, despite all her anxiety on the matter, was currently outside with Mystery, who couldn't come in the hospital because dog. Or, as it were, not-dog. And Lewis? Well...he was... _alive_. He supposed.

He wasn't doing great.

That's _fine_ though. Arthur would come first. He was injured. _Then_ they'd deal with his own problems. When Arthur was healed.

Mystery was... _concerning_. Kitsune is what Vivi called him and Lewis wouldn't debate her. She knew her stuff. Kitsune could create illusions, small balls of foxfire that could beguile and burn, and could speak telepathically. But the fact that he had hidden for so long, just under their noses, for so long was...

Did Mystery not _trust_ them? Or was his reason for deception something else? Something _deeper_?

Just as Lewis had started to fall into a spiral of _concern_ and _fear_ and _am I not good enough to trust with secrets_ , the door to the ICU opened and a very weary nurse called out, "Kingsman?"

Lance shot up and nearly tackled the poor nurse. " _Yeah_? That's me!"

"I just wanted to say that, while visiting hours won't be for another few hours, Arthur is going to be okay. We've got him on some anesthetic to keep the pain at bay, but whoever cauterized the wound did a good job. He's gonna pull through _just fine_ , if not down one whole arm."

Lance wept. So did Lewis. And when the tears cleared, he went outside to tell Vivi and Mystery. And they wept too.

Because, despite the lies and trickery and differences, they _all_ loved Arthur.

And he was gonna be _okay_.

* * *

Arthur had forgotten how _bad_ the phantom pains had been to start. While Lance was taking drafting measurements for his arm and ordering metals and the electronics for the guts, he had to battle the concept of an arm that _definitely wasn't currently getting ripped off right now brain you stop that!_

So far, nothing had gone worse than the Cave. The demon was _dead_ —confirmed by Mystery, who ripped the thing to tatters and consumed the leftover energy—Lewis was _alive_ and _he_ was down an arm. And it was four weeks after the fact to boot! Longer than two before! That's some sort of record.

( _Don't relax. It's not safe. Nothing is. You can't win_.)

In addition to his new painkillers—taken _as sparsely_ as possible because the pain was real and grounding but also Lance would gripe if he didn't take them at all—the doctor had him going to a psychiatrist who set him up with a new SSRI, more benzos, and weekly therapy. His mental health was... _questionable_ at best but...

Beggars and so on.

But Lance had him on bedrest at his place while Arthur tried to get used to being one armed for a bit, which meant he had to re-learn to use his right hand to write and draw and everything else. It also left Arthur bored beyond belief, which led to shenanigans of the somewhat normal kind.

Vivi brought him lunch every day, fresh from Pepper Paradiso, and chatted endlessly about Chloe's antics, the customers, and whatever else struck her fancy. Her voice was appreciated and her presence chased away the blues, ironically. Lewis came by and made him dinner every night; always something interesting but always something Arthur loved. His laughter and singing made even the emptiest room feel packed to the brim with love and life and warmth. Mystery kept him company during the duller hours, talking animated now that he had outed himself. He curled up in Arthur's lap and lulled the insomniac to sleep by being a pet. It was calm and warm and happy.

( _At the end of the day, they have to go home. They go home without you and are happy without you and are in love without you_.)

And it was _okay_. It was okay.

( _It wasn't okay._ )

* * *

Lewis held Arthur's hand while Vivi listened intently to Lance. "So th' clamp here hooks up t'the port on his, _uhm_ , stump." Arthur smiled back at Lance apologetic grin and the older Kingsman continued. "Then you pull the lever to th' rest position and it locks on!"

" _Seems_ simple enough," Vivi said, squinting at the chart.

"It's pretty simple. I wanted to make sure _anyone_ can get it off me if I'm not able to." Arthur ducked his chin at the design Lance was referencing. "If I'm in pain or unconcious, you need to know how to get it off. It's not _supposed_ to be slept in but one or two nights won't hurt _too_ bad, after the initial adjustment period." Lewis squeezed his hand to let him know he was proud of him.

"And it's built to take off with one arm too!" Lance noted, proudly.

"You _sure_ now is okay?" Lewis asked Arthur. Arthur nodded.

"Took my pain killers a few minutes ago so they're setting in. The quicker my nerves get used to the connection, the better. I'm getting antsy, cooped up like this!" He wiggled his stump to emphasize the fact.

Mystery chuffed, stifling a laugh around the one person who didn't know his secret. Lewis shot him a scandalized glare.

"If you're _sure_...," Vivi moved slowly, hesitantly. She pressed the clamp end of the prosthetic to Arthur's stump, aligning the ports. Then she turned the lever.

Arthur bit back a yelp of pain. Vivi and Lance winced in sympathy while Lewis felt Arthur's hand grip his tighter than before. Mystery's tail tucked down, aware of the pain Arthur was in. With a hissing sigh, he let go of Lewis's hand and closed his eyes. "Moment of truth."

Everyone watched with bated breath as Arthur lifted up his prosthetic left hand and flexed the fingers one at a time. The movement was shaky and slow, but there.

Vivi pressed happy kisses all over Arthur's face as Lewis squeezed his hand in happy reassurance and Lance whooped with glee.

They'd done it!

He had two hands again!

* * *

Time has a funny way of passing without anyone noticing. _Especially_ when one of those 'anyone's had lived no more than three weeks of this time at any one period.

When month four of his time in this loop passed, Arthur found that he was _surprised_. No, not surprised, _apprehensive_. He was still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

He was waiting for the inevitable.

Currently, though, he was working on repairs for the van. Vivi and Lewis were planning on going somewhere warm for the winter and they invited Arthur along.

( _Pity vote. Second fiddle. Third wheel_.)

He needed to make sure their primary form of transportation was up and running well enough to not need expensive-ass chains just to leave the driveway.

Mister and Missus Pepper were too busy keeping their little ones from dying of hypothermia during the school day to go on a vacation. Lance had a business to run. Mister and Missus Yukino had business to attend to with Gramma Yukino's side of the family so they were out of town.

It was the three of them, in a van, for God knows how long. _Alone_.

Well, alone and with Mystery.

_Irregardless_. Alone for the winter-summer. With Vivi and Lewis.

( _They don't need you_.)

It was enough to make butterflies rattle against his heart. Apprehension and desire. A tepid mix of emotions.

His new prosthetic—a slight upgrade from the previous version with better torque in the wrist and more dexterity in the fingers—ached where it met the ports in his stump. That was _fine_. Pain was fine.

_In. Out._

But winter. Apprehension. _Fear_.

It could all go so wrong.

It could all go so _right_.

( _Unlikely. They don't care for you like that. You know that. Third wheel. Odd one out. Loser. Pathetic. Their pet cripple_.)

_In. Out_. A grounding jolt of pain.

But _still_...a disaster waiting to happen. The other shoe. It wouldn't be _free_.

Gallahad wheeled up with bolts in his cheek pouches. Arthur smiled fondly and pet him on the head with one finger. The hamster let out a soft chitter and wheeled off. "Good boy," he said.

This trip would be fun.

( _Third wheel third wheel third wheel_.)

Just a winter trip.

( _Unwanted third whee_ l.)

They wouldn't abandon him.

( _Odd one out_.)

_In. Out._

It would be okay.

* * *

"What do you _mean_ this one is all your fault?!" Lewis yelled, jerking the steering wheel to the right to avoid a large branch.

"I mean," Mystery replied, " _I'm_ the one she's after!"

"She," Lewis retorted, "is trying to kill _all_ of us!"

"If if weren't for _me_ , she would have no issue with you! Mortals are _beneath_ her!"

" _Gee_ , thanks!"

"Hey guys? While I understand that tensions are high and such, can you _shut up_? I'm tryin' to write some talismans for shit back here and it's hard to do with all this ruckus!" Vivi, hands covered in ink, grimaced at Lewis and Mystery in the front seat. "It's like you never had to run for your life from something before..."

"Not in many months, Vi," Arthur noted, "and _not_ on vacation."

"Oh _boo hoo_ ," she stuck out her tongue in response, "we're all in the same van!"

"And I'd very much like to stay that way!"

Another branch sprouted from the ground and Lewis swerved to avoid it. " _Fuck_!"

"I could stall her if you'd let me!" Mystery offered.

"And the answer is, as before, _over my dead body_!" Arthur hollered back. His eyes were wild, hair rippling about. His left arm was dangling weird, a gash in the chassis sparking wildly.

Vivi dragged her brush one last time and let out a shout of joy. " _Done_! Eat ancient traditions, you wooden _cunt_!"

"You might want to keep that language in check," Mystery warned. "She doesn't go down easy or take well to insults."

"She can _eat my ass_!"

"I'd rather prefer _his blood_ , but if _you're_ offering!"

Everyone looked back to see the tree-woman that had been chasing them sitting gently in the back of the van. Her stick-like legs were criss-crossed beneath her and her oversized shears were jammed into the floor beneath her.

Arthur keened in pain and fear and horror.

Mystery's tails whipped back and forth, all six of them. " _Leave_ ," he snarled. "I left you then for a reason!"

"And _replaced_ me just as easily, dog." The woman sneered, lazily running a thumb over her shear's blade. "Don't you _tire_ of these mortals? You've been with them for _so_ long. _Surely_ it's time to return to me and our home?"

Lewis corrected his path and eased off the gas, eyes wide and heart hammering. What else could he do but stop? She was _right there_! There was no running from this!

"You _used_ me, Shiromori!" Mystery retorted.

"You _made_ me, Migi! You don't _get_ to abandon me too!" Shiromori bristled. It was then that Vivi struck, without warning or plan.

She slammed her bat, one of her new talismans attached to it, and watched gleefully as Shiromori's head came clean off, crumbling to dust. " _Eat ancient traditions_  (and also stainless steel) _you wooden cunt_!" Vivi repeated.

Mystery stared at the victorious Vivi in absolute horror. Arthur, too, seemed frozen in fear. Vivi, confused, looked at her companions. " _What_ , no applause?"

"Let me give you a hand." Vivi turned back to see Shiromori regenerate her head and sneer at her. Admittedly, the blue-haired human did look sheepish. "After all, you're _just like that bitch_ all those decades ago!" Arthur screamed and threw himself forward. So did Mystery. Shiromori's shears closed with a _snap_.

* * *

Arthur woke up, with a start, in a soft bed.


	6. In Which Arthur Looks for Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just wasn't ready, but baby I'll find a way. Baby I'll find a way, find a way to get you back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hi, hello there. Local Regis of Angst Sandr here! Chaboi wanted to finish this chapter as soon as they could so that they could talk to y'all as a collective!
> 
> Look. Here's the deal:
> 
> I love the enthusiasm y'all have for this story. I really do. But I need you to cut back on the comments that read as "I NEED [whatever]". It has nothing to do with you, your tone, or your intentions. It has to do with a story I wrote a long time ago.
> 
> I never finished it. Not because I didn't want to, because I did, back when I thought it was any kind of decent. (Spoiler, it's not. It's a very bad story both objectively and subjectively and it's execution leaves something to be desired. That, however, is moot.) No, I stopped writing because of reviews like that.
> 
> They were so entitled. I know that, for sure, y'all don't do it like that, but these reviewers were. They were demanding updates NAO and expecting so much from me, a teenager who was not doing well emotionally. And I couldn't take that.
> 
> I stopped updating. In fact, my last update was a reply to a comment about how I couldn't just not finish it. How I couldn't stop there. How I COULDN'T whathaveyou. So I did. Fuck 'em.
> 
> But I want to finish this. I have the whole thing mapped out and I want to love it. But sometimes comments that insist I NEED to so something or how I HAVE to do something else are a drain on my emotions. I hate them but I don't hate you. (I could never hate you. Don't worry about that. Y'all are great. It's my own perceptions of the comments.)
> 
> So if y'all could do me a favor and NOT leave comments like that, I'd super appreciate it.
> 
> Anyway, warning for some emotional manipulation and sorry for the heavy shit.
> 
> Hope you like this one. It's Mean(TM).

_Fear_? No. _Pain_? Perhaps. What Arthur felt most upon waking was _grief_.

That had been _happier_. That had been _longer_. That had been _better_.

Until it wasn't.

( _It never really was though. You know this. It never was better. You just like to lie to yourself._ )

Arthur didn't bother to turn off his alarm or grab his phone or anything else as he left his room. He just needed answers. All else be damned.

Rapping quickly on Vivi's door, Arthur held tight to his left arm, still shaken by having feeling in it, and breathed.

_In. Out. In. Out. Be in the now. In. Out._

Vivi, bleary and rubbing sleep from her eyes, blinked at Arthur when she opened her bedroom door. " _Art_?"

"Hey, _yeah_ , sorry for the rude wake-up call and all but, I have _a_ —" _think of a decent, plausible lie Kingsman_ "— _question_ for you. You can go back to bed after though!"

Vivi, still groggy, nodded at him to continue. Arthur peered around her to see if Mystery was awake. He had always been a lighter sleeper than her, so if she was up, he was too... _usually_...

His tail was moving softly, barely perceivable against Vivi's crimson sheets, but it was the movement of an awake Mystery.

He was listening.

_Good_.

" _Sorry_ , but like...I had a weird dream and was wondering if any of it _meant_ anything? I know that dream-interpretation isn't your bag but Duet has shit on it so you must have read _something_?" Raised eyebrows, tilted grin, never mind that his eyes were dead knots in a dying tree.

Vivi wrinkled her nose. "I could _try_?"

" _Cool_. Okay so there's this thing. _Kinda_ looks like a lady but with a bonsai growing from her head and green skin and red eyes. Kinda spooky but it gets _worse_." Mystery stiffened but kept up his game of pretend. "She opens her hands and there's three flowers: a blue orchid, a purple rose, and a golden sunflower. She tears them out one by one and wails. ' _Migi_!' She howls, ' _you left me Migi!_ '" _There_ , his hackles rose and his tail stopped moving. Arthur had Mystery's _full_ attention now. He'd surely come to Arthur for information. He _couldn't_ ignore him now. "Then in her palm blooms a crimson lotus with six large petals. She sneers and cups it gently. ' _You left me so long ago, but I will find you. You can't run from me any more, Migi_.' And I woke up."

Arthur knew that _Mystery_ knew he was watching him. Arthur _also_ knew that every word he said got him closer and closer to his answers. Closer and closer to his goal.

Vivi chewed on her lower lip, eyes unfocused and tired. Her hair was fluffy and her right cheek still had a smudged red mark from where her hand had been pressed against it in the night. While Arthur had been explaining his 'dream' to her, she looked more and more interested but no less sleepy. As he finally finished, she nodded off for a quick second.

"I mean," she mumbled, "I dunno what the lady was on about but Migi is a pretty common Japanese word. Means 'right', like the direction. Used commonly with hands n' shit. Flowers are cool tho... _hafta_ ," she yawned, jaw cracking, "hafta look at th' meanings of 'em. Orchids and sunflowers and roses and lotus flowers... _s'neat_..."

"Don't let it keep you awake. Just a _dream_ , after all..." Arthur grinned at her and made a shooting motion with his hand. "Get some more ' _z_ 's Vi and call me in the morning."

"... _kay_...," she yawned again and rubbed her eyes. " _Night_ Artie..."

She closed her door and he could hear the padding of her socked feet wandering back to bed. Still, Arthur listened for another kind of padding, paws against the floor.

_Nothing_.

With a disappointed huff, Arthur walked back to his room. It wouldn't be long though. Mystery wasn't patient.

Not with _that_ kind of information around.

* * *

True to form, it wasn't more than an hour before Mystery tore into his room in a flare of blue foxfire, his tails fanned out and his fangs bared. " _What do you know?!_ "

"Hi there. Took you long enough." Arthur didn't feel the fear he would have. He didn't feel the shock he would have. He didn't feel _anything_. "And I know most of it. Missing some middling bits, like that Shiromori woman." He laughed. It wasn't unkind, but it was a dry and unappealing sound. "You being a kitsune is old hat. So put the sharp teeth and fire away and _calm down_."

" _Who_ told you? _Why_ do you know?" Mystery still wasn't budging. If anything, he looked angrier and worse off.

" _You won't believe me_ ," Arthur sang.

" _Try_ me."

"I've died six times now. The first time I died with the knowledge you were a kitsune and so on. Shiromori and whateverthefuck Migi is comes from the last one. And _let me tell you_ ," he huffed through his nose, vaguely amused at this situation, "garden shears the size of my head are _very_ intimidating."

Mystery didn't look away, didn't calm down, didn't say a word.

"But _so_ far my collection of deaths contains two from falling on spikes, one buckshot to the back, one knife to the throat, one overdose on prescription medicines, and a giant pair of gardening shears." Arthur ticked off each death on a finger, lackadaisically noting how Mystery flinched each time. Even angry, confused, and upset, he _cared_.

( _Not for you. His secret. His secrets. It wouldn't matter anyway. If you die, he forgets you know. If you die, it doesn't matter in the end._ )

"And as for _you_ , I haven't said a _word_ to the others. Vivi didn't care as much as you might think, coz she's _all_ about that shit. Last three times she took it okay enough, as far as I recall." Mystery growled, low. "Lewis, on the other hand, doesn't cotton to kitsune as easily. He's more... _skeptical_. A dog that's lived for pretty much a century is _buckwild_ and Lewis Pepper does _not_ do buckwild."

"And _you_?"

"When I'm from, you had to rip my arm off to stop a possession. _Of course_ I know what you are. It just took dying a bit for the fear to lose its edge." Arthur smiled. It _wasn't_ a smile. "Those fangs are insurance for me now. A promise I won't kill him ever again. Not on purpose. Not if _you're_ there, with those teeth and that fire and that _drive_." His face was pained, his tone joyous. Mystery withdrew, grimacing.

"Shiromori is—"

"Just what _is_ she? Will she come back? Does she only want _you_ or will she kill Vivi and Lewis _too_? Is there a way to kill her? What is it that she wants?" _Now_ he was interested. Now that Mystery was talking, believing him, it _mattered_. _All_ of it mattered. _Everything_ mattered now.

"Shiromori is _none_ _of your_ —"

"Shiromori _is_ my business because she _killed_ me. And, if your reaction before I died was any hint, she wouldn't stop with _one_ of us. _All_ of us would die. ' _Don't you tire of these mortals? You've been with them for so long. Surely it's time to return to me and our home?_ ' That's what she said. So either tell me what I want to know, or _fuck off_."

Feral, Arthur's aura roiled like a boiling sea, gold peeling away in flakes of death and dying and pain and so much more. He lunged forward and grabbed at Mystery's scruff, hands crooked claws and movement jerky as a marionette. Mystery darted out of his reach and snarled.

" _Don't touch me!_ "

"I _need_ to know if she's a threat! I _need_ to know if she'll come by _no matter what_ or if it's something _I_ did because it's _always_ something I did! I _need_ to know, Mystery, because they _can't_ die!" He grabbed for Mystery again. Mystery jerked away and snapped at Arthur's hand.

"I said _don't_!"

"Shiromori is _unknown_! It had been four months and all was _fine_! She fucked _everything_ up! I was _safe_! _We_ were safe! We were _happy_! And she took _everything_ away so I _need_ to know what she _is_ , what she can do! I need to know if it's _my_ fault or not! I _need_ to know! _Please_ , Mystery, tell me what she is!" One last grab. One last plea.

Mystery lunged, afraid, cornered. He meant to run. He meant to flee. He snapped in fear.

His teeth met neck.

Golden eyes locked with crimson ones. Copper flooded his mouth.

Mystery heard a soft and muffled scream. Saw a flash of blue in the corner. Knew he had no choice now.

Foxfire flickered on the tip of his tails. She couldn't remember. It would kill her.

She had to forget.

* * *

Arthur woke up, with a start, in a soft bed.


	7. In Which No Progress is Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Need to stop hurrying, slow down and take control. Gotta stop worrying about your problems, you should know. Need to stop feeling like my life is such a mess because the world has got me in it. It's my time and I should live it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God. Damn. It.
> 
> This chapter fought me every step of the way. To the point that I told one friend that I was, to quote, "Quite rankled. Just completely fucking miffed." But it's done now. Over and done with and about 2x longer than my initial predictions.
> 
> Also: since we don't know much about Duet and Chloe aside from character sheets, have some HCs in this chapter! You'll see more of them probably. Duet for sure.
> 
> Duet uses they/them canonically so please respect that. Thank you.
> 
> Another fun note since it's been a FAQ since like...the second chapter: the loops that Arthur leaves behind when he dies continue on but we don't see them. When he leaves, he takes his soul with him so there'd be no ghost. And any lasting consequences of his actions would leave scars across the land and people.
> 
> Do with that what you will.
> 
> Also also! Since I doubt I'll ever go into detail about it, have some Duet info:  
> \- they're a druid from ancient times (indeterminate time and place, though they traveled a lot before the witch hunts) but is younger than Mystery  
> \- they know what and who Mystery is but say nothing because why bother? He's a grown-ass kitsune. He can make his own decisions.  
> \- they can see the future by divining things from the Now (a sort of spatial existence we all wade through as mortals) but also are cryptic af because it's fun  
> \- whatever Arthur is doing carries along in his Now so Duet is having one hell of a bad time
> 
> And lastly, because I can: thank all a y'all for the kind wishes. You never cease to make me smile.
> 
> Next chapter is the last full, chronologically consecutive loop before we reach rising point. Good luck and hold on to your tears y'all!

Fuck is a four letter word. Betrayal is an eight letter one. Twice the length, twice the force, twice the pain.

Arthur coughed for several minutes after waking up. It really wasn't the shock that did it—the cultists already did that one, smaller, but still—it was moreso the reminder of teeth and blood and so on. "Fuck," he hissed. Then, with conviction, " _fuck_!"

He felt small again. A child. He wanted his two favorite people. He wanted to crawl into bed with them and make sure they were alive and breathing.

He wanted to scream and cry.

He wanted to _stop dying_!

He wanted them to be happy _forever_.

Instead, he settled for doing his best to make them smile and laugh and be happy _now_. Even if it's _only_ for now. Even if it's only _temporary_. Even if it's not gonna _last_.

 _One time_. He just wanted _one_ time where he could be with them.

One. _Fucking_. Time.

* * *

Lewis was surprised by the smell of vaguely-singed eggs and also good coffee as he shuffled out of the bathroom, his button-up jammies slightly damp because he spilled toothpaste water down his front like a half-blind dink. He was also surprised as he chased the worry of ' _oh fuck I hope the apartment isn't on fire_ ' to the kitchen where Arthur was humming quietly and flipping something vaguely _brown_ in a frying pan. The stove ventilation was on and half a dozen eggshells were piled in a blank ceramic mug on the counter, as was a bottle of vanilla, some cinnamon, and an open milk container.

To his credit, Arthur _did_ look embarrassed. "Coffee's on the table."

Lewis's Sailor Senshi mug was already a warm hue and upon a quick sniff, was already pretty much a coffee syrup. How nice! Reclining in his chair, Lewis sipped at his coffee and smiled. " _So_ did the chicken offend someone?"

" _Hm_? Oh!" Arthur blushed, dusting his face a pink that brought out his freckles. "I'm not as good as you in the kitchen but I know how to cook French toast! Just not... _well_..."

"Ah... _un petite chicken_!" Lewis said in a very fake, very pretentious French accent. " _L'monster horrible_!"

"Unlike _some_ ," Arthur sniffed, "I paid attention in French, Pepper."

"I took Spanish."

"You speak it _fluently_!"

"I pretended not to!"

"Until Mister Cavendish caught you reading a Spanish translation of _InuYasha_!"

"The nuance is nice!"

Arthur just shook his head and flipped the toast. "A damn shame. You're too cute to be a cheater."

" _Sabes que me ames_!" Lewis winked and Arthur's blush was back full-stop. _Fuck_. He sipped his coffee, smug as shit.

Arthur slid the mostly burnt French toast onto a plate and walked it to Lewis, who noted the fact that he left the stovetop on. " _Bonne appetite_!"

"I think," Lewis smiled at the homemade and very very bad food, "that there's enough carbon on this toast to be good for my bones _for sure_." He poked at it with a fork. "If this breaks my teeth, I'm gonna sue."

Arthur threw a bottle of syrup at Lewis, who caught it with one hand. "You suck."

"I will if I have no teeth."

" _Fuck you_."

Lewis drowned his crispy, crunchy French toast in syrup and speared a piece. Tentatively, as Arthur started another piece for Vivi, he tasted the toast.

 _It_...

Didn't kill him.

"You dead yet?" Arthur asked, slapping a soggy piece of pre-cooked toast in the pan.

"My mouth tastes like a charcoal briquette covered in syrup and regret, _but_ I'm alive."

Arthur chuckled, tension in his shoulders releasing. "Nice to hear! Now maybe I can be team cook!"

"Art, I love you with all of me, but you would have to _literally_ exorcise my angry spirit to _ever_ take my place as team cook." Lewis didn't notice how Arthur stuttered in his movements, spatula making a terrible noise as it ripped across the bottom of the pan. He did, however, notice him walk away from the toast to pour coffee for Vivi and prep it too. Then he sprinted back to the pan to flip the toast a second too late. It was smoldering.

" _Fuck_."

"Maybe don't leave the pan on high? Medium cooks longer but you won't _burn_ it." Lewis tried for another bite. Still charcoal, syrup, and regret. The love made it worth it though.

 _Kinda_...

"Well...I'll eat _this_ one I s'pose..." Arthur sadly poked the toast and wrinkled his nose at its noisy crinkling. " _Yikes_."

The kitchen fell silent, all dialogue stopping as Lewis attempted to consume Arthur's hell toast and Arthur made more of said hell toast. There was a warmth there that made Lewis...profoundly _sad_ for some reason. Then Vivi padded in, Mystery at her heels, and wrinkled her nose.

"What _died_?"

"The culinary arts," Lewis said around a mouthful of hell toast soaked in coffee slurry.

"Fuck _off_ Pepper!"

"The gods are _crying_ , Art! Crying as you defile the fine joy of toast with your briquettes!"

Arthur looked wholly scandalized as he gave Vivi her 'toast' and coffee. "No one asked you."

"I did!"

"Shush you and eat food. I'm usurping Lewis as head cook!"

Lewis shot Vivi a look that read ' _no he isn't_ ' and handed her the syrup. "You're gonna need this."

"Oh... _kay_?" She drowned her toast and prodded it with a fork. There was no give. She poured on more syrup. More give, but not much.

 _Oof_.

" _So_ ," Arthur sat down with his own toast and knocked back a bit of coffee, "do you...mind if I tag along with you to work Vi?"

Had it not been for the toast in her mouth, stopping up her mouth-hole, she would have made a confused noise. As it were, she coughed a bit and swallowed. Lewis had been right, she _super_ needed the syrup. "S- _sorry_! Wh-why are you asking?"

The set of his mouth was off. The look in his eyes was distant. The way he laughed was hollow. "Just thinking we don't spend enough time together. I wanted to hang with my two favorite people!"

"Wh-we live _together_ Art!" She coughed harder, trying to dislodge crumbs from her trachea. She didn't know why she was protesting so much. There was just a charged feel in the air, like ozone before lightning, and it set her teeth on edge. She didn't want to _not_ take him but it was... _wrong_?

"I'm not hearing a 'no'." He nibbled on toast.

"I mean, I don't know if Duet will cotton to it?"

Arthur smiled again, this strange empty thing, "Duet or _you_?"

Vivi stiffened, face reddining under his scrutiny. "Arthur Kingsman don't you _fucking_ dare." Lewis, uncomfortable, shifted in his chair and scratched Mystery on the head, who pressed into the comforting motion. Neither were pleased with the current turn of events.

"You _can_ tell me no, you know. I'm not some sort of shrinking violet!" His voice wasn't rasied but there was ice to it that cut through all else.

"I _just_ don't know!" Her voice cracked. She took a breath and tried again. "I don't know _why_ I don't—"

Lewis interrupted, "Mama and Papa would be _glad_ to have you, Art, and they'd appreciate you more if you kept an eye on the girls. Come to work with me and we'll run lunch to Vi when the time comes." It was, at its heart, a weak compromise, but it seemed to work. Arthur brightened up again, all the ice and stiffness evaporating. "That should give her time to prep Duet and Chloe for your visit."

Beneath his hand, Mystery warily eyed Arthur, fur bristling slightly.

"Fair enough!" Arthur took another bite of toast and grimaced. "Never mind. You can _keep_ the position of cook. This is a disaster."

The levity wasn't enough.

The room echoed hollowly with fake laughter.

Something wasn't right but no one could find the cause.

* * *

Mystery grimaced and paced inside the back room of the _Tomb_. His tail was moving in pointed jerks and his fur still stood on end. **_What is wrong with that boy?!_**

"You're very loud, here, _alone_." Almost letting out a yip of fear, Mystery turned about to see Duet leaning against a bookshelf filled with ancient artifacts. "You should think softer."

 ** _You should mind your business_** , Mystery shot back. It was _fine_ , he figured, if they knew. They wouldn't tell anyone. They had their own agenda. **_I'm back here to avoid being out there!_**

"Worrying for your kits, correct?" Duet's mouth curved into a prim smile. An imitation of humanity. "It shows. Everything you touch smells of you."

**_Better that than the stink of a million years beneath the ground. A barrow is no place for magic._ **

"Back then I would have been revered. You're just being _petty_."

 ** _Druid_** , he warned, **_watch where you step. These are not matters to concern you._**

"Fox," they replied, smoothly, sonorously, "watch what you say. Keeping secrets will get you killed." Then they paused, a faraway look in their eyes. When clarity returned, Duet shook their head, "not _just_ you. Those you love."

**_What do you know?!_ **

"Time is mutable, Migi, but _also_ cyclical. Beware of repeating offenses." Duet didn't leave just yet, tapping a finger against their forehead. "Also," they added, "keep your eyes peeled for peeling peals of possible power. Love has as much strength as you."

Duet closed the door behind them, leaving Mystery to his thoughts. To his past. To his present.

To Arthur.

 ** _What do they know?_ ** He snorted derisively. **_Foolish druid, a million years in the dirt wouldn't teach you how to talk to your elders_**.

But time is cyclical.

Cyclical.

Cycling.

* * *

Carrying a plate of something fishy and interesting, looking like a poor imitation of Ziggy Stardust, and radiating ripples of something indeterminate through the Now and Future, Arthur walked into _the Tome Tomb_ with Lewis in tow. When he saw Vivi, he waved and drew her over. Behind the counter, Chloe chewed gum, disinterested, while Duet watched the whole procession with a calm facade.

A ripple pulsed out from Arthur and Duet had to blink away the visions. A wild chase, a demon, a gun, blood and pain. Then it was gone.

It was, Duet surmised, fortunate that no one but them could see these magical anomalies. Even Mystery, in his ancient wisdom, was blind to the passage of time. More so the invisible consequences.

(Quite frankly, the _whole_ damn thing gave them a hell of a headache, and not one anyone should have to ever suffer. Not even one's enemies.)

Arthur turned to laugh at something Lewis said and another wave caught Duet off-guard. Red robes, a bad mask, a flash of metal, blood and screams. They steadied themself against the counter.

"You okay, boss?" Chloe was looking up at them, brows knitted in concern. Duet gave her a reassuring smile.

"I'm fine. Don't fret, Chloe."

Chloe broke eye contact and grimaced, "wasn't worried..."

Duet turned their attention back to Arthur, who looked like he was swimming through time with all the distortions tearing free of him. Even Vivi had been affected, her outline in the Now wavering 'round the edges, but the source, it seemed, was something different entirely.

Like an impressionist painting, Arthur's form in the Now was crooked and broken and warped. It barely seemed human, even. It made Dust worry a mote. Arthur was good for their Vivi, so that meant that they had to play nice.

Behind her, Mystery walked into the room and sat down. His Now was calmer than Vivi's, but still stuttered and flickered. How fun. All of them.

Lewis said something else to Arthur, gesturing to Mystery, and another distortion tore free. Anger, yelling, teeth, blood, betrayal. The change in Arthur's expression were minute but amplified by the waves and echoes that surrounded him.

Duet hummed, concerned.

"Arthur?" They called out, raising a hand to get his attention. "Can you come here a moment?"

" _Huh_? Oh, sure!" He said something indeterminate to Vivi and Lewis, laughing, and trotted over to them. With every step, the distortions gave Duet more and more of a headache. By the time he finally was within speaking distance, Duet was seconds from downing some of their prescription ibuprofen just to dull the ache. The world swam with interference. Arthur gave Duet an apologetic grin that seemed pasted on. "Sorry about the noise. Once lunch is done with, I'll head back with Lewis so y'all can get back to sales and so on."

"Arthur, it's _fine_." This was a lie, but Duet cared too much for their Vivi and their Chloe to tell a hurtful truth. "I've just got a bit of a headache." A wave, pain and crying and pills and vomit. They staggered a bit. "I just wanted to give you some advice. A bit of a...prediction, if you will. I'm sure Vivienne has spoken of my skills before?"

Something shifted behind Arthur's eyes. He nodded, "she speaks the world of you. Says your predictions are top-notch!" The thing behind his eyes was dark and cold, emitting light by reaction alone. It was empty and _angry_.

Duet was suddenly very afraid _of_ the Kingsman boy, instead of _for_.

"Then allow me to pass one on to you: keep fast to your morals, child of kings. It is with each rotation of the wheel that your being is torn and shredded to nothing more than cheesecloth. Do not allow this to happen, you must stop the turning. And should you fail, with each frustrated attempt, you won't have the energy to remain when your form collapses. Your humanity is leaving, Arthur, and you do _nothing_ to halt the deterioration. Learn, adapt, and _talk to others_." Unlike many, this was not drawn from the Future, it was drawn from the fox and the tears of the Now. From the ripples that erupted from Arthur himself. They continued, steeling themself for backlash or another wave, "the answer is communication. Learn this lesson and unlearn all else. Make room for growth, Arthur, and do not discount the power of an apology."

The thing that Duet saw earlier, the angry and cold thing that rested deep within Arthur, flickered and stirred. His smile set firmly in place, Arthur played the part of happy friend well but a distortion caught Duet up in confusion, betrayal, falling, pain. They shifted to alleviate the pain.

"Well she was right!" Arthur said, the static sibilance of his voice crackling with the ripples of Now. "Vivi _said_ you were cryptic sometimes and that one's a doozy!" He laughed and it wasn't a laugh at all. "Thanks for the advice Duet! I'll get out of your hair now."

As Arthur left, so did all of the distortions and Duet's pain. Relieved, they leaned against the counter next to Chloe and chewed hesitantly at their lip. "Something," they muttered, "is very wrong."

* * *

He had tried to keep them together, Lewis, Vivi, and him. To not split at the fork. To send Mystery upward and let them sit at the safer lower path. But Vivi was hesitant and took off upward with the damn fox. That left Lewis and Arthur himself on the lower floor with the demon curling gently into its favored place in Arthur's left arm.

It was safe, wasn't it? The lower set?

**_That's what you think, isn't it, boy? That there are no spikes for your pretty boy to fall on, but you're wrong._ **

Even with the demon taking over, even knowing that he couldn't do a thing under its power, Arthur struggled and fought, drawing out the possession in its early stages.

**_You forget that you're much stronger than you look. You're a mechanic, Kingsman. Put those skills to use! Let's see how much damage your lean arms can do!_ **

Jerking Arthur forward, the demon wrapped his hands around Lewis's shoulders and shoved him into the wall. The resounding ' _crack_ ' made Arthur scream inside his mind as blood coated the rock face. Then, almost in response to his terrified wails, the demon grabbed Lewis by the neck and squeezed.

And squeezed.

And _squeezed_.

Until the life was gone from Lewis Pepper and all that remained was a cicada shell frozen in a moment of absolute terror, dazed glazed eyes locked in an expression that could only be read as ' _why_?!'

 ** _There_** , the demon dusted off Arthur's hands and stood up, listening for the sounds of anyone knowing what they'd done, **_point proven_**. _**Even big, beefy Lewis couldn't fend off weak, little Arthur. Give yourself some credit, boy. Or, me, in this case.**_

The demon tilted Arthur's head and listened again, intent and intense. The faint sound of Vivi and Mystery could be heard in the overhang above it. It smiled and cleared Arthur's throat for a second. _**Showtime**_.

"Vivi! Anyone? Help!" This thing was a convincing liar. Moreso than Arthur himself. It sounded so so lost.

_What are you—?!_

**_Garnering an audience. What's a magic trick without volunteers?_ **

Her feet pounded against the ground as she flew down the path. Arthur, sharing the demon's control of his senses, could hear her swearing softly under her breath. And this fucking thing wanted to kill her.

It had already killed Lewis.

 _It_ —

Mystery was nowhere to be found when Vivi slid into place, just within reach of the demon's vile sneak attack. A large stick that had been used for a stake some time ago cracked her across the face and she flipped on her way to the ground. Blood poured out of her gums and she spat a tooth out and glared at Arthur.

"What the _fuck_?" Then she saw, just beyond Arthur, the prone corpse of Lewis. " _What the fuck_!"

"Today," the demon said, mostly for Arthur and the rest for Vivi, "I'm gonna make this stake disappear _right_ into your chest!"

"Arthur no, wait, _please_!" The demon raised the sharp end of the stake and brought it down, wordlessly. She didn't say anything after that.

Vampire movies make it look so effortless, burying a stake in a heart, but there are ribs and muscle and cartilage in the way. Burying the stake took several tries and a few minutes that, when finished, left Arthur's body covered in blood and his hands in splinters.

Inside the prison of the demon, Arthur wailed.

But he dulled the sensation of foxfire when it came. He deafended the demon to the sound of Mystery's snarls. He closed off the sight of red and white and black.

Even trapped and grieving, Arthur moved with _purpose_.

And as fire, bright red and blue and gold, smelling of wood and fur and home and purity, consumed every inch of the demon, Arthur allowed himself a moment of smug satisfaction.

 _Possession is nine tenths of the law_ , he reminded the demon, _and the other one is the law of the jungle._

It wasn't progress, but a respite was enough.

And Duet knew something.

_Next time._

Next time for _sure_.

* * *

Arthur woke up, with a start, in a soft bed.


	8. In Which Monotony is Preferred

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who's gonna save me from myself? Who's gonna save me from my own childish games? Who's gonna save me from the help of losing you? Losin' my soul!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love how I complained about having a character with little information fighting me and then I do this shit. Whoops...
> 
> Anyway, on the last day of my time off this week, enjoy the last consecutive loop! Now we get into ephemeral "I've lost count of it, really" territory.
> 
> You can kinda see my edgy teen goth ass poke its lil head over my shoulder here. You can see it in the death and the deadness in Arthur's eyes. You can especially see it in the last section, before he wakes again. Sorry if it's hard for anyone but it's...where this one went.
> 
> If you like graphic death and death and death, I'm certain I have a story for you in my archives. It's...bad. But it's a darker shade of this, I guess. Also I was listening to a lot of my old faves from way back when so maybe that colored the tone. IDK.
> 
> A quick FAQ check! "What makes for an 'end loop' or, what will the cruel forces of fate consider a 'happy' enough ending for the four?"  
> Well, without giving too much away, I can say that 'happy' is not the issue, even if Arthur thinks it is. Neither is 'living' or 'together'. Arthur, being inside the loops, is kinda...myopic? He can't see the forest for the trees, as it were? Even if outside forces are LITERALLY giving the answer DIRECTLY to him.
> 
> I may do more of these but, these are the questions people keep asking. It's like a 'reply all' for comments lmao.
> 
> Warning this chapter: same sort of violence, focus on the loss of a limb, depersonalization, burning a human.
> 
> Um....hope you like it.

Arthur stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, dull and empty. Never mind the way the demon used him to kill Lewis and Vivi that time. Both of them. _Both_ of them.

( _You're pathetic, being so easy to possess. Killing your friends without a fight. Letting this shit just happen. Disgusting._ )

No, there was also Duet. Arthur had met them once, when he was down an arm and needed to talk to Vivi during recovery and therapy, when the pain and depression were worse than before. They had looked at him in that same off-hand, distant way and said some cryptic mumbo-jumbo about regrets which, upon looking back, _may_ have been a warning about Lewis's ghost. But here, in that last loop, it had been... _different_.

Duet had seemed pained to be around him which, considering Vivi's own reluctance to take him to work with her, seemed oddly expected. And the so-called prediction they had given was... _also_ bullshit.

" _Learn, adapt, and talk to others_ ," he mocked, softly staring at the ceiling. " _Make room for growth and do not discount the power of an apology._ Bullshit."

There had been... _something_ to Duet's prediction that had struck a chord though. Something that seemed true, _despite_ the absolute crock that Duet was pulling out their ass. Maybe it was the way they leaned away from Arthur or the way they seemed to be looking just behind him as they spoke. Either way, it wouldn't do to dismiss their advice wholecloth.

Cherrypicking, however, was fair game.

So the Cave had to play out the same every time. He had to lose his arm. Lewis had to die—even though a few loops back they'd managed to keep him alive, Shiromori was worse than the ghost Lewis became as unknown and he wasn't going to get anything else out of Mystery _ever,_ it seemed—and then the hospital and so on. _Sad_ , that's true, but the best version possible.

The _happiest_ version possible.

The _only_ option he had.

But maybe...this time Arthur could talk to the newly formed ghost. Maybe he could explain to Lewis's ghost that he wasn't at fault! Maybe he could fix things there!

( _It won't work. He'll kill you. And whether or not the actions were yours, the body was. The fault lies with you. You owe him that much. Understand you are at fault. Understand you are his killer. Don't try and run any more._ )

So convincing Lewis's ghost. That meant buttering up Lewis before the fact! That meant coffee and breakfast talk and that's it!

( _Don't even pretend that you're not covering up your sins._ )

* * *

Lewis couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong with Arthur. It wasn't that he was up at an ungodly hour—Arthur did suffer from insomnia and often spent the witching hour tinkering or planning to tinker later—but more...his _attitude_.

See, early-morning insomnia Arthur was usually four coffees in and _super_ not willing to tolerate early-morning Vivi and Lewis's bullshit. And early-morning Vivi and Lewis were _super_ prone to bullshitting at ungodly hours mainly because Vivi _naturally_ had no fucking chill and Lewis was one of the _dreaded_ morning people. But _this_ Arthur, this early-morning Arthur, was cheerily whistling and setting out coffee for both Lewis and himself.

_Decidedly_ _not_ normal early-morning Arthur behavior.

Another thing that was really bothering Lewis about Arthur was how focused he seemed on making sure Lewis himself was happy and taken care of. To the point of becoming a _bit_ of a helicopter, hovering in and out of his periphery and setting Lewis's nerves on edge. "You want a refill Lew?"

"I'm good."

Arthur's smile didn't waver. "Anything else?"

_Some space?_ "Nah, I'm _good_. Gotta save room for today's special. It's _wild_."

" _Oh yeah_! It's a fish thing, isn't it?"

Lewis stared at Arthur, who bit the inside of his cheek as if he didn't realize he let something slip. " _Yeah_? How did you—?"

"Lucky guess mostly! You eat enough meals at _Paradiso_ , you start to understand the logic behind it!" Arthur scratched his chin and then gripped his left arm in his right hand. "Seemed like a fish kinda week."

That didn't track. _Super_ didn't track, but Lewis wasn't gonna push the matter. It didn't seem pertinent. " _So_ ," Lewis sucked on his teeth, unsure of how to continue this awkward and somewhat strained conversation, "any plans?"

Arthur's smile strained, "not much. A mod for some sketch dude, Gallahad needs some tuneups, and then a onceover on the van before we head out. Even _without_ traffic, it's a thirty minute drive so we gotta give it some time and space and so on." His offhand gesture seemed nonchalant but—

Lewis gave him a soft smile in return. "Same here. Nothing more than meal prep and making sure the girls don't kill each other. Nothing says good time at work like ' _oh boy my remaining family members have just eaten shit_!'" Arthur laughed. It didn't seem right, but Lewis wasn't gonna press the matter.

_Thankfully_ , Vivi took this exact moment to enter and let out a wild yawn. " _Hoo boy_! I slept like the dead!"

"Premonition," Lewis joked.

"Coffee?" Arthur asked, offering her cup up.

"I hope the fuck _not_ and yes, _thank you_." Vivi grabbed her coffee and gulped a bunch down. She sighed, " _oh yeah_! Amazing! Artie, you're a _godsend_!"

"That's _me_ ," he let out a weak chuckle, "a godsent _hero_."

She pecked him on the head and sat down to drink away. Even with Vivi in the room and, as such, the added shenanigans, there was a tension that was almost palpable. Arthur was gripping his mug like his life depended on it, eyes distant and tired and deep-set. "Any food?"

" _Omelette du fromage_?" Lewis wondered at how Arthur jolted in his seat.

" _Non, monsieur_ Pepper. I'd rather have _oatmeal_ , if'n you don't mind." Vivi smiled widely and snuck a lap of coffee to Mystery, which was _almost certainly not_ something a dog should have.

"Okay, Art?" Arthur started, eyes darting between the two of them.

" _Mmhmm_! Oatmeal is good! That's _fine_! _Cool_ , cool!"

"You _sure_?"

"Yep. _Yeah_. _Super_ sure." He was lying.

" _Okay_..." Lewis didn't want to push. That would mean hurting Arthur and that wasn't chill. "Apple cinnamon oatmeal sound good?"

" _Yeah_."

"Delish, Lulu!" Vivi took another swig of coffee. Lewis was conflicted but...

"Alright. Coming _right_ up!"

The tension wouldn't abate. _Couldn't_ abate. Stayed.

* * *

"I don't _know_ , Mama," Lewis handed a few plates to Bell, who began drying them, "he just doesn't seem like himself."

"How so?" Ají Pepper, in all her matriarchal glory, answered her eldest with a question. He didn't need to look at her to know she was smiling in that shitty, _shitty_ way she did when she knew something he didn't.

"He's been... _distant_? Like he's a million miles away when he's right here. And it's only been going on since this morning!" Lewis handed Bell another plate. "Worse still is that there's this kinda... _fake_ feeling to everything he says to me? Like he's trying to get the right choices in a visual novel or some dating sim or _something_."

"And you think this is a _bad_ thing?" Ají asked. Lewis grimaced and groaned.

" _Mama_!"

"Don't you 'Mama' me!"

" _Why_ are you like this?!" Red coated his cheeks and he jammed another plate in Bell's hands. Bell laughed and stuck her tongue out at Lewis, who returned the favor.

"Because I _love_ you, Lulu, and _so_ does that boy." Ají Pepper smiled at her son, who placed his head in his hands and immediately regretted the dishwasher dripping into his shirt.

"What about Vivi?"

"Lewis, _meu felho_ , you beautiful _idiot_." Lewis looked up as his mother cupped his face in her hands, "do you think she doesn't feel the same? _Atirar-se de cabeça_ , just talk to them _both_." She laughed, her broad shoulders shaking, "you'd think your generation would have that on lock with all your new tech. You lot were born with your asses _right_ at the moon, that's for sure."

" _Mama_!" Even though his cheeks were ruddy and he was wiping tears from his eyes, Lewis saw where she was coming from. Still...

"Lewis, you've _always_ been the quiet one. Know me when I say this: _despite_ her mouth, Vivi is _just_ as scared as you and _in spite_ of his bright smile, Arthur would let the world trample him before he admitted his pain. You need to _mediate_ , dear, before she talks his ear off and he walks away disheartened." She embraced him again and pet his hair. Despite the fact that Lewis was a head taller than her, his Mama always made him feel safe and small again. "Between the three of you, you _might_ have one whole adult."

"I have a job _outside_ of _Paradiso_ , Mama," Lewis protested.

"And yet you couldn't tell your ass end from your front unless your Mama labeled it. Just because you can drink doesn't make you _smart_ , Lulu."

"...I _know_..."

"Now don't be stubborn. Talk to them about how you feel. It took Arthur saying anything before you and that girl shacked up. No telling how long it'd be before the third clued in." She patted him on the head again and then shoved him off. "But _first_! Dishes. Just because you have another job, doesn't mean you can slack off."

Lewis laughed, sad but relieved. "Okay Mama. Love you."

"Love you too, Lulu."

* * *

The Cave was _exactly_ what Arthur remembered. The voice was louder and worse though, as the pastel green mist crept around his feet and up underneath his skin.

**_This is a blatant invite! You've set the table and everything!_ **

_Fuck off_ , Arthur thought back, barely fighting the demon for control.

**_But how could I? You left the place unlocked and look at all this trauma! A smorgasbord! I'd be a damn fool to leave all this for some other fuck to feed on!_ **

_Fuck. Off._

He tried to occupy it long enough for Mystery to clue in. He tried to keep it busy enough to not notice the kitsune sneaking up. He tried to blind it to the smell of wood smoke and untethered magical fire.

Lewis fell, betrayed, and Mystery struck.

Could the fox feel his gratitude? He had mentioned, once, being able to read auras. Was his steeped in blood and pain and thanks and fear? Was it broken because of every loop he had endured? Was it less than human, shredded like cheese, as Duet implied?

Still, the searing pain of fire cut through the exhausted thanks and blackness overtook him. _When I wake_ , he promised himself, _I'll find Lewis and apologize. I'll tell him I'm so so sorry. I'll make him understand. I'll bring him home._

( _And should I die before I wake, I pray my friend my soul to take. A lie. A lie. A pretty lie._ )

* * *

_Pushed_. Arthur had _pushed_ him! He had _pushed_! _Him_! To his _death_!

_That's_ why he had been so nice! _That's_ why he had been so jumpy, so off! He was planning on _killing_ him!

Lewis Pepper died at the hand of his best friend at the age of 21.

Lewis Pepper could never go home to his Mama, his Papa, his sisters.

He could never go back home to his girlfriend, who was left alone, unassuming, with a killer.

( _Oh god. She had seen him fall. Had seen the spike run right through his heart. Had seen the blood and pain and death and death and death and death and—!_ )

But he had—

He had Wished—

_Please! Please don't let her see this!_

Wished for—

_Don't let her be hurt by this!_

For her to—

_Forget! Forget! Please just forget you ever saw this!_

Newly formed, Lewis allowed his pain, his grief, his rage to fester in his Anchor. He needed to wait, to grow.

He _needed_ to be strong enough to protect her from him.

_Him_.

His killer.

"Lewis?"

Speak of the _fucking_ devil.

Footsteps, shaky and off-kilter, echoed in the lower path of the cave that served as Lewis's grave. Arthur was looking for him. Looking for _his ghost_.

"Lewis, I _know_ you're here. I mean, not quite _here_ -here but," Arthur coughed hard enough that Lewis could hear some sort of fluid splat against the cave wall. With even his weak senses, he could tell it was blood. Arthur was coughing _blood_.

_Good_ , the spiteful part of him sneered. His Anchor beat once, twice, its color a vibrant gold. He contemplated coming to see Arthur but—

"Lewis I need to _explain_! _Please_ let me explain!" _Oh_ , he sounded _desperate_! _Poor_ Arthur just _had_ to explain! Well now Lewis _had_ to go see him!

( _As if!_ )

"There was a _demon_! This was the best way! If it was Vivi, _anyone else_ , it can't! It ends _so badly_!" _Did it_ , Arthur? Did it end _badly_? And what of _now_?

Lewis didn't move but his Anchor beat harder, each moment in the presence of the ( _monster murderer fiend pain killer liar liar liar_ ) thing that killed him giving him more and more and more reason to hate him. To want to see him _suffer_ and _die_.

Fire rippled around his feet—feet that didn't touch the ground any more, didn't need to—and Lewis wanted so bad, _so so bad_ , to go to Arthur and _destroy_ him.

( _No. Let him stew. Let him suffer. Let him remember what he did. Make him remember._ )

"She _dies_! _Would_ die! It was you or her and I had—if it had been _her_ , she doesn't come back like you do! And I _know_ ," Arthur coughed again, sputtering and heavy, his voice closer and closer to the end of the lower path, "I _know_ it hurts! I know this is _bad_ but it's for the best!"

_Nope_. He was done. This was _bullshit_.

" ** _For the best?!_** " Fire encapsulated the two of them as Lewis manifested closer to his ( _faker fucker hated liar demon monster love murderer faker faker faker_ ) killer. The dull recognition in Arthur's face wasn't satisfying as he took in his new appearance. Lewis narrowed his eye sockets and leaned forward to snag Arthur by his hospital scrubs. " **My death was ' _for the best_ '?! Tell me, Kingsman, how is _this_ for the best?!** "

( _Oh god, he's so sick. Did he come out of the hospital just to find me? Is he—is he missing an arm?!_ )

Arthur smiled and it was _there_ again, that _thing_ he had seen behind his eyes at breakfast. It was hollow and dead and it made Lewis _so fucking mad_. "You're _here_ , aren't you? If _I_ die, it ends. If _Vivi_ dies, she _never_ returns. If _we all_ live, _that woman_ comes and kills _all of us_ to get to Mystery! There _is_ no happy ending, only _happier_ ones!" His words were blank shots, falling from his lips. _Fake fake fake fake!_ " _Nothing_ is free here. One for another. We have to be _happy_ , and if that means _I_ hurt and you _die_ and _we suffer_ , then _so be it._ We _need_ to be happy. _You_ need to be happy." There was nothing there, in his chest. There was nothing in his tone. He was broken, breaking, battered, bruised. Behind his eyes lay a hungry, hollow, harrowed thing that writhed with arcs of orange and yellow and the burning smell of something unplugged and on.

( _Sick. He sounds sick. He's hurting. Arthur, oh Arthur, why didn't you talk to us?_ )

" **Does this _look_ happy?!** " Anger, grief, pain. He shook his ( _friend love best thing that ever happened to him_ ) murderer about. " **I'm _dead_ , Arthur! _Dead_! _How_ can I be _happy_ dead?!** "

" _I've_ managed."

( _Oh god._ )

Lewis saw red.

The world ran magenta.

Fat coated his fingers.

It's all meat, after all.

Cooked well done, revenge served hot, Lewis fell to his knees. His Anchor cracked once, twice, thrice, a cold blue of grief and pain and sorrow.

* * *

Arthur woke up, with a start, in a soft bed.


	9. In Which Time Passes in the Worst of Ways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thought I told you: stop fucking with me!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's the skip! One more before the climactic rise and we're done! I'm planning on adding some lighthearted bonus chapters eventually but, for now, chapter 14 is it.
> 
> (I considered making this my NaNoWriMo but like...idk. Maybe. It'll have been the closest I've gotten lmao.)
> 
> Anyhoo—! Now for a FAQ:
> 
> "You keep saying there'll be a happy ending but it never seems viable! Are you having us on?"
> 
> Nah man, I'm just good at emotional responses. The story seems bleak now, with five chapters left, but I can, with all honesty, say that the end is decidedly happy. You just gotta trust me.
> 
> I'm mean but not that mean. The world is hard but choose joy, y'all. Be happy for you. I wouldn't keep you hurting. That's fucking rude.
> 
> This chapter brought to you by plot twist: you thought Vivi would be the only one who wouldn't hurt Arthur! Haha! You were wrong! Enjoy the pain!
> 
> Also, if you want me to warn for anything, lemme know. It's for your health. I'll do it :>
> 
> Warning: depersonalization, nonconsentual possession, self-loathing, stabbing, threats of bodily harm.

It's strange when time becomes meaningless and life is just a stop on the way to the next death. After a bit, Arthur started losing track of what did what to whom and just kept mental notes on "right" and "wrong" solutions to various issues.

If he wandered off in the Cave, without Mystery to accompany him, then he was possessed and the demon would kill whomever he was with using his body. If he didn't go, no one could fight off the possession well enough, and the demon killed everyone involved and Mystery had to clean up the remains. If he convinced Mystery that shit was going to go bad, Mystery could tear out the demon before it killed but Shiromori came faster that way. Lewis's ghost never listened to Arthur, no matter how early into his death he visited him. Vivi never came back if she died.

Mystery never talked about Shiromori and never took Arthur knowing about her well. Duet was always distant and wary. Lance always seemed to think something was wrong with Arthur. Gallahad slowly was being less comfortable around him. The morning routine became tiresome.

Breakfast tasted like ash, the dialogue tired. Waking up was the worst part of the loop.

Sabotaging the van ended poorly. If they sped, they died in a crash. If they didn't go, something else occurred that ended in tragedy. If one of them went and the rest didn't, that one was possessed and wreaked havoc on the remaining three.

If left alone, Arthur would always kill himself.

Data is data, though, and that meant that he was closer and closer to the perfect end. The best end. The finality. _Relief_.

Maybe he could try something new.

* * *

Vivi wandered about, mouth open, and stared at the cave laid before her. Overall, this adventure seemed promising. While Arthur's initial apprehension had evaporated—seemingly overnight—into calm acceptance, he hung by Lewis every possible second, casting glances at Mystery every so often. Lewis, mouth set in a soft but determined line, was keeping a wary eye on the spikes hanging from the ceiling and jutting from the floor.

"I think we may have hit pay-dirt boys!" She tried to reign in the excitement but goddammit! This cave just _eked_ the feeling of something spooky!

"The contact said there was something supposedly _trapped_ here, yeah?" Lewis kept scanning the surrounding architecture, looking for danger, a reason to leave. He wasn't a scaredy-cat in the slightest, but he was highly susceptible to jump-scares and screamed when he got spooked.

"According to local legend, there was a wicked man who made a deal with the devil for immortality. The devil granted him the skill to return from the dead whenever he pleased, taking over a host and using their body to wreak havoc in the name of the devil himself." Vivi bounced back and forth on the balls of her feet. " _Supposedly_ someone trapped the man in his latest body here and put up wards that would never break, even if he managed to infest another."

Arthur grimaced, " _fucker_."

" _Language_ , Kingsman!"

" _Mother_ fucker," he added. Vivi laughed, defeated.

They wandered in the entrance for a bit, observing the signage in various languages that amounted to " **HELLA HAUNTED, FUCK OFF** ". To Vivi's delight, one seemed to be made of human flesh, bone, and written in dried blood. "They treated it with wax to keep insects from eating the writing!"

"That's clever," Arthur leaned forward and inspected the sign. "This is French!"

"Creole, I'd assume, considering the materials. Maybe Haitian-French?" Vivi peered at the sign for a second then turned back to Arthur, who was eying Mystery with a certain level of disdain? " _You_ went to college! Talk to the ghost!"

Arthur sighed, weary, and shook his head. " _Ey demon_! _Fuck off_ you pretentious, self-serving bastard!"

Vivi elbowed him in the ribs. " _Art_!"

"What?" There was no joy in his joking. It was clinical, _practiced_.

"If you two are done, there's a branch in the path ahead." Lewis jerked his thumb in the direction of the split. One was a higher oath, the other, lower. "Game plan?"

"So if it's a demon, maybe we should go in pairs?"

Arthur nodded, "the safest way."

"I'll take Vi and head up," Lewis said, "Art and Mystery can take the lower."

"Fair."

"Any objections?"

"Don't _die_?" Arthur didn't sound like he was joking. _Ah well..._

"We'll _try_. No promises though." Vivi hugged Arthur and then grabbed ahold of Lewis. "C'mon Lulu! Let's get hunting!"

And they split up.

The fog that permeated the cave seemed to thicken around them, defying physics and creeping upward instead of sinking down. With it, came the insistent concern that had been hounding Vivi the whole past two days: Arthur.

He was acting weird. From oddly uninterested mornings to lackluster banter, Arthur seemed more dull and sullen than normal. Even the prospect of demons had only agitated him, instead of setting his hair on end, like it normally did. Lewis was easy to scare in bursts, screaming like his life depended on it, but Arthur fell prey to long, tension-based horror. He was prone to letting dread drown him in its briny depths. He let it weigh him down.

But now—?

He was snappy, duller around the edges, with sharp corners and a sharp temper. He flipped out when Lewis suggested they stop for food on the way to their destination, insisting that the traffic was perfect now and would congest later, going so far as to yell. And whenever he thought she wasn't looking, he would glare at Mystery as if the poor dog had done something to offend him.

Did something happen? Did he not trust her enough to tell her what was wrong?

Was she a bad friend?

She _had_ , after all, insisted that they do this. Even when Arthur had done that thing he did where he said everything was fine and that it didn't bother him but it really did bother him and it wasn't fine in the slightest, she had soldiered on. Pretended his apprehension was a yes. That Lewis's flat look wasn't a reprimand. That the Surf's Up pizza wasn't a bribe.

And— _and_ —!

He hadn't been sleeping well, yet she asked him—demanded, really, but semantics are as they are and mincing words don't make it better—to work on the van and help pack and prepare and drive and so so much more and then, when Lewis took over (he noticed how tired Arthur was and how little he'd eaten and let him take a break) she just was happy her boys were being so good and didn't think about how she was—!

" _Her_ " boys. _Hers_. Fucking _selfish_.

Who was she to claim them?

_**See, there's your issue, Vivienne: you think the world owes you everything you could ever ask for.** _

She didn't know where that thought had come from. She had blanked out while following Lewis up to the edge of the overlook, mindlessly walking, and now she could barely see the sea of stalagmites on the floor for the green fog that made her extremities numb.

_**You know...it would be so much easier if there weren't people to disappoint. People to worry about. People to desire. Isn't that sick? That you need people? So what's two less people.** _

Lewis was looking over the edge, saying something about echo and reverb and the height and she wanted—reached— _needed_ —!

_**Just a shove. One less desire. One less burden. One less possibility to disappoint.** _

Her hands lifted and there was a shocking moment of clarity. This was the demon. It was _in_ her. And it was too little too late, because her hands and Lewis's back and a shove and he and he _and he_ —!

A part of her broke when he hit the bottom. The bottom where Arthur and Mystery were. The bottom where Arthur watched Lewis _die_.

The bottom where two more people were disappointed in her.

 _ **Now**_ , the demon (what else could it be, this foul puppeteer of flesh and mind and heart) shifted her body upward and sighed as it tested her limbs, _**thank you for the lovely meal! Your despair is delightful! I'm sure Arthur's fear will be just as tasty.**_

_Please..._

_**Oh, such kind thoughts. Too late though. You've already killed. You don't get to pick and choose. But consider this,** _ the demon started back down to where Arthur was, _**they won't be disappointed in you if they're dead. They won't be a temptation if they're dead. They won't be a burden if they're dead. You won't hate them if they're dead.**_ It laughed heartily. Vivi was broken, crying. It had won.

_P.....l....ea.......s......e......_

_**I think not. This isn't a group project. This is solo mio so shut up and watch. It'll end soon.** _

She could hear Arthur trotting back up, not frantic, but calm. He was thinking aloud (or talking to Mystery, which... _fair enough_ ) as he went, voice only shaking a little bit. "I don't understand why that didn't _work_ though. That was a Dying Wish! I still remember him. Dying Wishes never _don't_ work!"

"I'm more worried about _Vivi_ ," an unknown person replied. "She was up there with him."

"You're going to want to prepare," for a man who had watched his friend die, Arthur was very calm. "I think it's near."

The demon, puppeting Vivi, rounded the corner and flung itself into Arthur's arms. " _Artie_! He just _threw_ himself down! Started saying things about how he didn't love me enough and how he couldn't handle knowing that I wasn't getting the respect I deserved and—!"

"Cut the shit and get off me, _fucker_." The bit of Vivi still awake, still aware, flickered in confusion as the demon pulled away from her friend.

Her friend who was glaring at her as though she had murdered someone.

 _ **Technically**_ , the demon helpfully reminded, _**you did!**_

"A _real_ class act, huh? _Pity_ I've been on that end before. Get out before _he_ fucking _makes_ you."

The demon looked down at Mystery. No, scratch that, _up_ at Mystery. Who was a very big kitsune. Mystery, her dog, was a kitsune. " _Wh_ —?"

"Out or _die_." There was no kindness in Arthur's frame. No joy in his eyes. No mirth in his voice. Just dead and angry and angry and angry. "I _won't_ say again."

"Am I _that_ bad at pretending?"

"I know Vivi _that_ well."

"You were _right_ ," Mystery said. Arthur laughed, dry. "I...should have listened."

"You've got about seven minutes before you leave tracks here. Please make it quick." He wouldn't _look_ at her. He wouldn't look at _her_.

She had ruined everything by being selfish, like always.

"Your kitsune is _cute_!" The demon sajd, dodging a snap of Mystery's jaws. "Didn't know _that_!"

"Vivi doesn't know quite a lot of things and, if she survives this, I _may_ have some shit to explain." Arthur watched the demon dart just out of reach and try to make a rush for him. "And if you _fucking_ touch me, _whether_ or not you're wearing Vi, I _will_ break your damn fingers."

This was an Arthur that she had never seen and yet somehow the Arthur that was there all day. Cold. Calculating. _Broken_.

The demon used strength she didn't know she had to crack Mystery on the head. This dazed him enough for it to slip by and get closer to Arthur. "I _just_ wanna hug you!"

"Touch me," he growled, "I will break your _goddamn_ fucking fingers. Don't _test_ me. I've fucking had you _inside_ me before and I won't let you _near_ me this time."

The demon smirked. "Even if it's not really _my_ fingers?"

"It's your nerve endings."

"You're so _rude_ , Artie!"

" _Don't_."

The demon brushed her hand against his vest and something feral emerged from deep inside him. He snarled and grabbed Vivi by the wrist. His grip was so _so_ strong. Behind the demon, Mystery fanned his tails and bared his fangs, unsure of how to proceed. Inside of the demon, Vivi whimpered and the demon let it surface on her face.

" _What_ ," Arthur growled, "the _fuck_ did I say?"

"You're _hurting_ her!" The demon winked as it wailed and hung limply, other hand reaching for the small switchblade she kept in her pants pocket. "Don't you _care_?"

"Not if you're piloting. _Eject_ or lose the damn wrist."

The demon smiled with Vivi's face and Arthur returned the definitely-not-a-smile. Then it flipped her switchblade up and into his armpit, tearing down and away. Blood gushed out like a fountain and, surprised, Arthur let go.

"Did you think I'd be so easily handled? Even in this one, I'm not a fucking fool, _fool_!" The demon cackled and turned to flee past the kitsune that was Mystery only to come face to snout with him. " _Whoa_! What big teeth you have!"

"All the better to free her with," Mystery snarled.

"I've got deep roots, mutt. If you can, go ahead! _That_ one doesn't have much time anyway." The demon jerked Vivi's head at Arthur, surrounded by a growing puddle of blood. "But know that ripping me out may take some of her too!"

"I'll take that chance." A flash of teeth and the demon was torn and shredded. Mystery clamped down on Vivi's soul and shook his head again and again like he was breaking the neck of a small animal he'd caught. Flecks of sickening green—the demon—floated away with each violent spasm.

Even still, Mystery took bits of Vivi too.

That's fine though. That's what she _gets_ for being selfish.

And her vision fades to greyscale and he cries in pain, the last of their group.

In her head, she can see the spectral form of Lewis, fire pouring from him. He's _so so_ angry and she doesn't blame him. In her head, she can see the ethereal form of Arthur, a waving banner of rising gold. He sees her and mouths " _next time_ " and she doesn't understand why but it makes her more sad than dying did.

Mystery screamed and roared, lost. Confused.

Vivi faded away. There was nothing left for her here.

The cave fell silent.

* * *

Arthur woke up, with a start, in a soft, warm bed.


	10. In Which Something is Horribly Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But you don't know, do you? Would you do it? Could you do it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was fun. And another *wiggly hand gesture* chapter in terms of where he is on his death count!
> 
> Preface: I tried to figure out how IV drips worked and couldn't find what I needed but...i think I did okay?
> 
> Now for a FAQ-check! This one is less frequent than most but still viable: "Why does Mystery/Duet do nothing if they can see what's happening with Arthur?! Don't they care?!"
> 
> Well, m'dudes, here's the skinny. For Duet, it's less caring and more that they've lived so long because they refuse to get involved. They lived through the witch hunts in England, they're not cotton to soothsaying if it'll get them ganked. So they watch and prophesize and so on without really acting. It's their modus operandi. As for Mystery? He's too busy hiding from Shiromori to worry about "little" things like that. He's too myopic to see the fact that shit's going down and, by the time he realizes, it's too late.
> 
> But they'll pull their heads out their asses eventually!
> 
> Warning: dissociation (literal), emotional manipulation, purposeful drug OD

Time passed, again. Arthur moved forward.

Lost more of himself.

Got closer to his goal.

Now he knew, hands down, that the Cave was best played out as-is. Lewis had to die, Arthur had to lose his arm, and Vivi had to forget. That kept Shiromori at bay, gave him the most time to live in that loop, and had the least amount of unknown variables. Mystery was still a volatile variable, Duet was still unknown and upsetting, Vivi was a happy constant. A _depressingly happy_ constant.

The loops had become more variations on a theme. The differences were minor at best and it allowed for Arthur to manipulate his ending in small nudges. This one was no different.

This one he'd try sending Vivi as a mediator. Seemed as viable an option as any.

Again. Again. _Again_.

* * *

Mystery lay curled at Vivi's feet, listening to the ambient noise of her troubled breathing. Curled up in a hospital chair—the type that _looked_ cushioned but _actually_ was a thin skin stretched over a bare skeleton of wood and metal—she slept, fitfully, as she waited. Lance had left a while back, grumbling something about work and kids and germs, so it was just the two of them and—

On the hospital bed in front of them was a pale and unconscious Arthur. Where his left arm had been was a mass of burn scars and gauze wrapped around a stump only a hand's breadth wide. An IV drip was in his right arm and there were tubes down his nose and in his mouth. The hollows where his eyes sat were deep and dark. Like the cave that had taken everything from them.

Had taken _Lewis_ from them.

And the irony was that only Mystery could remember. Lewis, in his last moments, wasted his Dying Wish on making Vivi forget the traumatic experience of witnessing his gory demise. And _Arthur_? _Surely_ the trauma from losing an arm would be enough to wipe the whole situation from his memory.

So Mystery, pretend dog, fake friend, the one _goddamn_ person who could have fucking _saved_ all three of them but didn't because he had his head _so far up his ass he could see his meals_ , sat and carried the burden alone. The burden he _deserved_.

Vivi shifted in her sleep and whimpered. Mystery stood up and placed a paw on her foot. **_Sleep sound_** , he commanded, magic swirling around her. Her cries ceased and she fell still again.

His heart broke.

It wasn't that he didn't want to help them. He _did_ , really and truly! It was _just_ —

Shiromori could find him if he let loose.

They wouldn't treat him the same if he talked. If they knew.

He _liked_ being their dog, their friend, their _family_.

So he waited. Someone else will realize ( _false_ ), someone else will act ( _false_ ), the demon won't pounce ( _false_ ), everything will be fine in the end ( _false_ ), no one will die ( _false false false!_ ).

It was _all_ his fault.

Where Arthur lay, a soft glow lifted from his prone body and drifted upwards. Mystery could see it out of the corner of his eyes, this phantom image of the bedridden man. It blinked bright eyes and took in its surroundings. Then it laughed, one dry huff of air.

" **Fair enough. It figures, doesn't it?** " The spectral image of Arthur examined where its left arm would be, prodding at a bundle of lightning in the vague shape of an arm. Then it drifted a bit, trying to get a handle on floating.

Mystery watched all of this with furrowed brows. This thing smelled like Arthur, but only _just_ so. The normal sharp citrus of Arthur's aura was replaced with a dusty and sweet overtone, the sour bitter and the sweet worse than before. Fermented. Necrotic. Was it Arthur?

The thing that looked like Arthur floated over to Vivi and watched her, a sort of soft longing in its eyes. It moved as if to pull a blanket over her shoulders and then remembered itself. Frustrated, it glared at its own hands. " ** _Good going_ , Kingsman. Fucking beefed it too early and now you're stuck. That's _one_ way to end it.** "

The steady beat of the heart monitor mirrored Mystery's own trepidation.

The thing that _might_ be Arthur finally seemed to notice him staring at it and drifted back in surprise. " **Man, can't even escape from your watch _dead_ , can I**?"

_**Unlikely**_ , Mystery replied, unwilling to let orderlies hear him speak. _**I'm very vigilant.**_

If the thing that _probably_ was Arthur was surprised by his response, it didn't show it. Instead it leaned back in the air and folded one leg over the other in a reclining motion. " **I'm assuming you can see me then?** "

_**As clear as my own snout.** _

" **Which one?** " It wasn't a joke, framed like a joke. It was tired. The smell of dust and sweet intensified.

_**You're—?**_ Mystery searched for the right words, tail thumping in frustration. **_Astral projecting?_**

" **Oh. Thought I had finally kicked it**." _Definitely_ Arthur said, face not surprised, voice _less_ so.

_**No. Your heart is still going strong,**_ he gestured at the monitor with one paw. _**Had us worried there.**_

" **I wouldn't've died.** " Arthur sounded sure of himself. " **Not on the operating table. Not on the way here. Not _yet_**." He trailed off, eyes drifting to Vivi's sleeping form. " **She's exhausted. She won't say it because she feels responsible for what happened to my arm, but she's making herself suffer by not sleeping or eating like she should**." He sighed. " **Make sure she keeps herself healthy. I'm gonna be out of commission for _about_ a week, give or take a few rounds with the fiend.** "

Mystery looked between Arthur's projection and Vivi, confused. _ **I will. Don't worry.**_

Bitter waves of dust and mulling spices _regret and pain and laughter without mirth_ slapped Mystery in the teeth. He winced, nose wrinkling. Arthur turned his gaze back to Mystery, eyes cold and calculating. Waves of gold ripped off of him, and floated upward like embers from a wildfire.

Mystery was unsure, again, if it was _really_ Arthur he was talking to or not. It _felt_ like it, but only _just_ so.

Silence settled over the two like a death-shroud, oppressive and stifling. The amber-gold flickers of _dissatisfied angry hurt tired worried fuck fuck fuck_ drifted everywhere and coated the room in a sickening sweet perversion of Arthur's natural feel. Mystery sat back down at Vivi's feet and hummed a nameless tune he had forgotten years ago.

Arthur broke the stalemate first with a noise of surprise and the smell-feel of _new yes test learn try ask yes!_ " **Hey, Mystery?** "

_**Yes?** _

" **Do me a solid, would you? Now that you're talking and all, can you get Vivi to try and talk to Lewis?** " His missing arm—made of lighting in this astral projection that felt _too much_ like him to just be that—reached forward and gestured at their sleeping friend. " **I know it sounds _wild_ but he's barely formed. It'll take him _about_ a year before he can do anything really nasty that isn't fire and he'd never hurt her. _Ever_. Even if he barely remembered himself and she didn't remember him at all.** "

Mystery balked, ears flattening. _**You want me to send her to do what now?**_

" **Don't even, _fox_.** " Arthur's voice grew dry, the amber-gold becoming a dusty burned _liar liar fuck liar don't liar impatient_. " **You and I _both_ know that Lewis is still there, in that cave, barely formed. _Dead_ , sure, but that won't stop him**." He smiled a smile that was not a smile. Amber-gold flakes burned with ice-cold _again again not again_.

_**And how do you—?** _

" **You told me once, I don't know _how_ many deaths ago, that I was related to a seer. _Cassandra_ , her name was. Now you may not remember that conversation, coz it didn't happen here and now, but you _do_ remember what Cassandra is famous for, right?** "

_**I remember.** _

" **Take that into consideration. _Also_ consider that I knew when I'm going to get out of the hospital, I know what blend of morphine I'm on, and  I'd developed a working robotic prosthetic the day _before_ that cave and it fits the _exact_ specifications of my left arm.** " Arthur bobbed in the air, more amber-gold _laugh dry not funny laugh just laugh damn you_ flaking free.

Mystery set his jaw, unsure. The sickening smell of the ashy remains of Arthur's aura was making it hard to breathe. Still...

_Coincidence_ perhaps?

A sigh, waves of _fuck of course he wouldn't believe me, why do I ever bother trying this_ bringing grapefruit and penicillin forth. " **Mystery, I'm only going to say this _once_ , in a place you _can't_ hurt me, in a setting where you _won't_ : Shiromori will find you in about three years time. And I know who Shiromori _is_ and I know that _she's_ the reason you didn't kill the demon outright when we entered in the cave. Because the more time you're _not_ a dog, the easier she can track you. So maybe _don't_ doubt me? I've grown tired of trying to convince you otherwise**."

Mystery's fur bristled. _**How do you—?!**_

" **How do you know that name?** " Arthur spoke over him, leaning back again, floating over his body. " **I've died. A _lot_. And every time I come back to the day before the expedition to the cave. And every time I try to make it right. And every time I _die_ , one way or another.**" He hummed, an exhale of energy and air. " **I've lost count of how many times. Double digits, for _sure_ , but save for that I'm drawing blanks. If I'm being honest? It's probably for the best. I can remember a few that are traumatizing _for sure_. At _least_ three with your fox-skills involved. _One_ where you take my throat out.** "

The bittersweet smell of _truth yes but liar no and pain laugh fuck laugh_ clogged Mystery's nose. He sneezed and pawed at his face.

" _ **Oh**_ ," Arthur said, disinterested and flat, " **sorry. I forgot that later iterations of me tend to give off a weird scent. I'll try and suffer somewhere else.** "

_**No!** _ Mystery barked. He took a moment to compose himself and tried again, _no. I guess I'm just a little...taken aback by all this information._

" **You always are**."

Mystery didn't pursue that line of thinking. Didn't bother chasing that answer. He just breathed deep, in, out, and continued. _**You want me to have Vivi go visit Lewis's ghost? In the cave where she saw him die?**_

" **She doesn't remember. It was his Dying Wish and you know it.** "

Mystery fought the urge to growl. _ **So send her to the cave where her friend lost his arm, away from said friend who is in recovery, and you expect her to just do it?**_

" _ **Hardly**_!" No mirth, the way Arthur laughed. " **But if _anyone_ can convince her to do it before I wake up, extremely drugged and very _very_ much in pain in about seven hours, it's _you_**."

_**What would Lance think?** _

" ** _Whatever_ he wants. She's an adult and also _not_ his kid**."

_**They both care for you the same though.** _

" **And _she_ needs to talk to Lewis** ," Arthur insisted. His left arm crackled and quaked with unfettered energy, leaving the smell of ozone in its wake. " **He won't hurt her. He _never_ does. _I'm_ his Obsession, not her. He still thinks the world of her.** "

That was worrying, the way he was doggedly chasing that idea. That Vivi should talk to Lewis. That it would fix ' _everything_ '. That that was the answer. Mystery chewed on that knowledge with trepidation.

_**What if she refuses.** _

" **Mention her missing memories. Tell her she'll find answers in that cave, in the lower portion. That she'll remember if she goes. That she'll understand what happened**." His voice was bland but the undertones of tangerine _speed desire need need please_ were potent.

_**That's manipulative.** _

" **That's _life_.** "

Mystery fell silent again, thinking. The overwhelming presence of whatever was going on with Arthur's aura was making it hard to breathe. Still he endured. He couldn't let on that he was suffering. Not when Arthur was down and arm and a friend and Vivi was down a whole person in her memory.

Eventually, after what felt like an eternity, he nodded. _ **I'll convince her.**_

" _ **Thank**_ **you**." Insincere. Pleased. Bitter.

_**Just...rest, okay?** _

" **Can do _nothing_ but!** "

_**Just rest.** _

Arthur rolled his eyes and sighed, the drama king.

Mystery had a bad feeling about this but who was he to judge?

He promised, after all.

* * *

Arthur blinked back a morphine-induced haze and looked around the hospital room. The heart monitor beeped gently, reminding him he was alive, if only for now. The smell of medical sterility made his stomach roll. His _everything_ hurt, including the arm that was no longer there. Phantom wrist pains crackled forth. It sucked dick.

The lingering smell of petrol and oil was an indication that Lance had been there recently, if not just taking a bathroom break. The missing smell of wood smoke and wet dog meant that Mystery was upholding his end of things.

_Good_. That meant that he trusted him.

( _He won't ever trust you. He just sees the use in you. Is afraid of your power._ )

Not moving for fear of agitating the burns on his stump, Arthur sighed and reached for the remote for his bed on his right side. He inclined the bed a bit and breathed easier, able to see the room.

It was blank and lifeless.

( _Just like you._ )

On the TV—a small CRT so badly desaturated it may have well been black and white—was a rerun of _Sabrina the Teenage Witch_. It mocked him, Salem saying something to Zoe, her replying with a catty retort. That was a supernatural normalcy that he could never achieve. He clenched his right hand and winced, aware of the IV in his forearm. The needle scraped bone when he moved. It _sucked_.

( _You deserve it. Even now.)_

When was Vivi getting back? The cave wasn't that far and Arthur was very sure of Mystery's ability to manipulate others. She should've had her answers a _long_ while ago.

So where _was_ she?

As if summoned, the door to Arthur's room flew open and a tear-stained Vivi marched up to him. He gave her a weak, crooked smile, and lifted his hand in greeting, ignoring the pain of the IV.

" _Hey_."

"Shut up." Arthur blinked, surprised at the venom in her tone. "Don't _fucking_ talk to me."

"I—?"

" _Shut_. Up." She repeated, slamming her hands on the end of his bed. This startled him enough to spike his monitor. "You don't get to say a word. Just _shut up_."

Vivi exhaled and paced around the room, her hand combing through her hair and clutching at her sweater. "You killed him. You _killed_ him and he was _so_ important to me, to _us_. You _killed_ him and you don't _care_!"

_Oh! Okay. If that's how you wanna play, Pepper, then so be it. Strike this off a list of viable endings._

"You-you _pushed_ him and he—and _he_! He _hates_ you, Arthur, and he has every _goddamn_ right to!" She was crying again. There was no better tool for manipulation than death. He'd have to remember that for later. "And he's _hurting_ and _even_ if I don't remember much, I remember us being _happy_!"

She wouldn't let him talk? _Fine_. She wanted to blame him? _Fine_. _He_ had an easy-access reset button.

_Game set and match, Lewis. Fuck._

"And you _ruined_ it because you were _jealous_!" Here Arthur laughed, his ribs protesting his movement. One soft huff, incredulous. How fucking _dare_ he? "And—I won't be here...not if you can kill a person so easily. Mystery tried to convince me that he didn't see the whole truth but, _goddammit_ , I'm _tired_ of being lied to. I'm tired of the _lies_ and _manipulation_ , Arthur. So I'm done. _Good_ -fucking- _by_."

Then she left and Arthur was alone. Alone. _Alone_.

_Well_ , he thought, _time to give it another go. One more time won't kill me, will it?_ Another dry laugh.

He reached up with his remaining hand and adjusted the drip valve on his IV, popping the damn thing _right_ off.

_Nothing like a good morphine overdose to end a loop._ He leaned back and sighed. _Could rip my stitches and ruin my surgery but, honestly? Much more fun to do this. At least now I get to go out high as shit._

_I've always been sensitive to morphine anyway._

* * *

Arthur woke up, with a start, in a soft, warm bed.


	11. In Which Fears are Realized

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not freaking out! But it feels like time is running out, how did this shit come about? I'm not freaking out! But I'm afraid, afraid of losing you!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *ding dong ding dong* Climax part one of three!
> 
> There's some funky stuff with narration and time and so on. The barriers between the various loops are unraveling and they're untethering every memory that is and was and would have been. WHOOP!!!!!
> 
> Um...aside from some weird dissonance and so on, I think this one reads okay?
> 
> FAQ-check is on hiatus now, as most things will be answered in the next three chapters! Better still, the climactic rise and end are there for two more chapters, then an epilogue! Your earned happy ending!
> 
> I'm so proud of me! :D
> 
> Warning: traumatic memories, violence (per the norm), some heavy disassociation, and depersonalization out the ass.

Vivi sighed, the bags under her eyes dark and weary. She stacked a comic atop the older tradeback without thought. Behind her, Chloe watched, disinterested.

_Arthur, eyes wild. Behind him, ~~(someone so important how could you gave ever forgotten him like this?!)~~ , prone, blood on his forehead. Bruises, finger-shaped, spaced, around his neck. Arthur, piece of wood in his hand, blood on the front. Her vision is blurry. She tastes pennies. He lifts the wood and brings it down and—!_

Vivi dropped the book she was holding, the large hardcover creating a loud noise. A blush crept across her cheeks but she picked it up and continued shelving.

No. _No_. She was _here_ , in _the Tome Tomb_ , shelving for Duet. Chloe was behind her, slacking off. Arthur was still researching places to find his lost friend, the one she couldn't remember. Mystery was with him, saying something about fear and protection.

Her head hurt.

She shelved more books, eyes downcast. If she didn't talk to anyone, she wouldn't have to explain that her friend was missing an arm and that her apartment felt so empty without him and ~~(why don't you remember through the static and fire?)~~ no one there to liven it up. She wouldn't have to wave off concern and worry that was misplaced because they didn't fucking _know_ her, why would they _give_ a shit except to make her life their hope porn for some fucked-up reason that probably had to do with general ennui.

The world swam and spun. Her mouth was filled with bitter liquid.

_~~(Love, darling, sweetheart, missing piece)~~ grabs ahold of her, eyes blank and tinged green. Lifts her up, above his head. Calls her names. Blames her for everything. Throws her and the ground rushes up faster than it has any right too and there are spikes that—!_

No. _No_! Here. In the _Tomb._

But even Chloe noticed that time, as she dozed off into...it wasn't trauma, nor a memory ~~(they were you just have lost them there in the warp and weft of it all)~~ but something _more_ than a dream for sure.

 _Maladaptive_ , definitely. Bullshit, _for sure_.

 _Fuck_.

Duet came up close to Vivi and placed one of their hands on her shoulder. Lately ~~(recently, why was this you know this why why why)~~ they had been keeping their distance from her. Almost as if her very face brought them pain. And, considering the prescription ibuprofen bottles in the employee bathroom, that wouldn't be too far off.

"Chloe will watch the front," they said, voice low. "Come to the back with me. I feel it is time I speak up about matters. Your dog made me promise."

Confused, Vivi followed behind them, blankly noting the worried look Chloe wore. Chloe was _never_ worried about anything other than herself. It was her prerogative as a teenager. But here she was, sending Duet to talk some sense into Vivi.

Fucking _weird_.

The back room, the one that _all_ employees were allowed into as opposed to the one that was _Duet only_ , was stocked with all sorts of tchotchkes and artifacts. Some of them were easily recognizable as ancient items of great value while others were more obscure. A cast-iron pot of tea steeped over a low-set crimson candle, the warm smell of ginger and cloves and allspice wafting throughout the small space. Two chairs sat across from each other at a low table. Duet gestured and took the other seat. Vivi acquiesced and sat down.

" _So_ ," they began. Then they stopped, pinched the bridge of their nose, and started anew, "there are _many_ things I haven't told you. Or rather, things _you don't know_. Whether through omission or _outright_ lying, you have been lied to." Duet poured them both a cup of the aromatic tea and slid one to Vivi. "Drink," they prompted, "it will help with the nausea and headaches."

_Arthur looks angry, teeth bared at Duet, who whispers behind the counter to him. He laughs but is not happy. Meanwhile, she's talking to ~~(how could you forget him what is wrong with you?!)~~ and he says something so funny she can't help but cry. She's crying. Arthur is angry. She's crying._

Vivi sipped the tea and it chased the nausea and pain and tears and feeling of ~~(loss missing why is he not here)~~ _something_ away.

" _Better_?" Duet knew the answer but they asked anyway. Vivi nodded. "It helps me too. Remembering _hurts_. It _never_ gets easier. Or rather," they pause and correct themself, "it gets _easier_ , but not fast enough to notice."

"Remembering?" She didn't understand many things about Duet but this was...personal and she didn't—didn't— _she_...

~~(Was this what they felt? This remembering but not? Pain? Fuck.)~~

" _Time_ is sick. It is worst around your friend who is...was... _will be_...he is losing himself. Now I don't like making predictions so _precise_. There is much to be had from free will and _giving_ answers changes that but...," they fiddled with their cup of tea, taking a sip and then running their fingers along the lip of it. "There is a time for action. That time passed again and again and I didn't act. Won't act. _Haven't_ acted. Now I _will_ act. Now I will speak up."

_~~(He's right there, in pictures all around you)~~ is right behind her, running fast. There's Mystery, nose to the ground. They're tracking the thing that took over Arthur. The thing that took over ( ~~he's hidden behind magenta fire and it burns her heart, she cries).~~ The thing that took over her. And they run and they chase and Lance with a gun and it goes off and Arthur falls with a smile—!_

She sipped the tea. The waves ~~(not memories, but something similar that sets her teeth on edge)~~ are coming faster now, harder to ignore. She wanted to ~~(take Arthur by his head and yell and hug and kiss and tell him he's an idiot and ask him why)~~ stop all of it because it's ~~(been three goddamn years but it feels like so much more and her head is splitting)~~ painful.

She doesn't ~~(remember)~~ understand _why_.

Duet hummed, a nonchalant and wholly useless noise. One note, low, soft. "The cards have read _many_ things. From deaths to pain to love and laughter. This time the cards call out confused. Death, the Wheel, the Tower, all reversed. Again. Again. _Again_. No matter what I ask. There is no end to it all. And it's tiring, for _both_ of us." They sip their tea, pained. Vivi could tell it was similar to her own enjoyment of the soothing beverage. A way to dull the pain of ~~(remembering)~~ who knows what. "Your friend, Kingsman, didn't heed my warning. _Fair enough_. He was far gone by the time I spoke with him. It's only fair. _Or_ , no," they doubled back, "it _was_ fair. Now it's only ignorant and petty."

Vivi tried to parse what was being said. A lot of it seemed like gibberish, though she knew a bit about tarot reading. Death, the Wheel of Fortune, the Tower. All three had reversed meanings that meant resisting change.

"Anyway, I _did_ promise your dog I would talk about it to you. That I would stop withholding things because I am afraid." They took a sip of tea and seemed to steel themself. " _So_ here we are."

" _Here_ we are," Vivi agreed without knowing what she was agreeing to.

~~(Again. Again. Again.)~~

"Let me start— _wait_ , no—let me _continue_ as such: this is only a warning. Not advice, not a path to take, but a warning. Things I have noticed and things I _will_ have noticed. Take it as it is." Duet continued, cryptic. "Your friend is shredding himself to tatters with every reset he incurs. His fate is _his_ fault but he has forgotten the beginning. You must remind him of his humanity. You must make him remember being human."

"How—?"

"The dog can help. As can the ghost. In two weeks time, your friend will have found the one he was looking for because that one is strong enough to manifest a mansion of spectral terrors. Enter, eyes wide and senses cast the same, and take back what was Wished away. But know that remembering is _pain_ and it _won't_ get any easier." They sipped their tea, the last of it leaving behind a grim portent patterned skull in the leaves at the bottom.

Vivi opened her mouth. Then closed it.

Better to not ~~(remember)~~ know.

~~(Not now. Not yet.)~~

A ringing ~~(voice singing in pretty Spanish and Portuguese and he's so soft learning words that mean love and he smiles and she hears his heart beat one last time in pain)~~ echoed in her ears. She ~~(screamed out his name one last time, afraid for him, terrified of him)~~ frowned. She ~~(wanted so badly to hold him and kiss him and yell at both of them until they apologized to each other)~~ sipped her tea.

The leaves at the bottom of her cup portrayed ~~(an alpaca, a hamster, a turtle, hand in hand)~~ nothing of interest. She dumped the cup out and turned to Duet. "Thank you for the tea." ~~(Thank you for the safety, the guidance, the attention.)~~ "I'll see you late, Duet."

~~(Will see, will have seen, saw.)~~

* * *

The mansion that awaited them at the end of their trip was lavish, purple, and  _assuredly_ haunted. Even as Arthur, a resigned bleakness to his face that Vivi had ~~(watched morph into pain and anger and fear)~~ never seen before, looked impressed.

"He really grew, didn't he," she thought she heard him say.

~~(Or maybe he didn't but many tries ago did and she feels the pennies against her tongue but he's there and so is that one buried behind behind behind!)~~

"Looks spooky!" She tried to get him to react, to interact, to be there with her but he ~~(grimaced and screamed against blood and teeth and bones)~~ smiled and gestured with his one flesh arm.

"After _you_!" And she ~~(fool, to trust him here, where he knows that you're safer than he is, run before it gets bad just run!)~~ walked in. The foyer was lavish, chandeliers and candlesticks lit with a ghostly purple flame. Suits of armor with spectral eyes and portraits of long-dead people that grimaced and grinned, ghost abound here. ~~(But where was he? Where was the master of the house? Where was that one with eyes and hair and love?!)~~ A low him started and spectral things came forth and herded them to a hallway with the portraits, which opened into a trap door that dropped them past mirrors that reflected ~~(all the pasts you'd ever experienced, and the memories within them)~~ nothing. Arthur looked bored as he drifted away from her and Mystery and they set about to ~~(fool around)~~ try and find answers.

Duet's warning a few weeks prior naggled something in the back of Vivi's head. She tossed the words around in the relative silence of the manor for a moment before she asked, "did you make Duet promise to tell me things? _Like_ , the future and stuff?"

Mystery her ~~(loyal liar)~~ dog's ears shot up and his tail quirked weird. "Not that I _recall_?" He, too seemed ~~(to be remembering other times and other lives)~~ confused. "What did they say? Duet is... _trustworthy_..."

She frowned, "something about a ghost, about Arthur, about _humanity_? They said time was... _sick_?" ~~(Sicker still as time passes, here he comes, the one you need.)~~ "That you and this ghost and I would all have to remind Arthur how to be human. We'd have to... _save_ him..."

Mystery frowned and ~~(roaring, grew in size and screamed and tore and fire burned and she couldn't help anyone)~~ sat still in the armor hall. " _How would_ —but _why_ would they say that? And why _this_ ghost? Why _this_ place?"

"What do you know?"

He met her eyes, confused. "Something is _wrong_ with Arthur but... _how_ would—?"

"Vivi!" Arthur howled as he ran full-tilt down the hallway towards them, " _incoming_!"

Behind him was ~~(oh god him it's him take him in your arms and cry and kiss and)~~ a skull-faced ghost in a fine suit with a purple cravat. His hair was a magenta flame in the style of a fine pompadour and his feet didn't touch the ground as he chased doggedly after ~~(killer murderer poor, poor)~~ Arthur.

Arthur, who passed Vivi and Mystery and made tracks for the front door. Mystery, who stared at the ghost in abject horror but bolted soon after. Vivi, who stood, stock-still, a hole in her gut calling out to this ~~(it's finally him I'm so sorry I forgot)~~ spirit.

The spirit, who stopped dead in front of her and stared, hands trembling. He reached up for ~~(his heart)~~ a large metal locket hovering above his left breast-pocket and it hovered to her. _Beckoning_.

~~(Please. Open me. Please.)~~

And her own hands trembled as she touched the locket and it opened to reveal a picture of her and ~~(god he was so happy then)~~ a man she didn't—no, _wait_ , she _remembered_ him. That was—

 _Lewis_ , reaching out as he fell to his death. _Lewis_ , looking her in the eyes as blood flew from the spire impaling him right through his heart. _Lewis_ , dying and Wishing for her to _please, please forget!_

A dozen times, like film layered over itself.

~~(Remembering hurt.)~~

~~(Not all, but enough. Enough.)~~

She cried, falling to her knees. " _Lewis_?"

Lewis's ghost gave her a jawless approximation of a smile and retrieved his heart from her lax grip. " **Don't worry. I'm not leaving again.** " Then his eyes locked on something behind her. Some _one_ behind her. " ** _You_**!"

"She _remembers_ you!" Arthur replied and Vivi wanted to ~~(tell them both they're being stupid because they've died so many times before)~~ _cry_. His tone was dry, no joy. He should be _happy_ they found him! He'd been looking for _so_ long, even after _she_ forgot! " _Please_! Let this one be it!"

" **You _killed_ me, Kingsman! You don't get off scot-free just because you threw her my way! Did you think I'd take _her_ instead of _you_? That I'd blame _her_ instead?!** " Lewis sounded so angry. _So_ furious. She ~~(didn't blame him but stop please this doesn't end well)~~ couldn't move. She was ~~(being dumb get up and do something)~~ paralyzed with shock.

" _No_ , not _killed_. You _never_ killed her! Turned her _against_ me, sure, but _I_ learned!" Arthur was— _was_ —!

Lewis laughed and it was ~~(the same as Arthur, hollow and mirthless)~~ empty. " ** _Turn_ her? A murderer doesn't _get_ to pick sides, Arthur! Doesn't get to play the defendant! Guilty _as charged_!** "

Mystery planted himself between Arthur and Lewis, fangs bared. " _Listen_ , Lewis—"

" **Shut up, _mutt_!** " A wave of magenta flame slammed Mystery into the wall and this broke Vivi from her stasis. She dashed forward and cradled his head. His pupils were blown and he seemed dazed. Her own temper flared. " ** _My_ beef is with this _pendejo_!** "

"Hear me out! It was all planned, plotted to the finest detail! If I didn't _comply_ , if I _fought_ the demon, _didn't_ go, _stayed_ with Mystery," Arthur was babbling, hands gesturing about wildly to illustrate his points. " _Everything_ is wrong but _I can fix it_! I can make it _better_! _She_ remembers, you're _here_ , we can make it _better_!"

" _ **Murderer**_!" Lewis screams ~~(as he's thrown against a wall, Arthur with green eyes laughing, unfettered. Vivi can do nothing but watch as Lewis is killed by this thing that is not Arthur but it turns to her and says—)~~ as a flare of magenta fire rips forth and heads for Arthur.

Arthur who—

It slams into a wall with a loud cracking noise and the resounding reverberation is enough to make Vivi's teeth rattle and ache with ozone and gasoline and flames and remembering _more_ than before.

Lewis steps back, confused, but a blast of amber electricity slams into his chest and pushes him against a wall with the strength and finesse of a hand. He gasps out for air he doesn't need and the hand—because it has four fingers and a thumb and is large but _distinctly_ a hand—grips his heart between thumb and forefinger and squeezes. Lewis cries out in pain and Vivi whips her head to glare at—

Arthur laying down, face-first, and above him is a creature, spirit, monster made of lightning and a timelapse overlay of Arthur in pain and dying again and again and _again_. It's arm, left, is crushing Lewis's heart ( _Anchor_ , now, she can remember what he called it when she met him back right after his death and before this meeting and after Arthur died _and_ —!) with no qualms about it.

The monster howls and Vivi knows, with _all_ she remembers, with the Now that Duet talked about ruptured and spilling out memories, that _this_ was Arthur. _Is_ Arthur. What's _left_ , that is, of Arthur.

( _Your friend is shredding himself to tatters with every reset he incurs_.)

It makes sense in hindsight. In context. In real-time.

Then, eyes wild and sparking, the thing that was Arthur turned it's face to Vivi and screamed, **I DID WHAT WAS BEST FOR US! WHY DON'T YOU _GET_ THAT?!**

What was once Arthur cried and the mansion shook. **IT'S NOT _FAIR_!**

The thing that was Arthur wept, **I TRIED _SO_ HARD BUT _NOTHING_ EVER WORKED AND EVERYONE _HATED_ ME FOR IT!**

The thing that was Arthur dropped Lewis's Anchor and stared at Mystery, who was shaking himself off and standing up. **_NOW_ DO YOU BELIEVE ME, MYSTERY?**

**_NOW_ ARE YOU GOING TO ACT? _SAVE THEM_? SAVE _YOURSELF_? OR WILL YOU _DIE_ A _DOG_?!**

Vivi did the only thing she could think of; she grabbed Lewis's Anchor, and _ran_.


	12. In Which Things Get Worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feels like I'm losing my mind! Feels like a dream of me all of the time, baby!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more for the ending, then the epilogue. Or, if you like, one for the climax and then the final ending.
> 
> Then some bonus ones, maybe.
> 
> Last note before I get into shit: there are two chapters left. Please don't push me. I make this shit for free. Let me do it on my own time.
> 
> Warning: body horror descriptions, manipulation, and disassociation of the time sort.

Lewis was vaguely aware of the feeling of being carried. Of being safe.

Arthur was— _was_ —!

~~(Grinning crying laughing green in his eyes his skin arm outstretched missing metal.)~~

Arthur was...

That _couldn't've_ been Arthur. Arthur was his murderer his ~~(friend who tried again and again to save him to change things to—)~~ killer. His friend. _Once_. Before he'd ~~(been possessed)~~ _killed him._

But that _thing_. _That_ thing was _everything_ the three of them had _ever_ wanted to find and _everything_ they _never_ should have. Something dark and dangerous and tortured.

It _couldn't_ be Arthur.

Arthur was ~~(kind and smart and willing to throw down if need be and good with machines and always there for them)~~ on the floor, out cold, that _thing_ standing over him.

That _thing_ had knocked Lewis clean out, one blow, crushing his Anchor. That _thing_ had hurt him _on purpose_. Arthur would _never_ —

But he _had_...

_He_ —!

Lewis surged back into his body, fire reflexively rushing to protect himself and Vivi _and_ —!

Nothing. It was him and Vivi, in the painting hallway, without that thing that was not Arthur. Without—

" _ **Mystery!**_ " He searched, whipping around to try and find their dog, their friend ~~(their protector)~~. He _wasn't_ —!

" _Calm down_ , he's gonna be _fine_." Vivi was panting heavily, tired as fuck, but otherwise fine. _Better_ than fine, even. Her eyes were _bright_ and wide and sparkling. Like she regained something _none_ of them knew she lost. Not even _her_. ~~(Her memories. Her past selves. All of them.)~~ "Big boy has some pep left in him, Ghost Pepper." That gave her pause, a moment of realization. Then her eyes lit up brighter, "oh _fuck_! _Ghost Pepper_! That's fucking _hilarious_!"

Lewis was taken aback. Almost indignantly, he bristled and flared up. " **Now is _not_ the time for jokes, Vivi! That _thing_ is out there, _hurting_ Mystery, and it could _kill_ Arthur!** " He pointed down the portrait hallway, where the sound of screaming and anger could be heard.

"Funny coming from someone who wants him _dead_ ," Vivi didn't move, picking dirt from under her nails. She gave Lewis a wry smirk when he turned confused sockets to her.

" **I _didn't_ — _not_ like— _he_ —!**"

"Chill a bit, Lew," she scoffed and stood up, dusting off the knees of her pants. With a heavy groan she stretched out the kinks in her back and exhaled. "I'm just yanking your chain! Mystery has his big-bad kitsune powers and Artie won't get hurt. I _think_..." She chewed on her lip. "I... _think_ that was Arthur. That big...scary thing made of lightning and _pain_ and stuff? I _remember_...a lot of things...things that happened but... _didn't_? Things that _have_ and _shouldn't've_ happened."

Lewis took pause at this, head buzzing with ~~(remember, you asshole, you fucking dink who can't even be bothered to ask his friend if he's okay)~~ confusion. " ** _Wait_ , what's this about a kitsune?**"

" _Mystery_? He's a kitsune." Vivi looked confused. Then concerned. " _Right_ , you won't remember that. Or you don't know that. Or... _not yet_...?" She hummed again. "Time stuff. Or... _memory_ stuff...I _dunno_..."

" **And Arthur is...?** "

"Lew, _buddy_ , Arthur is... _very sick_. Or, at least, _this_ version of Arthur is. And I think _this_ version of Arthur is _every_ version of Arthur. _Or_ this version of Arthur has _been_ every version of Arthur past and present, only because he's been _in_ every version of Arthur?" Vivi chewed on her lip for half another second then looked down the hall at the paintings. "Hey Judge! Luchador! Lady! Priest!" The four portrait ghosts poked their heads out and looked at her in confusion. "You think you can get the suits of armor and some of the residents to hold off the big yellow fucker in the foyer? Me and the master of the house need to have a chat with the kitsune currently holding it off."

The Priest frowned, " **why should _we_ help _you_?** "

"Because I asked _nicely_?"

" **Because the master of the house _told_ you to listen to her?** " Lewis threatened.

The Priest balked and turned to his companions, " **and you?** " The Lady, Luchador, and Judge were already gone. He sighed heavily and disappeared as well. Vivi beamed at Lewis.

"Way to flex those master muscles Lulu!" Vivi hugged his broad shoulders and his hair flared in embarrassment.

" ** _I_ —what do you need _Mystery_ for?** " He wouldn't himself get distracted by... _Vivi_...and her... _weird_ actions...

" _The dog can help. As can the ghost_ ," Vivi put on a fake accent, gesticulating wildly as if conducting an orchestra. "Duet knew _something_! Or, they _know_ something? Your tenses kinda get fucked up when time and space are relative and nothing matters!"

Lewis frowned, " ** _Duet_? Your _boss_?** "

"They're _kinda_ a soothsayer? They know a lot about Mystery so I can _assume_ they're old at least. They can...see... _time_?" She made a noise of noncommittal confusion. "But _either_ way, we need to convene and talk our issues out. _All_ of them. From _your_ death to _Mystery's_ lies to Arthur's _everything_. _To_...whatever it is that's going on with _me_...whatever... _my_ damage is..." Her cheer wavered and Lewis wanted to ~~(pick her up and worry about the deaths the pain the everything)~~ make her feel better.

" **Vivi...!** "

" _Nevertheless_!" She laughed heartily, "Duet _also_ said that we had to ' _take back what was Wished away_ ' and that ' _remembering is pain and won't get any easier_ ' and _hoo_ boy, they _weren't_ kidding about _that_!" One of the smaller Deadbeats darted up and grabbed ahold of Lewis's sleeve.

**_The fox-dog is near! Shall we run?!_ **

" **No, we _want_ him here. Don't fret.** " Lewis patted it on the head. It purred and darted off to spread the word to other Deadbeats. Vivi looked up at him in confusion and he flared in embarrassment again. " **The Deadbeat wanted me to know Mystery was on his way.** "

"Oh _yeah_! They're called Deadbeats! I _forgot_ that!" Vivi frowned again, "along with _other_ things..."

Before Lewis could ask more questions however, a large, six-tailed beast dashed into the hallway, blood dripping from its muzzle. With it came the smell of wood-smoke and foxfire. Seeing Vivi and Lewis, it skidded to a halt and barked out, "Vivi! _Lewis_!"

" _Eyy_! The man of the hour! Welcome back!" Vivi smiled and it was ~~(fake and familiar and hated and he wanted to understand but he couldn't)~~ _weird_. "So I remember _everything_ and _that_ kinda sucks but the upside is Lew has the residents keeping Arthur at bay! We have time to plan!"

The mansion shook and the thing that might be Arthur screamed and raged. **THIS ISN'T FAIR! _NONE_ OF IT IS!**

"Less time than I thought, but _regardless_!" Vivi clapped gently, "let's do it to it!"

The beast—Vivi called it Mystery but that _can't_ be correct—growled and its tails whipped about. " _Planning_? Are you _mad_?!"

" _Buddy_ , Mystery, my friend and _pal_ , I have _about_ a dozen versions of me smacking around my head right now and it's getting _really_ hard to parse this version of my life from the others so...," Vivi grimaced at...Mystery ~~(that was him, a dozen versions of him hazing back and forth over his sight and his Anchor hurt so much but he couldn't—couldn't—!)~~ who backed down, his muzzle bared in a grimace as well.

"... _sorry_..." a scream and more smashing echoed through the hallway. Mystery winced and hunkered down next to Vivi, " _versions_ of—? Does this have to do with Duet?"

" _Time is sick_! Let's get to planning, assholes!" The rippling anxiety coming off of Vivi was enough to set Lewis's teeth on edge. His hair flickered, uncertainty.

"May I decompress first? I have someone who I'd _rather_ —"

" _Yeah_ , the less likely it is for Shiromori to find us, the _better_." The beast's six tails puffed then whipped about in agitation.

" _How_ —?!"

Vivi grinned, if only by facial location, and tapped her forehead with one finger. "A dozen or so _'me's_ , a _dozen_ or so situations where I got to meet Shiromori _firsthand_! Lemme tell you," she steepled her fingers and hissed, "she's _very_ pretty but her attitude leaves something to be desired. _As_ does her shears...in...Arthur's...chest..." Her 'smile' dropped and the light started to leave her eyes again.

Mystery yipped, "her _what_?! In his _what_ now?!" With the shock, a wave of foxfire ripped out of him and he shrank down into the recognizable form of...Vivi's... _dog_...

And Lewis remembered. _Everything_.

Vivi wasn't kidding about the pain. It fucking hurt. _A fucking lot_.

And _holy shit_ she wasn't kidding about the feeling of a dozen some-odd versions of yourself in your head being just _absolutely_ garbage.

" ** _Fuck_! Shit god _damn_ fuck!** " He slammed a palm against his skull and hissed in pain, fire flaring upward and then settling down to its normal style. " **You were _not_ pulling my leg when you said that remembering would hurt! And also, Mystery? _Maybe_ don't fucking omit information like this from now on? For the good of, yanno, _everyone_?!** "

"Oh _hey_! Welcome back, Pepper!" Vivi smiled a smile that was not a smile and it was familiar and he recognized it.

" **Not _happy_ , but _back_ ,**" Lewis admitted. " **And I have a _fucking_ brutal headache, _that's_ for sure.** "

Mystery looked back and forth between the two, confused. "I think I'm missing something here..."

"Due time, I think. But definitely _eventually_." Vivi held up another finger, "assuming that Mystery knows _almost nothing_ , we _still_ need to plan. We need to... _what_ was it that Duet said? ' _You must remind him of his humanity. You must make him remember being human._ ' Yep. That's it!"

" ** _Eugh_?** " Lewis grimaced, " **but also ' _remind him of his humanity_ '?**"

"Whatever it is that's out there, _whatever_ is smashing up the foyer, that _was_ Arthur once! We need to remind him about that!" Mystery continued to look between the two as they went back and forth, spitballing ideas without him. The chemistry was nice to see again, but it was concerning what they were talking about.

" **So _what_ , we _sit_ on him until he talks out his feelings? He's...made of _pain_ and _electricity_! Not even the armory can stand up to the energy he's giving off right now!** "

Vivi's eyes gleamed, " _Armory_? As in _weapons_ and so on?!"

" ** _Yeah_?** " Lewis's skull bobbed sideways in confusion, " **I built this place to mirror the haunted places we dreamed of seeing. The best trap for intrepid ghost hunters. For people looking for someone _lost_.** " He gave the best approximation of a jawless grin and balked at Vivi's excited response. " _ **What?**_ "

"Haunted mansions have _spooky shit_. Spooky shit used to _bind_ and _restrain_ ghosts like _whatever_ Arthur's become! _So._..," she drawled off, letting Lewis form the connection.

" ** _Oh_! Hey, Mystery?** "

"Huh?"

" **You know any binding spells for shit that big?!** "

He got what they were going for. A big grin split his doggy muzzle. "I _think_ so."

"Then let's sit on our nerd and talk it out!"

* * *

The thing that was Arthur screamed and lashed out against everything that came his way. Flashing forward were faces of his every death, one at a time, like a grim PowerPoint. As suits of animated armor battered against his legs, he slammed his fists forward and gushes of lightning arced forward into the others. **NOTHING I DID _EVER_ MATTERED! IN THE END, _EVERYONE_ LEAVES!**

Another wave of spirits rushed forward to take their brethrens' place **_EVERY KINDNESS I DID_ WAS MET WITH RAGE AND PAIN AND DECEIT BECAUSE THE WORLD IS _UNFAIR_ AND _CRUEL_!**

One of the portraits rushed forward, the Luchador, and tried to suplex what was once Arthur. It didn't work, but the attempt was admirable. The thing that had been Arthur screeched and threw it against a wall, leaving it a collapsed shell of itself. **_NO ONE_ CARES BUT _ME_ AND IT'S _MY JOB_ TO MAKE THEM HAPPY! IT'S _ALL_ I'M GOOD FOR!**

"You're selling yourself short, Arthur. _Try_ not to do that." The thing that was Arthur whipped around and looked at Mystery, who was sitting, smugly, against a doorframe.

**NOT EVEN YOU! _LIAR_! _FAKER_! YOU _LET_ THEM DIE! LET _ME_ DIE! _AGAIN_ AND AGAIN _AND AGAIN_!**

"Come get me. We're all waiting for you!" He turned tail and started running away.

**_COWARD_! COME _BACK_ IF YOU'RE SO DAMN _SURE_ OF YOURSELF! COME BACK HERE AND _DIE THEIR DEATHS FOR ME_! YOU _DESERVE_ AS MUCH!**

" _Make me!_ "

The thing chased him through the hallways, its morbid form twisting and turning as it warped to fit within each door. Every door meant a new face meant a new death was shown. A knife in the eye, a face burned beyond recognition, screaming and drowning, and many more. The thing that had been Arthur howled and screeched, lightning arcing off of every angle and bit. It tore its way through every barrier presented before itself. Even still, Mystery was _just_ out of reach.

**_HOLD STILL_! AT LEAST GO WITH _DIGNITY_ YOU FUCKING _MONSTER_!**

"Well aren't _you_ one to talk?!" The thing halted and bubbled, death after death after death, confused. Vivi was there. And so was Lewis. As was Mystery.

Betrayal flashed across many of its faces. **DO YOU _KNOW_ WHAT I DID? WHAT I _WOULD_ DO? _ALL_ FOR YOU! _ALL FOR YOU!_**

"Don't _lie_. You've forgotten why this all started a long time ago, _didn't_ you? How many years have you been fighting for the sense of clarity?" Vivi's voice was sad, pitying, and it caused ripples of anger and death to wave across the thing's surface.

**I _DIED_! FOR _YOU_! FOR _HIM_! _BY YOUR HANDS_ NO LESS! YOU DON'T _GET_ TO JUDGE ME! _NO ONE_ DOES!**

" ** _Arthur_ , just talk. Just sit down and _talk_.** " Lewis reached out, palms outward. The thing writhed and arced with lightning. Pain. It screamed, incoherent.

**YOU DON'T GET TO _JUDGE_! YOU DON'T GET TO _CHOOSE_! YOU _KILLED_ ME! _ALL OF YOU DID_!**

"I understand, we all do. We did _so many bad things_ and they hurt you, _we_ hurt you. You _need_ to talk though. Lashing out will help _no one_."

**IT WILL DAMN WELL _MAKE ME FEEL BETTER_!**

"But it'll fix _nothing_!"

**IF YOU _DIE_ I'LL BE _FREE_! IF I GET IT _RIGHT_ I'LL BE _FREE_! IF IT'S _FIXED_ I'LL BE _FREE_!**

" **Then let us help.** "

**YOU _WON'T_ HELP! YOU _NEVER_ DO!**

"Well this time we're _gonna_. _Now_!" Vivi gave a cue to someone just out of sight and then a large circle flared to life with red and blue and magenta energy, blinding everyone for a moment. It smelled heavily of mint and spice and smoke and fire and love and _love and love_.

The thing that was once Arthur screamed and writhed and slammed his fists against the barrier that sprung up between the thing and his friends. He raged and slammed and tore, lighting and energy curling in wild dances against the magic holding him in place. He howled in furious terror.

**FREEDOM IS JUST OUT OF REACH! _LET ME GO!_ I CAN _FIND_ IT! MORE _TIME_! LET ME _GO_!**

" _Nope_ ," Vivi popped the 'p' at the end of that word, a sly, sad smirk taunting what was Arthur into screaming and slamming again, "we're gonna _sit down_ and fucking _talk_ , asshole. And _you're_ gonna fucking _listen_ and remember and _then_ , if you're _good_ , we'll fucking let you out."

" **Not till _then_ though** ," Lewis added.

_**LET ME GO!** _

"Just _behave_. It'll all be over soon."

" _Trust us_ , Arthur. We know what _needs_ to be done. Just stop and let us help."

" **Let us make up for our mistakes.** "

"Let us _save_ you."


	13. In Which Things Get Better, But Only After Getting Much, Much Worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Cause the world might do me in. It's all right cause I'm with friends. 'Cause I'm giving up again, it doesn't matter. And I'm feeling like a ghost and it's what I hate the most, 'cause I'm giving up again and this time—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So this one was a doozy because, despite my original plans for this chapter, it kept changing because more and more of my brain started screaming "TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS AND CHOOSE JOY GODDAMN YOU!" and my fingers went "aight" so...
> 
> Now the epilogue y'all. I'm just...the true end, for sure. Then some bonus AU chapters for funsies.
> 
> I'm just so pleased.
> 
> Also, I GOT FANART!!! ISN'T THAT WILD?!!!
> 
> Thank you so much for my life. It's so good.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this and don't feel the same level of "this seems janky..." as I do coz like...I'm a dink and my brain is satan.
> 
> Happy American Gorge Yourself Day!
> 
> Be safe, be happy, and be good.

Mystery was ~~(worried about them, worried that they would be beyond saving, even Lewis, even Vivi)~~ confused at how Lewis and Vivi kept up their strange back and forth. " **So what, we bind him and _then_?"**

"We gotta _talk_ to him. Even if he's gone, even if he's _that_ way, he's _still_ our Arthur. He's gotta know _that_ much!"

" **And if he _doesn't_? You've _seen_ the deaths he's suffered. You've probably missed some of them, dead _yourself_?!** " That was ~~(familiar and upsetting and it bristled his fur)~~ _concerning_ how easily and nonchalantly they were recounting those ~~(memories)~~ deaths. The deaths of their friend, many times over.

"Then we try as long as it takes!"

" _ **Vi**_ ," Lewis grabbed her hands and gazed into her eyes. His aura radiated off warm mole rosa of _beauty love protect wonder together_ and Mystery found his anxiety disappearing. " **I don't know if you noticed, but I'm _dead_. I can sense spirits and ghosts and shit like that and whatever Arthur is _now_ is more a _Grudge_ than a _ghost_. That's like me when I reformed, Obsession with no _reason_. No logic. No _understanding_.** "

While that was true for Lewis ~~(how would you have known that if you weren't there when he reformed, not this time but times before and since)~~ it's upsetting. Obsession in ghosts was their driving force. The dying tended to waste their Dying Wish, the burst of power born from their spiritual conception, on their Obsession but sometimes it's more...

Lewis had used his Wish to erase his death from Vivi's memory, accidentally taking her whole memory of him with it, and his Obsession had been... _rage_? Grief? _Betrayal_? He wanted Arthur to pay because he hadn't realized it wasn't _Arthur_ who did the deed, even if it _had_ been his body.

But _now_ , with ~~(all of his memories inside of one version of him)~~ whatever's going on, Lewis's Obsession had _changed_. Not grief, not rage, but... _devotion_? Protection? _Love_ even?!

Something else was holding him together now. Powering his form. Giving him the strength to create fire and float and talk and hold mastery over the whole mansion and the residents within.

It was ~~(beautiful that even in death, he could still love with all of him)~~ maddeningly confusing. Mystery continued to chew on that thought as Vivi and Lewis planned.

"Mystery is the fastest of us, so he can be bait?" Vivi's note caught Mystery off-guard and he yipped in surprise. " _What_?"

"You want _me_ to be bait to-to draw Arthur to the trap and set it off?" He tried to keep ~~(concern)~~ fear out of his voice, but he failed in the worst of ways.

"Of _course_. Even with _all_ the me I am, I don't know the technicality of magic. You're the most experienced, Mister Kitsune, and the least likely to get your teeth kicked in." Her nonchalant tone was ~~(concerning that she would be so focused that she didn't care about herself and others, like so many years ago when she moved and didn't make friends until Arthur—)~~ upsetting, but cavalier.

" **I _would_ play bait if it weren't for the damage he did to my Anchor. If he applies pressure and hate like that again, I may not be able to reform**." Lewis winced and ran a hand over the cracked ~~(locket that Vivi got him for their anniversary where he put a pic of him and her in one side and him and Arthur in the other but it had been missing Arthur's half after his death because why why why)~~ heart that hovered in front of his left breast pocket. " **And I'm not fast enough to anticipate his strikes. _You_ , on the other hand, can smell the lighting before it hits, _yeah_?** "

Mystery sighed, " _yeah_."

"But reminding him of being human is the _hard_ part. What would we even _do_?"

Lewis hummed, his skull bobbing side to side in thought. " **We could talk to him for sure. Sit him down and have a come to Jesus meeting?** "

"How would _that_ help. You've seen how he is! What about that 'come to Jesus' meeting would convince him to calm his tits?" Vivi laughed, unkind, _exasperated_.

" _ **I don't know!**_ "

"Well, do we know his Obsession?" Mystery asked. Behind them, the screams of Arthur fighting off the residents echoed loudly.

**WHAT DID THEY DO TO DESERVE THIS?! WHAT DID _I_ DO TO DESERVE THIS?!**

"If I'm remembering things right, one time he told me that he wanted to...make things _right_. Make everyone _happy_." Vivi frowned, mood darkening.

Lewis nodded, " **I don't remember him ever telling me _outright_ , but I _do_ remember one where I...had a... _direct_ hand in his death. He had come to talk to me after I reformed and...my Obsession kicked in _real bad_**." For what it was worth, Lewis sounded _very_ guilty about that one. ~~(Not that he could be blamed for his feelings. Arthur was hot and cold at that point. If he felt vindicated, who was Mystery to judge him?)~~ " **He mentioned the ' _greater good_ ' and ' _best possible way_ ' and said something about how it didn't matter if _he_ suffered and _I_ died if the ending was okay and everyone was _happy_.** "

That was... _telling_.

"The desire for a 'perfect ending'?" Mystery posits.

Vivi hummed. "The desire to do right by others?"

"That's a _little_...broad?"

"As is a 'perfect ending'!"

Lewis shook his head, " **dissatisfaction is a strong emotion but is it enough to Anchor and Obsess?** "

"Doubtful. Too wide a net."

"Then what's more specific?"

" **I wanna say it _might_ have been guilt at first**." Lewis's sockets squinched, concerned, and he tapped his foot in thought. " **Now it's more... _perfection_?** "

"I _would_ say ennui but if that was a ghost-worthy emotion, you'd never _not_ see ghosts!"

Mystery laughed at that ~~(even if it was a distraction from the fact that they had no idea how to help, how to fix, how to save Arthur)~~. "Guilt may be base but... _indignation_? He did say a lot about things being 'unfair'."

As if to prove his point, Arthur screamed and howled out, **NOTHING THE WORLD ORDAINED IS EVER _FAIR_ OR _RIGHT_ OR _RIGHTEOUS_! WE WILL TOIL IN DIRT AND SWEAT AND PAIN UNTIL WE _BECOME_ DIRT AND SWEAT AND PAIN ONCE MORE!**

" _Jesus_ , Nietzsche. Take a chill pill, why dontcha?" Vivi grimaced. ~~(His wails of pain and pity were not conducive for their plans but that didn't mean that she had to be cold!)~~

That was enough for Mystery, though, who snapped at Vivi, fangs bared. " _Enough_! We can't just—" ~~(talk about him as if he's not here, just down the hall, in pain)~~ "— _say_ things like that!"

To her credit, she did look properly chastised. She shrank in on herself, grabbing ahold of her arm and averting her gaze. Mystery felt ~~(vindicated with the way she was immediately sorry for how she felt, treating Arthur like he was a horse to put down at the first injury)~~ ashamed. "Sorry," she admitted. "It's a bad habit for sure." ~~(Her willingness to turn pain into a joke if if meant she would hurt others less. Her ability to take hurt and make it into a shield of laugh harder damn you, spines erect and facing out.)~~

"I'm _just_ —" he ~~(didn't know how to help his kits, who were hurting so much because of his many many mistakes)~~ stopped, choked, worried.

" **We're _all_**." Lewis supplied. If he had a face ~~(your fault, coward coward coward!)~~ he would have been smiling. Instead, his skull set to a slight tilt, leftward, eye sockets squinting slightly.

~~(God that was so human for a dead man. That expression. That love. That Mystery himself couldn't do that as well was—!)~~

"Obsession aside, he wants _perfection_. Happiness? The ultimate ending for _all_ of us." Mystery paused, looking to the others for answers to questions he ~~(knew already)~~ couldn't know.

" _Just_ us. He's given up on himself. Or, _had_ given up on himself by _about_ the fourth go round, I think." Vivi winced.

" **Some of them weren't pleasant** ," Lewis shook his head in sad agreement.

"Some were... _individual's_ faults..."

~~(All were your fault. All of them. You let them down. Your kits died because of your cowardice. You don't get to feel sorry for yourself. Fucking fix this.)~~

" _Oh_..."

" _Yeah_." Vivi didn't meet his eyes still. Then she sighed. "How would we even go about convincing him this was the best possible end? You're still dead, Lewis, and Mystery is about two minutes of fox-time from having us made into bespoke human bonsai! Do we waltz in like ' _heyyyyy Art!_ Everything is _just fiiiiiine_ now! Look: buddies and _everything_!'? I doubt that'd fly, even with Artie as he is." More screams. More yelling.

Lewis winced, " ** _okay_. So instead we convince him that overall wellbeing is fair enough?** "

"Wellbeing seems to not be a point he's concerned with." It was painful how hurt Vivi sounded. Painful that she was so sure of this. ~~(So right about it.)~~

"What if we bind him and talk. About _us_ , about our fears and hurts and pasts? A lot of what you've mentioned, along with his own erratic behaviour, seems to be tied to the feeling of pain equalling unfair treatment?" Mystery suggested, "so we just...show him our past pain didn't define us and neither will our future pain. Or _present_ pain."

Vivi opened her mouth to say something, then stopped. She grinned, a _real_ one. "That's _pretty solid,_ bait. You down to clown?"

"You know," Mystery replied, "I don't think I'll _ever_ understand modern parlance."

"I'll take that as a _yes_. Let's do it to it you dorks!"

" **Pot, _kettle_**."

" _Later_."

 _Break_.

* * *

Even if he didn't ~~(remember)~~ know exactly what was going on; even if he didn't ~~(remember)~~ understand what his kits were going though, they were his. He was theirs. So he would ~~(protect)~~ help them. He would ~~(save)~~ protect them. He would ~~(die for)~~ save them.

No matter _what_.

_No matter what._

Arthur screamed and slammed and slammed against the crackling energy of the binding they set up. His face crackled across with pained expressions and tortured gurgles of life slipping free. He howled and shrieked. His fists kept beating, even though they wouldn't relent.

**LET ME _GO_! YOU CAN'T _DO_ THIS! _NONE_ OF YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO KEEP ME HERE!**

"Nice try Kingsman, but possession is nine-tenths of the law." Vivi laughed ~~(disguising her pain as an armor made of chitin and leather and barbed spikes).~~

 **FUCKING _BACK OFF_! I'VE ALREADY _DIED_ THAT BEFORE! REMEMBER THE BLOOD DOWN MY ARM?** Arthur's face and form shifted in jerky stutters, focusing mostly on a death with a pale countenance and blood soaking the underside of his left sleeve. He hissed and bared the wound at Vivi. **THE KNIFE WAS _YOURS_ , AS WAS THE BODY. EVEN IF THE _ACTIONS_ WEREN'T, IT DOESN'T ABSOLVE YOU OF SIN! _NINE-TENTHS INDEED_!**

Vivi backed down, her eyes pained. Lewis stepped up next. " ** _C'mon_ , Artie. We just want to talk, _really_. Like we said: talk with us and we'll let you go**."

 **HOLLOW PROMISES FROM A HOLLOW HEART!** Arthur focused on Lewis now, his image shifting to a neck broken at ninety degrees and scraped to hell and back. **' _I'LL ALWAYS PROTECT YOU'_ YOU SAID. LOOK AT ME NOW! THIS ONE WAS FIRST, WAS _YOU_! DEATH IS ALL YOU TOUCH AND YOUR** **WORDS ARE HONEYED _RAT-BAIT!_**

Lewis backed off too, flames dying down and skull sinking into his shirt. Now it was Mystery's turn. "Arthur, _please_. We only do this because we care."

Arthur didn't seem to know what to do with Mystery for a moment, his body glitching across a few before settling on one that was particularly sad. Burns across the better part of his left side, this Arthur was missing an eye and teeth marks marred his neck as well. He sneered and his teeth were broken and missing messes. His right arm was a mass of sores and he slammed it against the barrier. **IF YOU CARED, YOU WOULD HAVE _STOPPED_ IT. YOU WOULD HAVE SAVED _HIM_. YOU WOULD HAVE _TOLD US_. YOU WOULD HAVE KILLED _ME_. YOU DON'T _GET_ TO CAST STONES IN YOUR GLASS TEMPLE, _MIGI_ , LET ALONE THROW THEM INTO _MINE_! I KNOW MY FRAGILITY, _DO YOU_?!**

Mystery bristled, but not because of what Arthur said. No, more because of what happened when Arthur said it.

Because Mystery _remembered_.

And Arthur was—!

" _You're right_."

Everyone turned to stare at Mystery, who was sitting and staring into the pained echoes of eyes that belonged to an Arthur he had hurt _so badly_. He continued, voice barely audible though shame and soft whispered syllables.

"I _should_ have told you Lewis was dead instead of letting you run yourself ragged with each wasted night. I _should_ have killed the demon on entry. I _should_ have saved Lewis as much as you. I _should_ have killed that version of you when I saw what happened. But I _didn't_."

**OF _COURSE_ YOU DIDN'T. _COWARD_.**

"Arthur, let me tell you the story of a lonely, foolish fox and the forest of blood." He sighed, not defeated, but at peace. His head didn't hurt. His ears didn't ring. He remembered and that made it _so much easier_. "You see, there was a fox named Migi. The right hand of an ancient being, the fox had lived enough for nine whole tails worth of power to be gifted to him, but it was _never enough_. The fox was _empty_ , tired, _hungry_. It was hollow and unyielding. And it needed to fill that hole."

Even Arthur fell silent, his cycling pain only images, his fists dragging the ground. They were all held enrapt by Mystery's story.

"The fox found a flower growing on the grave of a strong onmyoji that bothered him a century before. The flower, a pale blossom, was wreathed in potential, so the fox fed it his blood. It _thrived_ then, becoming a white forest _soaked_ in crimson soil. It never tasted the fox's blood again, but it didn't _need_ to. Belief kept people coming to it to defeat the Jubokko it became. _Belief_ kept people _dying_ on the Jubokko's soil by the fox's teeth and claws and fire. The fox found purpose in killing to feed his child. It was no longer bored.

"But a warrior came, _long_ after the Jubokko had begun to thirst for more than _mortal_ blood, and struck down the fox and tore one of his tails off as payment for his hand in her pain. The fox retreated, limping away to recover. The Jubokko came and took another tail to feed herself. The fox fled again, _betrayed_.

"The Jubokko found the fox no matter where he hid, so he used his magics to hide as a dog, with the ancestral line of that warrior from long ago. Or, rather, with a family that smelled heavily of that warrior. And the Jubokko had a harder time finding him. He was down to six of nine tails but he was _safe_ , so long as he _hid_." Mystery took a shaking breath and continued, his story almost finished.

"He convinced himself that if he hid, everything would be _fine_. The Jubokko, the white forest, _wouldn't_ hurt him and his kits if she _couldn't_ find them. So he missed the demon that hurt his kits. Missed the death of one of them. Missed the fall of another. Missed the way his kits hurt themselves, all for the selfish thought that he'd finally found a family and filled in that hole in his chest. And he deserved to lose the rest of his tails just for one of these debts he owed his kits. But he couldn't because he was a coward. A _dog_."

Arthur stirred again. He didn't seem as aggressive as before, faces shifting slower. **_SO_? PAST PERFORMANCES ARE INDICATIVE! _PROOF_! PROVE YOURSELF! CONVINCE ME YOU'RE _WORTH_ THE PAIN!**

Mystery reached out to the edge of the barrier and filled out info his natural form. His glasses glinted in the amber light of Arthur. "I'll give you one if you ask. If you _really_ want it. If you think it'd help. Just _ask_ , Arthur."

Arthur _didn't_. He didn't meet Mystery's eyes.

If Lewis and Vivi got what he was trying to get at, they didn't indicate so. Mystery cursed his broad strokes. Sometimes Vivi and Lewis needed to have their hands held. Sometimes they needed a boost.

 **AND YOU?!** Arthur asked Lewis. _**EXCUSES?!**_

Lewis grimaced, insofar as he _could_ , and sat down mid-air, legs crossed. " **Well where do I begin?** " He exhaled, a remnant of life, and began, " **once upon a time there was a boy who lost _everything_. His family, his memory, his _purpose_ , all consumed by something he would never know. And this boy always felt like the reason it was lost was that he wasn't _enough_**."

This, too, seemed to placate Arthur, who watched and listened as his form cycled through deaths Lewis had a hand in.

 **"He was adopted by a kind couple who took him in, _despite_ his missing pieces, but it never felt like it was _enough_. He continued to feel like he was missing _all_ the important parts and that one day they'd be rid of him when they realized that he was _broken_. They wouldn't want an inferior product. And he'd be _alone_ again, back where he started, with _nothing_**."

Vivi grimaced and went to place a hand on Lewis's shoulder but stopped short. Digging up this trauma was _supposed_ to hurt. He _needed_ to see that trauma didn't make them _less_. He needed to see that pain didn't break them. That it didn't _destroy_ them.

That pain wasn't the end.

" **But they _didn't_. They _kept_ him. And he grew and found a friend in a tall boy who kept him safe from bullies, who saw a little kid who didn't speak English well and liked cute things, and wanted to hit. And that boy became his lifeline, even _after_ his world expanded to include another. When the boy grew to be bigger and stronger than his friend, he wanted to flip the script, to protect his friends. So he selfishly put them in situations where they needed it.** **And he _should_ have stopped.**

" _ **But he didn't**_." Lewis shrank in on himself. " **And he was blinded by the desire to be _needed_ , so he put his first friend, his first _love_ , in danger again and _again_ so he could feel like he was doing _something_ right. Like he was worth keeping around. And when his first love pushed him to be with his second, he feared that he wasn't worth loving. So he pushed harder and harder and _harder_ until his first love pushed back and he _died_.**

" **And he was _angry_. And he let it _consume_ him. He didn't see that his love was missing something and didn't do it of his own volition. He didn't see that his second love was empty, missing her heart. He took it when he died. And it was _terrible_ and he _shouldn't_ have done it. He should've let them know that he loved _both_ of them equally. That he wanted to _be with them_ both _equally_.** " Lewis sighed and shifted back into a standing position. " **That he wanted to be of use for _both_ of them.** "

**USE? _USE?!_ A PROTECTOR WHO FORCES HIS DAMSEL INTO THE PAIN IS A _BULLY_ AND A _LIAR_!**

" **And I'm _very_ sorry, Arthur. I should've noticed you were uncomfortable. I should've noticed you were _hurting_. I should've _told you the truth_.** "

Arthur hissed, **_SHOULD'VE_ IS A PRETTY _DIDN'T_ , PEPPER.**

" **Arthur, I fucked up. I'm _so_ sorry and I don't think I can make up for it now, but I _will_ promise this: my heart is _yours_. _Ask_ and I'll give it to you. I love you, and if you want me dead to feel better, then you can kill me. I'm _already_ dead. It won't hurt any more than I already have**." He placed his hand flat against the barrier and held uncomfortable eye contact with the writhing form of his dying friend.

Arthur didn't respond, his form settling even more.

" _My turn_ I guess." Vivi smiled a smile that was not a smile. "So where do I start?"

**START WITH THE LIES. START WITH YOUR FALSE LOVE. START WITH _THAT_!**

"Fair enough," she nodded. "How about _this_ : once upon a time, there was a very sad little girl. Her only friend in the whole wide world was her dog and it was enough.

"Even if it _wasn't_.

"She moved a lot growing up and making friends was hard. Harder _still_ when you wouldn't have them in seven months. So she associated friend with _selfish_ and kept to herself. But when she was in high school, her parents stopped moving and she had no friends in the town that would be the next four years of her life."

Mystery wanted to place his head in her lap and comfort her but he knew that if he moved to do so, Arthur would react poorly. Their placation was working well, calming him down. Pain was not the end. Pain was understanding the world around you.

"When she _finally_ realized that fact, it was too late and everyone already had friends. She couldn't break up people like that. So she and her dog sat alone and were alone and that was _fine_.

"Even if it _wasn't_.

" _One day_ a couple of kids came to sit with her. A tall boy and his cute, shy friend, and they sat down and didn't leave and the girl wanted them to be _hers_. She wanted them to _stay_. So she held on, selfishly, and didn't let go." Vivi sniffled. "As time passed, they got closer and closer and closer and the girl continued to think that she was _owed_ these friends. That her lack of friends meant that these would be hers _forever_. That she couldn't let go _ever_. So she put them in a strangle-hold and dragged and dragged and _dragged_.

"They would be _disappointed_ if they found out she was scared of ghosts and the dark and demons. They would be _upset_ if they found out she was lying about being brave. They would _hate her_ if they found out she didn't just love the one she was dating, but _both_ of them, her best friends, _her boys_." She stammered around her tears, getting out the last of it. "So she lied by smiling and lied by loving and lied by fighting. And one of them died and she didn't remember and she lied and lied and _lied_ because the feeling of disappointment was too much to bear and she clung to the remaining one and suffocated him to death. And it was _all her fault_ , she thought.

"Even if it _wasn't_."

 **IT _WAS_!** Arthur rebuked. **ALL YOU! YOU HELD ON TO LEWIS AND DIDN'T LET GO AND I WAS _ALONE_ AND _NO ONE_ WANTED ME, THE LEFTOVER! DAMN YOU! _DAMN YOU_** _!_

"So now I'm going to make up for it. Be _selfish_ , Arthur. _Take_ your happy ending. Don't worry about me. That little girl is gone and in her place is a goddamn _adult_ , so just let us take the hurt away." Vivi smiled at Arthur and placed her hand against the barrier as well, making sure he knew she was being honest. "I love you, Arthur. I think we _both_ do. So let us help."

**HOW?!**

" **Let go**."

_**HOW?!** _

" _Talk_ about it. With us."

Arthur stared at them, many eyes swimming with tears and pain and hurt. **HOW?!**

Vivi continued, a laugh breaking through her tears. "How about you start like this: once upon a time, there was a young boy who loved with all he had and he had so, _so_ much."

**HE DIED AGAIN AND AGAIN FOR FRIENDS WHO ABANDONED HIM! WHO _USED_ HIM! WHO SECRETLY _HATED_ HIM ALL ALONG!**

" **He had an uncle who taught him how to fix broken things and he wanted to fix himself. He didn't _need_ to, because he was fine. Tall and tired and full of love. And he found a friend, empty and scared, and fixed him with love**." Lewis did the next bit, eye sockets shining with love and joy and so much more.

**THOSE FRIENDS DIDN'T NEED HIM! _WANT_ HIM! _CARE_! AND IN THE END THEY _ABANDONED_ HIM FOR EACH OTHER!**

"That tall, tall boy, so full of love, found another lost child and they found her and fixed her and filled her with love. And she was happy but scared and they were together." Vivi added on, smiling brightly, eyes wet.

**THEY FOUND EACH OTHER AND _LEFT_! THEY TOOK HIS HEART AND _RAN_ AND TOOK ALL HE HAD! LIARS AND FAKES, THEY _BROKE_ HIM!**

"That tall boy, _so_ full of love, found a broken hamster, and used the skills his uncle taught him to build legs for the rodent. The boy, with his love and skills, gave the hamster his freedom. And the hamster loved him more than life itself. And the boy was _loved_." Mystery said, calm, collected.

**EVERY FRIEND HE MADE _LEFT_ AND HE WOULD _ALWAYS_ BE ALONE, _NO MATTER WHAT_ OTHERS SAID!**

" **And the tall boy, full of love, was _hurting_ and his friends didn't notice. When they _did_ , it was too late, and the boy was broken to pieces. So his friends gathered the pieces and started to reassemble him, piece by piece**."

**BUT SOME WERE MISSING, SPLINTERS, _POINTLESS_!**

"The hamster gathered the shards and the boy remembered his shape and the girl placed each piece. Each one slotted into place and they wanted, more than anything, to make him _safer_ , happier, better. They wanted to make him feel _safe_. Wanted. _Loved_."

**THERE WAS A HOLE, ABOVE HIS HEART! _NOTHING_ COULD FIX IT!**

"So they gave the boy pieces of _their_ hearts and he was whole and the whole _of them._ He was their love and their joy and their wonder."

**IT WASN'T _ENOUGH_!**

"But it would _do_."

**HE WAS _STILL_ HURTING!**

"But they were there to take some of the burden."

**NOTHING WAS _FAIR_!**

" **And that was _okay_.** "

Arthur whimpered and clutched at his head. **B-BUT I DON'T—!**

" ** _Breathe_. You're here, _we're_ here, and it will be _okay_. Just breathe deep. We will make it through this**."

**IT HURTS!**

"I know..."

**I'M _SCARED_!**

" **I know...** "

**I DON'T WANT TO DIE!**

"I know..."

Arthur wailed and curled in on himself. **_HOW_? HOW CAN I BE HAPPY LIKE _YOU_ , IN A WORLD THAT DOESN'T _WANT_ HAPPINESS TO EXIST?!**

" **Choose joy** ," Lewis said. " **And become happy to _be_ happy**."

"Even when you're _hurting_. Even when you're down. _Choose_ to be happy."

**IT'S _HARD_!**

"We know..."

**I'M SO SORRY! I'M SO _SO_ SORRY!**

"We know..."

_**I'M SORRY...** _

" **So are we...** "

**I'M SO TIRED...**

"It's time to let go, Arthur."

" **Let _us_ bear the burden.** "

"Take your rest."

 **I'M—** Arthur stretched out and yawned, his form looking more and more like himself than a million deaths, **SORRY...**

" **No need. Just rest.** "

"We got it from here."

"Take your leave, Arthur."

**THANK YOU.**

"Any time."

"We love you."

" _ **Goodnight**_."

* * *

Arthur woke up, slowly and quietly, in a soft, warm bed.


	14. In Which There Is, At Last, A Happy Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I won't let them take you away from me! I'll be your protection and I'll fight for you endlessly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end.
> 
> I'm so glad I'm done with the meat or this story and I wanted to thank so many of you for being along for the ride! And, considering I labeled this my NaNoWriMo, I think I did really fucking good! Even if I don't add bonus chapters past one or two, I hit more words than I've ever done any year before this one! Yay me!
> 
> Because it is Thanksgiving soon, I want to let you know that I'm thankful for all of you, who read this story from beginning to end, and supported this fun, sad idea. You kept me going when I might not have. Every time my inbox was full of reviews, my heart welled up and I wanted to grab ahold of all of you, Ring-style, and give you the biggest of hugs. You really made this worthwhile.
> 
> This also marks the second-longest finished works I've ever published! Yay me!
> 
> IDK if I'll be doing another long-form MSA fic again (I have one I've been planning with a friend but we'll see...) but the bonus AU chapters for this one will be...fun for such reasons as self-contained little oneshot using this Arthur as a base.
> 
> Thank you, again, for all your support. It means the world to me.
> 
> Enjoy your happy ending. You earned it.

In a universe where string theory exists, saying that every choice made spawned an alternate universe that make up the weft weave of all that is, there is a world in which it did not.

In this world, your choices matter in the long run because there is no escape from the consequences and that's fine.

That's how life is.

In this world without string theory, Arthur Kingsman's unrequited love for his friends allowed for a demon to take hold of him and subsequent kill Lewis Pepper. In this world, their dog who is also a kitsune ripped his arm off to save him, neglecting Lewis plummeting to his death. In this world, the third of the group, Vivi Yukino, witnessed the death of Lewis and had the event expunged from her memory when he died, Wishing with all of him that she wouldn't remember his demise. In this world, the newly formed spirit believed Arthur pushed him on purpose and hated him for it. Obsessed about it.

And the world turned.

In this world without string theory, Arthur continued to look for Lewis, not knowing he was dead. In this world, Mystery said nothing about his skills, his past, his knowledge, for fear of drawing Shiromori, who pursued him. In this world, Vivi couldn't remember a thing about Lewis, not just his death, and it hurt everyone around her. In this world, their van broke down outside a haunted mansion during a search for Lewis. In this world, Lewis pursued Arthur, intent on killing him to right a perceived wrong. In this world, he failed and the three investigators found themselves backed into a large room full of weapons and magic books as the ghost of Lewis Pepper advanced on them.

Lewis watched, apprehensive, as Vivi opened his Anchor and saw all he was. Who he was. When she stiffened, eyes flickering magenta, he worried he hurt her, but she soon relaxed and sent his Anchor back to him. " **Vivi,** " he said, relieved.

"Lewis you goddamn _idiot_!" He wasn't expecting her to literally throw her shoe at his head. "Why the _fuck_ are you gunning for _Artie_?!"

" _Lewis_?" Arthur (hated Arthur who took everything from him and kept on living despite it all) gaped. It was fake though. He knew what he did, the faker. Liar.

" **He _killed_ me! Don't let him fool you!** " Lewis tried to reason with her, gesturing to Arthur his (friend who was somehow unsure of everything even as he sat there, staring, like he'd seen a ghost, pun intended) killer. Arthur, pale as a sheet, grabbed ahold of his left arm and white-knuckled the _metal of—?!_

_Wait_ _._

"I _think_ ," Mystery said and _holy fuck_ okay _that's_ a new one. _Woof_. _Jesus H Christ on a cracker,_ this was a _lot_ to take in apparently. "We should stop the revenge for half a moment and talk. _All four of us_. _Right_ now."

Vivi nodded, curt. She gestured to the floor beneath Lewis's feet and snapped. "Sit _down_. We've got three years to talk about, starting with what you think happened."

In this world, Lewis Pepper learned the truth before it's too late. In this world, Arthur Kingsman knew what happened that night and it doesn't get any easier. In this world, Vivi Yukino remembered and is hurt but understands because no one is perfect. In this world, Mystery told them all he can, warning them of Shiromori and her plans and motivation.

In this world, they talked it out.

In this world, they hurt but it gets _better_.

* * *

Ají Pepper answered the corded phone in the back of _Paradiso_. " _Pepper Paradiso_ , the marriage of spicy and sweet. This is Ají speaking, how may I be of service?"

" _Hey Missus Pepper!_ " The tinny sound of Arthur's bad phone mic crackled through the receiver. Ají frowned and curled the cord around her finger.

" _Arthur_! It's been a while!" She didn't like it when he called. It meant he was still looking. Still _hoping_. It made her heart ache, that he couldn't let go even after three years.

" _Yeah...,_ " Arthur swallowed audibly. Ají frowned again. " _Hey, what's your weekend look like?_ "

" _Busy_ , save for Sunday. Halloween is coming up and you know how people are around here, with their soul cakes and so on. Plus we need to prepare for the All Souls Day rush that coincides with Day of the Dead. Many orders, many _intricate_ ones. Keeps me and Utap busy, but tired. The girls have been _so_ excited though." She didn't want to talk about it. Didn't want to _think_ about it.

" _Do you—_ " Arthur pulled his mouth away from the phone and said something muffled to someone, " _— **sorry** , um...do you think you, mister Pepper, and the girls be at **Paradiso** Sunday around fourish? Me and Vivi...we have... **news**._ "

_Well_...there went her hopes that he'd given up. Her heart ached and her stomach turned but she faked cheer, if only for him. "Fourish? _Can do_. Look forward to seeing you then, Arthur. Get more sleep and prepare for Utap to make you one of those large parfaits you tried last time. You're the only one who eats his experimental sweets nowadays."

" _Uh, **yeah**. We'll, um, see you then. **Bye**!_ " And he hung up.

Ají shook her head and sighed. Utap wouldn't like this, but she _promised_. She promised Lance she'd keep an eye on his boy.

It's all she could do, for Lewis. It's what he would have wanted.

So she prepared and she swallowed apprehension. And she breathed in deep.

Her son was dead. Arthur needed to see that.

Needed to stop chasing a ghost.

* * *

Lewis waved, nervously, at his parents and sisters. He had taken precautions to look more... _alive_ than he usually did, putting on an illusory copy of his living form, but his eyes never did what he wanted them to so here he was, in _Pepper Paradiso_ after three years, pretending all was fine, wearing sunglasses _indoors_.

" **Hi Mama, Papa. Um... _sorry_?** " He hopes his voice didn't carry that strange ghostly echo it usually had. He hoped it sounded normal. That he could pass for alive.

Utap Pepper shook and trembled, tears pooling in his eyes. " _Lewis_? Is that really—?"

"Utap, don't be _silly_! We _buried_ Lewis! This is some _joke_ from a boy who can't let go!" Ají glared at Arthur, who shrank back.

" ** _No_ , I promise, it's me. Swear on my... _life_...** " Okay, so _that_ was a bad way to phrase it, but he needed to hug them, to see them again, to let his family know he was... _around_...

" _We had a funeral for you_! You _don't_ get to disappear for three years and pretend it's all _fine_!" Ají yelled.

Lewis flinched, tamping down on his natural reaction to summon flames to protect himself. He grit his (illusory) teeth and tried again, " **I _know_ , but Mama, I have a good reason—**"

"We _buried_ you!" She reiterated.

Utap cried harder, body wracked with sobs. "This isn't...you can't _do_ this to us...not so close to the very same day..."

Belle, Cayenne, and Paprika remained silent, watching the room with quiet contemplation. They were waiting their turn, waiting to see what would happen.

" **Mama, Papa, do you think I _wanted_ this? To be _gone_ for so long? I didn't know how to—** "

" _Three years_ and not a call! Not a note! No idea you were even _okay_! And _this boy_ comes by with tears in his eyes saying it was _his_ fault and for three years we had to pretend that you were coming back for him and he _finds_ you and _this_!"

"We buried you, you know. A fine casket in a grave with a lovely headstone. But this is..."

"We thought you _died_! _He_ thought it was his fault! You don't get to _do_ this to us! _Selfish child_!"

"So close to the date, like some cruel joke."

"And we _mourned_ , the girls and us, but _this boy_ never gave up on your being alive—!"

" **I'm _not_ though!** " Lewis finally let his illusion slip, so tired of yelling and fighting. Of hearing his mother blame his friend, his love, for their pain. For thinking he was alive when he _wasn't_.

Everyone stopped as they took in Lewis's appearance. Arthur, pale and silent the whole time, gestured to Lewis with a weak, sickly grin. "Lewis Pepper, dead as _fuck_ , and it's _all my fault._ "

Before more silence set in, Vivi smacked Arthur upside the head and hissed at him. "Don't make me get a newspaper just for this! _All of us_ know whose fault it was, and it _sure as shit_ isn't _yours_!"

"It was _my_ body!"

"We're not doing this again, in front of his _parents_!"

Lewis flinched and his hair flickered as stress settled into his Anchor. One of the Deadbeats curled around his shoulder and hummed a song to calm him down. He didn't know what he expected.

It was Bell that broke the silence, one hand grabbing ahold of Lewis's coattails. He jerked in surprise and looked down at her, radiating worry. "I like your new clothes, Lulu."

" **Thank you. I do too**."

"M'sorry you died."

" ** _Mmm_**."

"But you're _back_ , aren't you?" She looked up at him with hopeful eyes.

He bent down and scooped her up, letting her hand wave through his hair without it burning her. " **That's what the plan is. For me and Artie and Vivi to keep together and for me to come back and visit _all the time_. Maybe even move back in to our place, if we still have the lease on it.** "

Arthur and Vivi immediately looked sheepish. "It... _ah_...ran out a couple months after the fact _and_...with just Vi and me to pay, we had to... _um_... _downgrade_."

" _ **All my stuff?**_ " His tone was playful, but he could see Ají flinch out of the corner of his eye as Bell played with the Deadbeat on his shoulder.

" _Storage_! Don't worry!"

" **I wasn't** ," he shook his head and set Bell down again. " **Just _wondering_**."

"So, _what_ , you're a ghost now?" Cayenne asked, suddenly up in Lewis's personal space. She poked one of the decorative ribs on Lewis's jacket and squinted up at him as if determining what to do next.

" ** _Yeah_. Dead as they come.** " Lewis applied the Vivi school of dealing with it: jokes. It fell flat, but he _tried_ dammit!

" _Neat_!"

Paprika remained content to look from a distance, her eyes, much like her mother's, unreadable. And _speaking_ of Ají.

Utap was the one who got close, wrapping Lewis up in a noodle-armed hug. He sobbed into his son's chest, face blotchy and tear-streaked. "We buried an empty casket!"

" **I'm _so sorry_ Papa. I didn't _mean_ to never come home."**

"We were so _worried_ for _so_ long! We couldn't let ourselves hope much longer! We just _had_ to!"

" **It's okay...it's okay...** "

"It's _not_ though!" And he wailed. Lewis just held on tight, unable to cry himself. The Deadbeat with Bell called a friend and they played with Cayenne while Utap held Lewis.

Ají still hadn't moved.

"That day, in the cave," Arthur started.

" _Don't_." Ají cut him off, cold, blank. "I spent _so long_ thinking you were naïve and foolish, that Lewis would _never_ come home. I blamed you for my heartache for _so_ long. You don't need to explain to me." She turned to look at her son and her husband, embracing. "You've done enough. _Thank you,_ Arthur."

Arthur fell back, unsure. The sonorous voice of Mystery echoed in his head, _**Let them have their moment. Let's go talk to Lance. He's probably not going to appreciate this, but he deserves to know.**_

"We'll leave you to it," Vivi said, inching out the door. "Be right back!"

And the Peppers wept and rejoiced and rejoined and loved.

In this world, Lance Kingsman finally got all the answers, face-to-face with the ghost of his boy's boyfriend. In this world, Lewis Pepper promised to call and visit more often, even though he was legally dead, he didn't have to be out of the loop! In this world, Gramma Yukino just smiled when Vivi told her the news, hand gently scratching behind Mystery's ear in that way he liked so much. In this world, Arthur Kingsman pulled Lewis's things out of storage and haphazardly put them away in their shared apartment. In this world, Shiromori was always one step behind them, until she wasn't, but it didn't matter.

In this world, they were ready and the Jubokko wasn't, allowing them to seal her in the form of a small flower, like she had started so many centuries ago.

In this world, there was a happy ending, and that was enough.

* * *

Arthur woke up in a soft, warm bed, surrounded by his girlfriend and boyfriend, their dog at their feet, happier than he had ever been before. It was perfect and he couldn't ask for more. So he decided, fuck it, and went back to sleep.


	15. Bonus: Mr. Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Or: in which Arthur tries something different and it pays off in a strange and unusual way.)
> 
> A consensual possession AU chapter that TECHNICALLY could be canon in Future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first of the bonus chapters!
> 
> This one began with the fun concept of a MSA Venom!AU with ??? as Venom and Arthur as Eddie. Then I was like "but what if????" and then went from there. And somehow was the longest one I've ever written to date for this story. Woof.
> 
> The bonus chapters will alternate between Future-canon-compliant and AU af. This one can TECHNICALLY be Future-canon-compliant. I'm not saying either way.
> 
> NGL, I'm McFucking pissed that my phone is so hard to type on rn. Also the formatting on this chapter is Bad and I Dislike Doing It. A LOT of bold and italicized shit. Yikes. Also the bonus chapters will be named after songs that I like that fit the mood of them. Take a quick guess about this one lmao. (there's a link in the story itself hint hint)
> 
> A quick FAQ-check since the end and epilogue was...vague and odd:  
> "What happened with the Arthur amalgamate and the timeline? How is the final Arthur the way he is? I'm confused!"
> 
> Basically the gist of things are as such: the Arthur we have been following (henceforth to be referred to OG!Arthur) is the product of a Dying Wish. The Wish was this "I want to make things wight." So OG!Arthur slipped from timeline to timeline, possessing that Arthur's body (his by technicality, hence ??? being able to possess him despite it) and absorbing him into what became the Amalgamate (or Collective). In the end, the many many deaths that the OG!Arthur contained within himself spilled out and the dissatisfaction that he felt with his incomplete Wish became more of a Grudge. When Vivi and Lewis and Mystery, now aware of every timeline that OG!Arthur contained and their memories within, placated OG!Arthur and put him to rest, he dissipated and that was that. The Epilogue, set in a "world without string theory" (a shorthand way of saying that OG!Arthur could have never reached it anyway), has a unique Arthur with a unique resolution, but that is the Happiest Ending they could have gotten. Not perfection, not without pain, just moving forward, onward, with all they have. So the one timeline that OG!Arthur could have never reached is the one place where a "Happy Ending" was possible. And that's that.
> 
> Warning this time around: mentions of suicidal urges, mentions of self harm, deep discussions of depression and bad coping habits, and the usual despair.

In a world where string theory exists, Arthur Kingsman had lived a dozen lives and has had enough. He was going to try something different. He was going to try something horrifying. He was going to try something that Duet suggested.

It was a couple of cycles back when Duet had pulled him aside when he visited Vivi at work. Then they shoved a large book in his hands and met his eyes with a strange sort of clarity that they rarely displayed, usually opting for ephemeral aloofness.

"Arthur," they said, face calm but voice strained, "you will _need_ this. Come back as many times as you desire. It will _always_ be yours, no question, until it is no longer."

" _Um_ ," Arthur stared at the large tome and then back up at Duet, who was making uncomfortable lingering eye contact. "Thanks. I _guess_..."

"You'll thank me. That much is true. It's the _when_ that's iffy." Duet leaned back and sighed, as if holding the book had been a weight they needed to be rid of. "Now be off. You have reading to do."

And, reluctant and confused, Arthur fucked off to read. It was... _enlightening_.

The book detailed a way to draw in spirits and trap them, unable to break layer upon layer of geases and spells and blessings. A way for Arthur to trap that demon in the cave and earn his happy ending. But it required a bit of a rework to make things perfect, so he got to noodling away.

True to their word, every time that Arthur swung by _the Tomb_ in a new cycle, Duet handed over the book, face as bland as ever. Arthur had taken to making sure he grabbed some baklava from _Paradiso_ as payment after the first two times. It was only right, after all. Duet deserved to be rewarded. They were helping Arthur towards the greater good.

If it weren't for the panicked photographic recall Arthur developed over the past few cycles, he would've been lost. Every cycle meant his notes were gone and his adjustments were only in his head. That meant that he had to memorize them, and that worked out in his favor a few cycles ago, when losing one arm became losing _two_. That was _decidedly_ not fun.

But in the end, he had it. A perfectly modified spell to entrance and trap the demon in the Cave. A perfect spell to keep his friends safe. A perfect way to get his deserved happy ending.

* * *

Arthur dragged his pigment-coated fingers across his skin in intricate patterns, leaving behind the base for the sequence of spells he was going to channel to make sure this time would go right. It was then, in his infinite wisdom and _absolute_ stupidity, that Mystery wandered in.

Before he could catch himself, he barked out, "what are you _doing_?!"

Nonplussed and wholly calm, Arthur finished the formation he was working on and placed his hand down on a paper towel so their conversation wouldn't end in him smearing his lines. "What it looks like. Can't you _knock_?"

If Mystery was confused as to Arthur's lack of confusion, he didn't make note of it. Instead, he focused his attention on the pigment and markings that lay, unfinished, across his bare chest and arms and back. "It _looks_ like you're making yourself open to _any_ and _all_ spirits in the surrounding area! I know you're _afraid_ , but a deal with a Legion won't make you any _less_ so!"

"Oh, this won't call a Legion. If I _finish_ it, it's attuned to a _very specific_ spirit. _Demon_?" Arthur cocked his head to the side, careful to mind the drying pigment on his neck and face. " _Whatever_. I have a plan and, I'm sure you know this, but if I don't finish these, I _will_ be a tasty snack to every ethereal being in a hundred mile radius. _May I_?" Arthur gestured to the cup of pigment.

Mystery didn't respond, sitting down with a sharp and heavy thud. That was response enough. Arthur laughed and dipped his fingers back in the pigment and continued his groundwork.

"Where'd you learn this, anyway? This is an old one, _far_ older than you'd have access to normally. From the times of Persia and the old gods."

"Duet," Arthur said without moving his mouth. He needed this to set right.

" _Ah_."

"Though the tweaks are my own. It's amazing what self-experimentation can teach you."

Mystery bristled, concerned. "You _what_?"

"I only died because of the groundwork _once_. The actual binding killed me three times. The power regulation did me in three times, while the demon itself killed me twice. The _last_ death was because I misjudged the amount of hemlock I needed and also nicked myself shaving." Arthur noted, face still expressionless. "Which, _admittedly_ , ten is a small sample size and I should be ashamed of my scientific data gathering, but tough times call for expedited measures."

" _Ten_ —?" No, _wait_ , never mind. The gold banner flickering around Arthur was enough proof. Even if he wouldn't've noticed without looking hard, he could see the marks of dozens of death on Arthur's aura. His soul. "So what demon?"

"Don't worry about it. Legend says the damn thing was human once but I think that's old folks trying to pretend that nothing was wrong. A demon is a demon. Nothing will _ever_ change that." Arthur moved from his face to an intricate pattern of spirals and lines on his arms.

"A ghost can become a Grudge if given time and resources."

"Not like this."

Mystery sighed, tail thumping against the floor. " _I doubt it_ , but okay."

Satisfied, Arthur continued his work. Though he broke his silent reverie to ask, "can you do me a solid?"

"What?"

"Mind setting up extra seals for if this thing decides to play dirty?"

"On _you_?!" He was horrified. Arthur didn't blame him.

" _Nah_ , on the Cave. For in case I have to yeet this asshole out of me for being a dick."

Mystery's tail poofed up a bit. "Pardon _me_ for not being a mind-reader!"

"You're pardoned."

"You're _insufferable_."

"Yet _here_ you are!" Arthur smiled softly, the paint on his face already dried.

Mystery sighed, unsure of the exact way to proceed. How could he allow one of his kits to mark themselves as a target like this? But Arthur was set in his ways and, out of the three of them, was the most stubborn. Even Vivi could be swayed if need be. So he just nodded, once, and turned tail.

"Not _now_! During the event! _Right_ before, if you don't mind?"

That stopped Mystery in his tracks. Arthur, despite the danger of this situation, was showing incredible foresight. " _Okay_ ," he said. Then, "so _that's_ how you know what I am?"

Another laugh, genuine, " _who_ you are, my good sir. But _yeah_. That's a fair assesment."

_I hope_ , Mystery wished, _that you don't hurt yourself. I hope_ , Mystery prayed, _that this all goes well._

* * *

Vivi and Lewis headed down to the lower path while Arthur meandered upwards. Mystery, true to his word, darted away to lay down more seals to trap and ensnare the demon. It was time.

Arthur gently walked, silent, and kept his senses out for the telltale signs the demon was moving to possess him. As the first hint of numbness crept into his fingertips, he grinned, ready.

_Come on in. I've set the place up nice._

**_Oh? An invitation?!_ **

_Welcome mat and all! Look at the decor!_ Magic surged beneath his skin but he waited for the demon to accept. _A perfect home!_

**_And a willing host? It must be my lucky day!_ **

_Let's say_ , Arthur smirked, _I've been waiting for a moment like this._

(The bit of Arthur that channeled Vivi was bombarded with a few more bars of that song. The rest of him groaned internally and hated it.)

_**Then who am I to refuse?**_ And the demon accepted.

As the demon entered the core of what Arthur was, the lines he painted so painstakingly the night before lit up with his intrinsic orange magic. Seals of binding and trapping and warping echoed across his surface and the energy of a geas sunk deep within his self to rest atop the demon itself.

That's when it knew it fucked up.

**_No! What did you do?!_ ** Arthur could feel the demon tug and pull inside of him, vying for freedom.

_Have you heard of consensual possession?_ It hissed in response and Arthur snickered, sitting down so his feet dangled over the edge of the cliff that had killed him so many times. _Well I extended an invite and you accepted. And, according to the ancient rules I painted on myself using magic and salves, you do what I say. Coz I'm the Host._

**_What?!_ ** He felt the demon try and move his arm. But nothing happened. He felt the demon try and stand up. But nothing happened. He felt the demon try and leave. But nothing happened.

_Here are the rules: you don't harm my friends or anyone emotionally close to me, you don't hurt me by action or inaction, and you don't fucking murder anyone. Follow those rules and you can stay. I'll ferry you out of this cave and you can experience life under the sun for the first time in fuck knows when. Don't and I'll step just outside the boundaries this seal by enough of a degree that the rebound from being evicted takes chunks off of you and whatever adjustment Mystery made keeps you unconscious until your energy depletes or the universe ends, whichever comes first._

The demon keened and writhed. **_This was a trap!_**

_If you had bothered to look before you leapt, you would have seen it was a trap from a mile away. But you didn't. So you didn't._ Arthur leaned back and looked at the stalactites. _Do we have a deal?_

It mulled this thought over for a moment. Then it tried to nod, stopping when it couldn't and instead opting for a pseudo-verbal, ** _yes_**.

_Cool, cool. So, what is your name? Coz if you don't give me one, I'm just gonna keep calling you 'shitlord', like I've been doing for the last forever._

The demon was filled with roiling indignation. **_Mordred was the last name I went by._** Arthur laughed, once, sharp, genuine. Mordred bristled, **_what's so funny?!_**

_Welcome to your new home, Mordred. My name is Arthur Kingsman._ Arthur sighed, releasing tension as Mystery trotted up and stared intently at him. "All's well that ends well."

"You have it?"

**_Him._ **

"I got him. His name is Mordred and, _for now_ , he's gonna play _nice_." Beneath Arthur's skin, Mordred roiled and writhed with impatience.

**_I want to leave. Let me leave. Let me take us out!_ **

_Me. It's still my body. But one moment, we gotta meet up with my friends. Then you can take me out of this damn place. I hate it about as much as you, I'd warrant._ "Vi and Lew still meandering?"

"They're disappointed with the lack of supernatural activity," Mystery said.

Arthur chuckled, "too bad. _I'm_ not."

**_Who are—?_ **

_Check my memory. You'll find out all you need. But please, stay quiet._

" _I'm sure_."

"Shall we head back?" Mystery stood up and gestured with his paw back up the path.

"Lead the way."

Vivi, as Mystery said, was pouting. Lewis, less so. "I can't _believe_ that we spent so much time here for it to be a dud!"

"Well the geological structure of the cave is unique! I don't think I've seen sedimentary rock like that in this area!" Lewis was, as always, doing his best to placate a grumpy Vivi.

"But no _ghosts_!"

**_That's what they think._ **

"Don't fret, I'm _sure_ the next place will be more promising," Arthur pet Mystery, giving the group a soft and relieved smile. " _Besides_ , there's a _Waffle-House_ down the road. Let's get waffles and troll the place with their jukebox!"

Vivi and Lewis both laughed, Vivi doubling over she was so tickled. "Fair enough."

**_Jukebox?_ **

_Man, you're old._

**_I've been in a cave for longer than you've existed, boy!_ **

_And still you protest._

"Let's go! _Artie_? Take us to the van! To _Waffle-House_!"

"To _Waffle-House_!" They chorused.

Arthur gently let Mordred take over his body, the ever-present reminder of his geas humming loudly. _Don't run. Don't act unusual. Don't draw attention. I can and will take over if you try something shitty, understand?_

**_Understood._ ** Mordred tested his limbs, taking slightly crooked step after step, smiling as the exit to the cave came into view. Arthur felt Mordred pulse and ripple with excitement joy wonder. **_This is—_**

Beautiful. The night sky was a vibrant indigo with a purple ombre, dotted with pins of soft eggshell light from a million miles and a million years away. A few wispy grey clouds drifted across the crescent moon that had a rainbow corona around it. The air smelled of rotting leaves and wet dirt. Cicadas screamed and an owl let out a loud screech as it bagged its prey.

It was tranquil and vibrant. Saturated colors and soft smells and sounds. The _perfect_ type of night.

Mordred sat there, awestruck. It wasn't until Vivi and Lewis and Mystery filed into the van that Arthur finally took over and started their transportation. **_That was..._**

_I know._ Arthur adjusted the mirrors and turned the radio on. A song started playing, gently filling the car with [a crooning electronica beat](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKLWC93nvAU). _Don't try anything funny though._

Mordred didn't even dignify that with a response. He just sat deep inside of Arthur, radiating contentment.

* * *

Mordred, Arthur found out, was _very_ opinionated. Whatever kingdom he had been a part of when he had been alive—because he _continued_ to insist he had been at one point, despite Arthur's pure disbelief—had been landlocked, so Arthur's love of shellfish was unique and astounding. He also thought that some types of music were better—folk and country—than others—classical and blues. And while television and streaming services were a new thing, he had many many issues with things like _Galavant_ and _Merlin_ but adored _Great British Bake-Off_ and watched Lewis cook like it was magic.

**_I didn't have this growing up. Cooking, that is. I mean_** , Mordred faltered, sending out waves of embarrassment, **_we cooked, but not like this._**

_Gruel, I'd assume?_ Arthur sent a mental image of gruel to Mordred with internal snickers.

_**No!** _ Mordred huffed, mildly offended. ** _I mean all this luxury! You have fatty meats for cheap, milk and cheese that keeps for days, and chocolates and seafood! You eat like kings and have people who do things for your entertainment for a nominal fee. It's a veritable paradise._**

_Fair enough._ Arthur stared at the ceiling and exhaled out his nose. _What do you wanna eat, speaking of?_

**_You'd let me choose and eat?_ **

_Possibly._

**_Pizza!_ **

_A demon after my own heart!_ Mordred bristled at that. _Hm?_

**_Not a demon. Just...just a person who made a bad decision._ ** He shrank in on himself, curling into the spaces deep inside of Arthur, who felt...

Pity...

_Okay then. You wanna surprise Vi and Lew with the 'zza or do you wanna let them know?_

But Mordred didn't answer.

* * *

"I'm going to have to tell them _eventually_."

"It's still a bad idea! How do you think they'll take you hosting a previously malevolent spirit for months?" Mystery's tail smacked against the ground, eyes locked with Arthur's.

A green light overtook his pupils and Mordred grimaced, " **I keep telling him the _same_ thing. They'll just get rid of me. They wouldn't understand. It would end badly for _both_ of us!** "

The green light left. "And _I_ keeps saying that lies of omission are _worse_ than just admitting to the truth! _Goddamn_!" Arthur huffed, crossing his arms.

That first thing had also been directed at Mystery which, _fair_. But it didn't mean the kitsune had to _like_ it, even _if_ he was starting to trust Mordred. "And if they _do_ decide that it's wholecloth possession? If they _do_ decide to try and exorcise Mordred?"

Arthur's face cycled through a dozen emotions in a few seconds, half of them probably Mordred. Then he sighed, " _look_ , I get where y'all're coming from, but know this: they'll figure it out _eventually_. You can _choose_ when _or_ you can have them be mad that we didn't at all. It's up to you, Mordred."

Mordred slouched, eyes downcast. " _ **I—**_ " he inhaled sharply and met Mystery's eyes with an intense pressure, " **—I _want_ to tell them. _I do_. They _care_ for you, Arthur, and you, _them_. It's just that I don't want to intrude on your happiness. And I don't want to be the reason you lost their trust. Their...adoration.** "

"You _won't_!" Arthur protested. It was hollow.

" **And if I _do_?** "

"Then I'll _fight_ for you. You've _more_ than proven that you're trustworthy. That you're not going to attack or hurt them, even _if_ you could." Arthur gesticulated wildly, having this one-body argument. He _truly_ trusted Mordred and _that_ —

Was _terrifying_ to both of them.

Mordred, glittering behind Arthur's eyes, finally gave in. " **I'll tell them. On _my_ time, on _my_ terms. Do I have your permission?** "

(Mystery watched this with judging silence. It wasn't his place _but_ —Mordred had a point. So did Arthur, and _that_ was the issue. Because he was doing the same thing vis-a-vis him being a kitsune. Just because _one_ knew didn't mean it was enough. Didn't make it _right_.)

Arthur nodded. "You have my permission. I won't interfere, nor will I stop you, provided that you stay within the previously set geas."

" **I won't break them, Arthur. I _promise_.** " Mordred nodded. Then he slid back and Arthur leaned against the wall, shaking his head.

" _Stubborn asshole_."

" _Both_ of you," Mystery added.

" _Quiet_ , you." It wasn't mean-spirited. It never was. Not this time around.

* * *

Lewis had noticed something off with Arthur for several weeks. He just didn't know what it was until Arthur approached him. Or, rather, when the thing that wasn't Arthur approached him.

It stood there, like Arthur, gripping his left arm like Arthur had since before the cave, but different. Its eyes were off, as was its posture. And, if Lewis looked close enough, he could see that Arthur's pupils glowed a sick pastel green.

" ** _Hi_ Lewis. It's, _um_ , nice to formally meet you.**" The thing that was not Arthur said, his voice _just_ different enough that it was upsetting. " **My name is Mordred and it's time I came clean.** "

"What did you do with Arthur?" Lewis was angry, so _so_ angry, and he was seeing red. He wanted to grab this sonovabitch that had Arthur and shake him out. He wanted to kill this thing _all over again_! But he settled for verbal threats and posturing. Safer. _Safer. **Safer**._

Mordred smiled an Arthur-adjascent smile and said, " **It's more what _he_ did to _me_. But that's _beside_ the point** ," he sighed and nodded his head as if ticking things off an invisible list, " **I have _about_ ten minutes before Arthur revokes my control and he explains the rest so _please_ don't interrupt**."

Lewis eyed Mordred but said nothing. Best to let him talk, if Arthur was going go interfere anyway. Burn through this thing's time.

" **Do you know what consensual possession is?** " Lewis shook his head. " **Well it's _basically_ someone setting a beacon to spirits and then binding them with wards and geases to use them for their power. The Host, the human inviting possession, makes the rules and can revoke control at any time. _Also_** ," Mordred raised a finger to make a point, " **the Host can kick a spirit out if they break any rules, forcing them back to their place of haunting. For _me_ , it's that cave you went to.**"

" _Okay_?" _Keep talking, asshole. Keep on talking._ It wasn't resentment, but anger that kept Lewis's ears closed and his heart hard. He _hated_ this thing that had taken his friend from him. From _them_.

(From _him_.)

" **The geas he laid on me is _pretty_ simple but it worked for the situation. I can't hurt you, anyone he loves, him, or his family through action _or_ inaction. I can't murder or kill. I can't maim or destroy. At _first_ ,**" the thing that said its name was Mordred chuckled, " **I _hated_ it. I wanted to feel and pain was _feeling_ , terror was _feeling_. But...your world, this place you share with Arthur is... _nice_. _Peaceful_. And peace is hard to come by. And I started to... _care_. About _you_ and what you _thought_. You _and_ Vivi. I started to like eating your food and listening to you bicker and tease each other. And Arthur wanted to tell you everything but I was... _scared_. So I didn't want to but _he_ did, so I did anyway. He's the Host, so I _had_ to. And that's it.** "

Lewis stared at this _Mordred_ , watching every inconsistency in its movements, everything that made it _Not Arthur_. He couldn't understand why this thing was telling him this but—

" **My name is Mordred. I wanted to _kill_ you once, using Arthur's body. Now I share it with him and I want you to be _happy_ , even if it means I have to _leave_.** "

_But_ —

" _Look_ , take it how you will," Arthur said, and this was Arthur, southern twang and crooked grin and clipped, tired words. No green in his pupils. Just Arthur. "But _I_ made this choice so don't punish _him_ for it. I have control over the situation, _trust_ me. But I wanted to not lie to you. It hurts me to do so. So we _had_ to come clean."

"A _demon_? _Possession_?" Lewis's voice cracked. He knew that Mordred could probably hear him but it didn't matter. He was hurt and confused. He was so _so_ confused.

"A _spirit_. _Despite_ everything, Mordred _was_ human once." Arthur shrugged. "And I can prove he can't do anything. I have failsafes for my failsafes. Don't worry. _Trust_ me, Lew."

"But _you_ —!"

"He _didn't_."

"But _it_ —!"

" _He_ didn't," Arthur reiterated.

Lewis fell quiet. He didn't know what to say.

Arthur did, however. "Vivi is next and, whatever happens, _happens_."

" **She may _hurt_ me. She has better understanding of magic than you do** ," Mordred noted and it was _sick_ how different they were, that Lewis could tell them apart by sound, yet it took them _telling_ him for him to see it. It _hurt_ that he didn't notice. " **But that's _her_ decision. You can draw your own conclusions, Lewis. _Also_** ," Mordred smiled and it was so _human_ and _so_ Arthur-adjascent that he wanted to _scream_ , " **I'm _really_ fond of the spices you put in the chili that one time. Made Arthur cry but the burn was _so_ good. We didn't have spices like that when I was alive. It's nice to see variety exists in your world.** "

And _that_ —

That—!

_That..._

* * *

When the thing that was wearing Arthur approached Vivi, she was _ready_. She had half a dozen spell-tags on hand and her bat, magicked up and ready to go. So when it came to her, blatant and unarmed, she struck.

She slapped a paralysis tag on its head and sneered, "did you _really_ think you'd fool me? _Lewis_ noticed, and Lewis is _about_ as dense as a fruitcake, bless him. I saw _months_ ago." The thing that was wearing Arthur blinked, slowly. She could see the green shine to its pupils and it was _disgusting_. She _hated_ it. " _Where is Arthur?!_ "

" **Hello, Vivi**." The thing said, reaching up and crumpling the tag in its fist. It discarded the wad of paper and looked her in the eyes. The green there, surrounded by amber made her ill. " **Nice to _formally_ meet you.** "

"Don't make me use this!" Vivi brandished her bat at it. It didn't move, barely blinked at the threat. It seemed, for lack of a better term, _unaffected_. "I will take your damn teeth out!"

" **I _know_. So does Arthur. I just want to _talk_ though. Unarmed, no spell tags, _just_ words. I have ten minutes before he steps back in and explains for me. And Arthur will be _less_ than delicate. I at least will _afford_ you tact.** "

Vivi laughed, "Arthur's giving you time to _what_ , _explain_ yourself?! Like I'd believe _that_!"

" **Duet showed you the book, _didn't_ they? The one on consensual possession?** " Vivi stopped then, confused. The thing wearing Arthur kept its gaze level and unending. " ** _That's_ what Arthur did**." She bubbled and boiled with this new information but it continued. " **My name is Mordred and I am under geas to Arthur. So long as he is Host, I _can't_ hurt anyone, let alone _him_. So _please_ , take a moment and _listen_**."

" _Fine_. You've got _five minutes_."

Mordred smiled a strangely sad smile, " ** _actually_ , it's four, but thank you.**" It took a deep breath and exhaled. " **He thinks hiding this from you was bad. _Is_ bad. So he _made_ me tell you. I got to pick the time and so on, that much he'd give me, but I _had_ to tell you. As Host, it was his prerogative. His _desire_. But, _regardless_ , I was the thing in the cave and, if I break the rules, I'll be sent _back_ to the cave to sleep for _forever_ , injured and _alone_.** "

"So why are you still here?" She seethed and hissed, angry. Mordred smiled again, that sad smile.

" **Because I _like_ it? Arthur lets me stay here, inside of him, and lets me eat Lewis's food and watch the newest episodes of _Nailed It_ and appreciate living as _it is._ Because, _despite_ what I was, I _appreciate_ life. And this is _life_ and, while not mine, I _like_ it?** " Mordred grabbed Arthur's left arm in his right and looked away, downward, unsure. " **Because _sometimes_ the sun rises and Arthur has been unable to sleep so I get to see the pinks fade to blue, with clarity and joy. Because _sometimes_ Arthur indulges in Lewis's spicier meals and he lets me take the hit and the capsaicin is pain and _so_ good and it's _living_. Because sometimes I watch a scary film with the three of you and I _feel_. And that's _enough_ for me now**."

Vivi doesn't know _why_ this damn thing thinks it's people. Why it thinks it can have her on. Why it has Arthur so beat _but_ —!

" _Stop_." She whipped her head up and stared at Arthur. _Real_ Arthur. Not this 'Mordred' thing. _Arthur_. "I know what you're thinking and I'm telling you: _stop_. Mordred is here on my invite, on _my_ decision, by my own magic, so _back off_. Please."

He had never been so... _frustrated_ with her before. Been upset with her before. Been _angry_ with her before. But Arthur was slowly seething behind his blank façade and she could _see_ it, plain as day and light and the amber that ringed black, dusted with light yellow lashes that meant it was _him_ , not that Mordred thing.

" _But_ —!" She wanted him to understand that this was bad, for _everyone_ , for him, for _them_!

Arthur held up a hand and met her eyes. He met her eyes with a steely gaze that held ( _sadness anger joyless fear confusion worry_ ) a steely resolve. "It has been _so_ many months and he's done _nothing_ wrong. I wanted to _stop_ lying to you and he was afraid of _just_ this. So he was _right_ and I owe him an apology. But I _won't_ apologize for him. _Nor_ will I expect him to apologize for existing in me when I _invited_ him. _That's_ what consensual possession is, Vivi, and you can hate me all you like, but don't hurt _him_ for it. Don't _attack_ him for it."

"I just don't _understand_ ," she finally admitted, " _why_ you felt like you needed to do this; why take in this demon like this?"

"I let Mordred, a _spirit_ , in because if I didn't, _someone_ would have died and I can't _take_ that any more. It already keeps me awake late at night. I can't have it haunt me during the day too."

"You didn't consult us! Me and Lewis, you didn't _tell_ us! We didn't _know_!" Vivi didn't want to admit that she was scared and that this was _so big_ and it meant _so_ much that he didn't—

"I know."

"You could've _died_! You could've gotten possessed and we wouldn't've known and you would have been gone while this Mordred puppeteered your body around doing _who knows what_! And we'd only know it wasn't _you_ , not the _why_ and _how_!" She didn't mean to _whine_ but it was terrifying that—

"I _know_."

"But you _didn't_!" _There_ , the _whole_ truth. Pain and sorrow and _fear_. He _knew_ now. He knew the truth. What would he do with it?

Vivi stood there, hands balled into fists, shaking slightly. She was so tired and scared and mad and _done_. She wanted to hit him and hug him and _cry_. She wanted to kick and scream and yell. But she just stood there, shaking, wondering if that was enough. If anything she did was _enough_.

She felt Arthur wrap his arms around her, warm and thin and clammy. His heart beat a steady rhythm into her skin saying _I'm here, I won't leave, don't fear_. He muttered into her hair, " _I know._ I'm _sorry_. I'm sorry I scared you."

"I don't wanna lose _either_ of you!" Vivi didn't want to cry but _but **but—!**_

"Me n' Lewis aren't going _anywhere_. There's just one more person here." His voice, reedy but thrumming in her bones, her heart, her being. She felt safe here, in his arms. "I'm sorry..."

And she wanted—

And she—

_And_ —

* * *

Arthur watched the sky as the sun set, heart heavy and mind occupied. Inside of him, Mordred settled gently in the space between his ribs and his collar bone. "The sky always looks so nice in the middling spaces, _doesn't_ it? Dusk and dawn and so on? That's when the sky is like some sort of watercolor. It's... _nice_..."

_**Yeah.**_ Mordred, content, shifted slightly.

Suddenly, as if the thought just struck him (it didn't, but no-one needed to know that), Arthur sat up. "I know I called you a demon once, but what was your life before... _this_?"

_**This? Like, death and all?!**_ He bristled, reaching against Arthur's stomach and curling deeper inside as if to disappear. _**Why are you asking?**_

( _Because I feel guilty about doing this and I want to make amends for something you never did that I forced you into._ )

" _Curiosity_ , mostly." Mordred had access to much of Arthur's thoughts and memories but he exercised his right as Host occasionally by blocking off his deaths and pasts and what was but _wasn't_. He didn't want Mordred to...see _that_. See those _deaths_. That _pain_. It wasn't the him of now, just the past. A past that never happened. _Would never happen_.

Mordred, _this_ Mordred, was something that needed to _never_ see that past. Those pasts were for Arthur alone to bear. _Only_ for him.

_**Hm...**_ , Mordred drifted upwards and rested against Arthur's collarbone, _**well it's not a good story. Let's just say that once there was a man who was afraid of death. Much like the story you were told, about the man who sold their soul, I was given a book and within there was a rite that made me a ghost with little effort, allowing me to live forever by possessing others and taking over them. Unfortunately,**_ Mordred wriggled a bit, embarrassed, _**I decided to posess the king first and live out all my fantasies of opulence and warmth. But the royal sorcerer found out and, after a brief period of time, caught me and evicted me from my royal home. Then I body hopped from place to place for a bit.**_

A wave of _discontent hate anger unhappy_ rippled through Mordred. _**I was hollow. And empty. And angry. The only way I could feel was making other people hurt. Because that was the only thing I could make them feel and feeling was living. So I hurt and I killed and eventually the royal sorcerers trapped me in that cave and bound me. And then you came along!**_

Arthur mulled that story over for a second or two, feeling Mordred slither and sink down into his lowest gut. Then he answered, "that's rough, buddy."

_**Rough?!**_ A bristling spike of annoyance stabbed through Arthur. _ **Rough is losing your favorite item! Rough is stubbing your toe! Rough is not killing just to feel alive because pain is a strong emotion and the only one you can feel!**_

" _Look_ , I don't tell many people this but I've _been_ there." Arthur shifted in his seat, his chest clenching. "Depression feels like that, the never ending emptiness of nothing is real and only pain is feeling. And when you add in self-harming and suicidal urges, it gets to that point. Its _your_ body, sure, but the pain is _pain_ is _pain is pain_. And the pain you inflict is something you can control, the intensity, the frequency, the lasting damage..."

_**Arthur?** _

"And the _internal_ pain, the _emptiness_ is something that you _can't_ control, and it _consumes_ you. And when it's hollowed you out, your only way to feel, to _live_ , is out of your control. So you start giving yourself an outlet to control, whether simple things like rubber-banding, to complex things like burning and blades." He absently rubbed his wrists. "And then it doesn't get better because the hollowness is still there, ringing and aching, but you can influence the hunger within. But it's _never_ better. You just have to find a way to fill the hole."

_**Are...you okay?**_ Mordred asked. Arthur could feel him set tendrils into his memories, the ones risen upward, on the surface, about him and his depression and self-harm. It didn't matter, though. That was the past. _ **I know that...you have seen more and done more and are doing better but...**_

"I'm _fine_ now." It wasn't _technically_ a lie. "Days can be _bad days_ , but I've got Lewis and Vivi and Mystery and, _fuck_ man, even _you_! Between the four of you, I think I have enough stability to keep me feeling for some time. And _you_?"

_**I...**_ , this gave Mordred pause. _**I think I have you, at least. And you let me feel and that's enough. It's not just pain, nor is it just my life alone, but you let me live. And that's enough.**_

"Then I think," Arthur mused, "We'll be _fine_."

* * *

Nothing lasts forever. That is the law of the land. Eventually, everything ends.

Even peace. _Even peace._

"What do you _mean_ there's nothing you can do?!" Vivi gestured wildly, snarling at Mystery.

Mystery tucked his tail between his legs and whined, " _exactly_ what it sounds like. I didn't expect him to keep the spirit as long as he did, nor did I expect him to continue upholding his geas! It's not like I can just read his soul like a video game check system! Levels are _feelings_ , not numbers!"

"So you let him _kill himself_ like that, holding on to this _bullshit_ idea that he can help a fucking _ghost_ that would have _murdered_ us if given the chance?!" Behind her, Lewis looked at the ground, unsure, pained, conflicted.

"I told him not to, do you think me a fool?! But he wouldn't listen, not to me, not to _anyone_!" Mystery bit back.

" _Still_ —!"

"Arguing _won't_ help him!" Lewis added.

" _Nothing_ will, that's the _point_!" Vivi clutched at her hair, eyes watering as she held back angry tears. "He's killing himself and there's _nothing_ we can do! And if he dies like this, then we don't even get the resolution we want! His body just will belong to that...that... _Mordred_!"

Vivi seethed, angry at herself, at Arthur, at the world. She hated that she was unable to help him, her best friend, _her boy_ , and that there wasn't a _damn_ thing she did when it was preventable!

"Don't blame _him_! _Arthur_ decided this! That was _his_ choice, not Mordred's!" Lewis found the strength inside to speak up. It's not that he didn't _want_ to, it's just...

Arthur was—

He was—

_But_...

The three stood there, hands shaking, teeth clenched, unsure of what to do. It's not like they could give him their own life. He'd yell at them, tell them he shouldn't do that, just for him. That he wasn't worth it. He'd smile and they'd cry and it would suck so bad.

He'd take his martyr complex to the grave.

_Fuck_.

It wasn't even that they found out on accident either! Mordred had been trying _so hard_ to tell them the truth _but_...

The Host's will supersedes all else.

He was risking his place inside Arthur to save him.

It was Mystery, when Arthur was taking him on a walk, who sniffed it out. When he was confronted, he just smiled and nodded. " _I know_. And, _hell_ , if _this_ is how I go this time? Then at least I made a difference."

It was _infuriating_. Disgusting. They _hated_ it.

Bit-by-bit. For _every_ second that Arthur had hosted Mordred, he used his own lifeforce to bind and control him. And Arthur had hosted Mordred for almost _six months._

He hardly had life to spare to begin with. Now he had nothing at all.

They could only wait.

Mystery presumed that he had about fifteen days left. Unless Mordred continued to try and break his geas to Arthur to save him. Then Arthur would double down on the wards to keep him there.

The damn boy had too much love in him and not enough for himself.

"So we watch him waste away?!"

" _What else_ can we do?"

" _Anything_?!!!"

Mystery grimaced, "We can tell Lance, watch if happen, or just wait it out out of sight. We don't have much of a choice, if I'm being honest."

Vivi threw her hands up, " _Ohhhh_! We can tell _Lance_! _That_ will make everything _so_ much better!" Her sarcasm was palpable. Palpable and _really_ unnecessary. " _Hey_ there, Uncle Lance! Just calling to let you know your nephew is killing himself by playing Venom to a spirit and won't let us _help_! Figured letting you know _now_ , instead of the day he beefs it and the spirit commandeers his corpse was nicer!"

"Now _that's_ just rude!" Lewis spoke up now, done trying to placate everyone. "We don't _have_ to be rude!"

" _Rude_ is not telling us he's _killing_ himself!" Vivi retorted.

"And this is _unneeded_!" Lewis grabbed ahold of her and looked her square in the eyes. "We're hurting. _All_ of us are. You don't need to lash out at everyone just because you're hurting. It wouldn't make you feel better and it's just _shitty_!"

"But he could have _stopped_ this!" She sobbed.

"He didn't _want_ to," Lewis admitted. "And it was a long time coming."

"It doesn't _matter_! _It doesn't matter!_ _Why_ doesn't he want to—?" She couldn't—

"I don't know..."

" _Why_ does he—"

"I _don't_ know."

And they held each other. It was _all_ they could do.

Even _Mystery_ was powerless in the face of death.

* * *

**_Why wouldn't you let me tell them? Why did you keep this hidden?!_ **

_Because,_ Arthur sighed, _I wanted something new._

**_New? Death is new?!_ **

_Nah. Death is old hat. You though? You're new. You're fun. You're worth it._

**_But your friends?! You're hurting them! Making them sad! Making them worry!_ **

_It's fine. They'll live on without me. And you can live too._

**_What—?!_ **

_One of the fun little bindings I added in recently was a 'living will' of sorts. When I die, the last of me seeping into the magic keeping you bound, my body is yours. Whole-cloth. For keepsies._

**_And you didn't think—?!_ **

_It's not your choice. Nor is it theirs. This life is mine to live and mine to choose what to do with._ Something ugly darted under the surface of Arthur's smile. It... _frightened_ Mordred. _I'm giving it to you. This is my choice. Mine._

Silence filled Arthur's head for a moment. Then Mordred asked, _**what after that?**_

_Well_ , Arthur drew out the word, _I would like to think that I move on. Really? It's more likely that I start all this over again. I hope that next time is just as fun and unusual as this one was. I don't think I've ever worked so hard to make someone happy before. Not even when I got Lew and Vi together._

**_That's..._ **

_Thank you for making this time around worth being in. Really, Mordred. Live life and be happy. Go do some shit that makes it all worth it. Enjoy it this time around and maybe, when you die, it won't hurt as much. Maybe, when you die, you can be happy then too._

**_...but what of you, Arthur? Are you happy?_ **

But he didn't answer.

He wasn't there.

* * *

Arthur woke up, with a start, in a soft bed.


	16. Bonus: Plant Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Or: Arthur returns home post-Future and and and and—)
> 
> A look at forgiveness and letting go and joy and emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was what put me over my NaNoWriMo 50K mark! And this one can be considered Post-Future canon! So yay!
> 
> (Also, today is my bday. Happy Birth to me lmaooo. I am now one year older! So this is my gift to me. That and a "...you know ;)" pin. And new headphones. Mine are dead af.)
> 
> No FAQ-check for this one! Nothing stood out to me except the screams of people who felt bad for Mordred!
> 
> This one is another emotional one, though it deals more with resolution than the sort of self-sacrificing pain that was Mr. Fear. I hope this is an uplifting break from the last few hard ones.
> 
> I hope y'all's holidays go well! It's always rough this time of year, so I want to let you know that I'm here if y'all need to talk!
> 
> Enjoy!

In a world in which string theory exists, one Arthur Kingsman, in a moment of absolute and genuine peace, fulfilled his Final Wish. In this same world one Lewis Pepper, screaming internally with pain that had festered for three years, unfettered and unfounded, threw Arthur Kingsman off a cliff to his certain death as punishment for an act that had not been his choice.

In the same instance that Lewis realized his mistake too late, Arthur impacted a spike at the end of his long fall. In the same instance that Lewis screamed out Arthur's name, that Vivi screamed in fear, that Lance emptied his double-barrel into Shiromori's back, that Mystery roared in fury, Arthur exploded into a burst of violent electric light.

Lemon-lime and rotting peat tore outward in arcs of orange-yellow grapefruit _pain pain why would you not again I came to peace why would you—?!!!_

Arthur's chest swelled and a large behemoth—disproportionate arms, small legs, body covered in faces that were Arthur's in pain, choking, screaming, howling, laughing—burst forth, scrabbling for purchase on the slick cave walls. It screeched incoherently, setting off vibrant waves of _God no please I made peace why here why now would you why why why why why why—_

It stuttered, skipping a frame, faces spread like a flushed hand of cards, then singular, eye sockets wide in confusion. It glitched, body sputtering into static sparks and shrinking as it shed the excess weight upwards into— _into_ —? It jolted, a marionette with strings cut, falling forward to its knees, tears floating upward in defiance of gravity. Its bright, ethereal form snapped, like a released rubber band, into a mockery of Arthur, skull face unsure, hair made of plasma tamed to familiarity, hands bones, clothes mere tattered remains of his own.

The thing that had been Arthur but _could not be Arthur_ stood up, legs shaking. It placed skeletal hands against its face, feeling the ridges of its skull, dipping pinkies into its eye sockets and withdrawing in pain. The three buttons on its vest glowed, pulsing with the purpose of an Anchor. It looked up at the top of the cave and saw the silhouette of its friend and heard the battle going on outside. It swallowed, a reflex from a time when it was alive and needed to, and said four words, in a voice that was far too loud for a body that slight.

" **THEY NEEDS US, LEWIS**."

* * *

_In the space between space, Lewis Pepper stood, naked and confused. He looked down at his hands and frowned with a human face and human skin and human organs but he was—_

_In the space between space was **Arthur**._

_Not the Arthur that was leading him to save Vivi and Mystery and Lance from that plant woman, but the Arthur that had appeared immediately upon his death. The behemoth made of death and pain and anger and everything else._

_It fixed him with a dozen faces of agony. **YOU DID THIS TO ME! YOU KILLED ME! AGAIN! AGAIN! AGAIN!** Its head tilted and cracked at an unnatural angle and it scuttled forward with speed far greater than its size should allow. Lewis wanted to keep away but he couldn't move, here in the—_

_"I'm so **so sorry,** Artie. I was angry. It doesn't excuse what I did but—"_

**_MURDERER! YOU KILLED ME AGAIN AND AGAIN! AND YOU GET AWAY SCOT-FREE EACH TIME! UNFAIR! UNFAIR! IF I HURT IT'S MY FAULT BUT YOU, THE GOLDEN BOY, GET A FREE PASS! EVEN FROM ME!_ **

_"I don't understand?" Lewis tried to—_

_Arthur sneered, **YOU DON'T?! OF COURSE YOU DON'T! LITTLE LEWIS NEVER HAS TO FEAR DEATH AGAIN! LITTLE LEWIS DIDN'T DIE BY BETRAYAL, BUT BY DEMON! LITTLE LEWIS DIDN'T KNOW DIDN'T KNOW DIDN'T KNOW DIDN'T KNOW DIDN'T KNOW DIDN'T—**_

_Lewis wanted to yell out at—_

_Yell at—_

_**At** —?_

_In front of him was a large monster—_

_A prone body—_

_In front of him was **nothing**._

* * *

Lance Kingsman supported his nephew. That was truth. His boy—fuck the parents that abandoned him at such a soft age—was into some odd shit, _sure_ , with that Yukino gal and her love of the supernatural. And _sure_ , their friend, that Pepper kid, had gone missing a while back. And _sure_ , even if the Peppers didn't think so, Arthur believed with all of him that Lewis was still alive. But there was a line to be drawn in the sand and that line was _right fucking here_.

With his boy's van impacting the side of his shop, a spectral semi parked next to it, a demon-tree-lady trying to kill Vivi Yukino, and her damn dog now much bigger, less of a dog, and also on fire.

_There's_ the fucking line.

He's willing to put up with a lot, for Arthur's sake, just _not fucking this_!

_Still_ , he wouldn't let that damn demon thing take Vivi off at the neck-meat, so he unloaded his gun into her back, hoping it would be enough. As she turned her head around like some sort of monster from those J-horror flicks Arthur watched—the irony not lost on him in the moment—he realized it _might_ not be enough. _Especially_ when her flesh knit back together and she looked at him like he was some sort of appetizer.

"Now _see here_ , ma'am," he started, but she cut him off with a mirthless laugh.

" _Migi_ ," she yelled back to Vivi's not-dog, eyes wild, "the mortals you've found are more _interesting_ than last time! I can see why you're so _attached_!"

" _Don't touch them_!" Mystery— _yeah_ , that was the damn mutt's name—snarled. The demon laughed again and opened those fuckall shears.

"Or _what_ , Migi? They're so _fragile_ , these humans. Why wouldn't they be due for a little _pruning_?" She sneered and Mystery stepped forward.

"Or I'll—"

" **BACK OFF!** "

" **Vivi!** "

Two new voices called out, a wave of magenta fire and vibrant yellow lightning slamming into her back and sending her reeling. The lightning ripped around Lance and formed a small bubble of sorts, keeping him contained. The fire surrounded Vivi, doing the same. Lance looked over to see who had saved him and stopped, stock still. As did Mystery and Vivi. The demon-lady was the only one unaffected by their arrival, still reeling from their attack.

Two ghosts—they _had_ to be that, those spectral things floating above the ground just so, eyes pinpricks of light in hollow sockets, hands crackling with elemental energies—were _just_ behind the semi. One of them was tall and broad, its motif similar to the skulls and roses that patterned the semi, done in the same magenta that made up its hair. Its eyes were narrow and locked on the demon, small spirits flickering behind and around it. The other was tall and thin, hunched in on itself, wearing worn and tattered clothing that was familiar in a way that hurt, eyes cast to the ground, despite the yellow electricity that cast off its form in wide parabolas. It clutched at its left arm, fully made of lighting, with its right, which was a more skeletal limb. Despite them being beside one another, neither ghost seemed comfortable around the other.

Mystery was the first to speak, eyes wild, muzzle pulled into a feral snarl. "Lewis Pepper, _what have you done?!_ "

" **NOW'S _NOT_ THE TIME** ," the thin ghost answered, in lieu of the broad ghost who looked _very ashamed_ for some reason. The thin ghost's voice was... _was_ —?

( _Wait_ , did that mean the broader ghost was _Lewis_? That Pepper boy was dead? Or, rather, _undead_?! Then what had Arthur been—)

"When _will_ be the time?" Mystery asked.

" ** _AFTER_ WE'VE DEALT WITH SHIROMORI!** " Mystery bristled at the thin ghost's answer, but nodded. " **DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW TO DEAL WITH HER?** "

"If I had more of my tails, _yes_ , but it would take another hundred years for me to grow another. She took two of them long ago."

" _Wait_ ," Vivi said, conscious enough to speak and just as confused looking as Lance felt, "are you saying that _this ghost_ is the Lewis that Arthur's been looking for? His _boyfriend_?!"

The thin ghost shrank down again, its hair bristling upwards in what might have been embarrassment. Lewis looked over at the thin ghost in shock. " _ **Boyfriend?!**_ "

" **SHE DOESN'T _REMEMBER_ YOU, ASSHOLE! YOU BLEW YOUR DYING WISH ON MAKING HER _FORGET_!** " The thin ghost gestured about. Its loud voice made Lance's heart hurt but—

" **Oh, fuck.** " Before Lewis could say more, Shiromori the demon-tree-lady lashed out at him with her giant shears, eyes wild again. " _ **Oh fuck!**_ "

"Can't you stay out of my business, ghost?! I just want the fox, the rest are _yours_ if you like? _Though_ ," she sneered, "I _may_ take the blue one. She reminds me of something I hate."

The thin ghost met Lance's eyes, inextricably sad, and he could hear its voice inside his head say _**LOAD YOUR GUN. IT WON'T KILL HER, BUT IT MAY BUY SOMEONE SOME TIME. I THINK MYSTERY MAY HAVE SOMETHING.**_

Before he could question it, the thin ghost drew Shiromori's attention and ire by planting its hands on her back and sending volt after volt into her back. She shrieked and turned to that one while Lewis withdrew to recoup. " **NO ONE HERE LIKES YOU, SHIROMORI!** "

"What do _you_ know? Newly-deceased and you contain multitudes! You could be more if you let yourself _feel_ , little ghost!" She jumped at the thin ghost and it fended her off with waves of stuttering power crafted into shields. "Why side with the living? With the _mortals_?!"

Mystery, free of her gaze, moved closer to Lewis than Shiromori, his tails whipping about. He seemed to say something to Lewis. Meanwhile, Vivi grasped for her bat again, picking up the bent piece of stainless steel and shaking some greenish ichor off of its surface. She met Lance's eyes and nodded.

He didn't know what that meant, but it had to be _something_ good. He nodded back.

" **BECAUSE I _CARE_! AND YOU? MIGI DOESN'T _WANT_ YOU ANY MORE AND YET YOU _CONTINUE_ TO CHASE HIM LIKE A _JILTED LOVER_!** " That gave Shiromori pause and the thin ghost rippled like snow on a television and was gone. She turned around, looking for it.

"How _dare_ you!"

"It's _true_ though," Mystery said. "I left because I was _done_. You have to _accept_ that."

"But, see, _I'm_ not done with _you_."

" **Nah, but _we_ are.** " Lewis gave what might have been a smile if he had a lower jaw. The fire around Vivi and the lighting around Lance disappeared as the two ghosts and Mystery focused their energies on large circular construct that surrounded Shiromori.

Red, magenta, and yellow rippled around the demon-tree and she howled in fury, slamming her shears against the transparent barrier that kept her inside the boundary. Roots whipped up and writhed against the boundary. She screamed and raged. Still it held firm.

" **SHIROMORI, JUBOKKO OF THE WHITE FOREST, WE BIND YOU**." The thin ghost said, loud voice much louder in the moment. It stood tall, arms held wide as it did its magic shit.

(Lance felt _proud_ of—)

" **To soil and fertile home we bind you**." Lewis said, his fire raging as the spirits with him hummed in harmony at his side.

( _Of_ —?)

"To past, present, and future we bind you." Mystery said, his voice low and pained, his blood marking the circle they were around.

( _???_ )

" **To life and death we bind you.** "

" **TO LIGHT AND DARK WE BIND YOU**."

"To all that is we bind you."

"In fading spirit—"

" **Strength of heart—** "

" **AND DYING WISH WE BIND YOU!** "

(His heart, his chest, clenching for his—for _his_ — _for_ —?)

Shiromori screamed, louder now, and more _real_ , if that could even be quantified by voices. Before, her voice had been echoy and faint, a quality of unknown in it that was also found in Mystery and Lewis and the unknown ghost's voices as well. That was leaving, being replaced with raw emotion.

" _Please_ don't leave me! _Please_!" She sobbed.

"In regrets shared, we bind you." Mystery's tails drooped.

" **In dreams undreamt, we bind you.** " Lewis's hair was less now, wispy flickers of fire curling across his crown.

" **IN LIVES LIVED, WE BIND YOU**." The thin ghost was standing now, as opposed to the floating it had been doing before.

(Lance wanted to rush to its aid, to _scold_ it, _to_ —)

Shiromori cried harder, roots around her curling about and forming a large dome that encased her and closed in tighter and tighter. " _Please_! I _need_ you! You're home! You're _my_ home!"

"IN TIME PASSED, DEATHS SUFFERED, AND RESENTMENT FOUND, WE BIND YOU." The thin ghost was wavering again, like static in real life. If ghosts could look winded, this one did.

( _Take a break, kid, before you pass out. Before you pass out. Before you pass—_ )

" **In fears unfounded, assumptions had, and armies gathered, we bind you**." Lewis, too, looked close to passing out, his spirit friends gone.

"In lies told, secrets kept, and centuries coveted, we bind you." Mystery was panting. Whatever it is that they were doing was taking its toll on all three and Lance was unsure if it was enough.

If they were enough.

If Arthur—

Arthur?

_Arthur!_

Lance stepped forward and grabbed the thin ghost's shoulder, startling him. The ghost didn't move though, too busy channeling his energy ( _life_ , he was giving up his life as he went) to bind and seal Shiromori. _Never mind_ that there were two other people willing to help. _Never mind_ that they could be _just_ as good.

"You and your _damn_ martyr complex," he hissed, smiling. Then he turned to the circle and thought long and hard about his life, about his path to this point. About helping his family when they needed him most. "In love received and given, we bind you." A wave of exhaustion swept over him. He could hear the scared yelps of the thin ghost enter his mind.

_**WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!** _

_Helping. You don't have to do it alone, you know..._

Vivi joined in, her face grim. "In history shared, we bind you." The circle surged.

_**YOU MIGHT DIE!** _

"In wrongs committed, we bind you."

_And you **won't**?_

" **In music heard, we bind you.** "

_**THAT'S NOT THE POINT! I'M ALREADY—!** _

"In mistakes fixed, we bind you."

_But it **is** , isn't it?_

" **IN MEMORIES RECOUNTED, WE BIND YOU.** "

Shiromori was being crushed by the roots, smaller and smaller still. In addition to the red and magenta and yellow from before, dusty orange and bright cyan added to the magic that surrounded her and even someone like Lance, inexperienced as he was with supernatural hullabaloo, could tell it was stronger for it.

_Because, like **always** , you wanna just rush headlong in and not consult a **damn** person bout **nothing**!_

" **In homes found, we bind you.** "

_And you won't listen to **nobody** who cares, coz you think y'ain't worth **spit**._

"In meals prepared, we bind you."

_No matter what **everyone else says to the contrary.**_

"In miles traveled, we bind you."

_No matter what anyone else does to prove otherwise._

" **In mornings met, we bind you.** "

_Because—_

"In moments appreciated, we bind you."

_**Despite** it all—_

"In stars counted, we bind you."

_You can't see how **loved** you are, Arthur._

" **IN TRUTH AND NAME, WE BIND YOU.** "

"Shiromori, white forest, Jubokko grown on the grave of Yoshiko, nurtured by blood of Migi and innocents, we bind you here. Be at peace and to peace, _return_." Mystery finished, a surge of energy ripping through the roots that had pressed Shiromori into a small capsule.

Inside rested a single flower, pure white, untouched. They had done it. The evil was defeated.

Ears ringing, the world tilted and Lance found himself slipping fast.

* * *

_There was nothing._

_There was **Arthur**._

_Not the Arthur of now, the tired young man who gave and gave and gave until he was nothing. The young man who died early, who was dead now, who was **dead**!_

_**This** was the Arthur that came to live with Lance so many years ago. This was a small child._

_Arthur cried, long and hard. Lance couldn't move, here in—_

_Arthur cried harder. **I'M SCARED!**_

_" **I know** , kiddo."_

**_EVERYTHING HURTS! EVERYTHING I TOUCH GETS HURT! IF I'M NOT CAREFUL, I'LL HURT YOU TOO!_ **

_Lance grimaced. "Now listen here," he tried to reach out to—_

**_I'M SO SORRY! SO SCARED! SORRYSCAREDSORRYSCAREDSORRYSCAREDSORRY—_ **

_He wanted to answer—_

_To answer—_

_**Who** was that again? **Where** was he?_

_Before him stood a small—_

_Stood a hunched and guarded—_

_Was—_

_Before him was **nothing**._

* * *

Vivi saw Mystery first, to her relief. Even if that magenta ghost _was_ Arthur's Lewis, she didn't trust him. And, while she did love Uncle Lance, she wanted something from home to hold on to. She wrapped her arms around her dog—could that even hold, now that she knew he was a kitsune?—and hugged him close.

"I'm glad you're okay," he said and, sure, _that's_ a weird one, but she'd get over it.

"You and I will be having a talk later, vis-a-vis this kitsune thing." She muttered into his ear. She could feel him stiffen. Good. "Don't think I'll forget either."

A loud groan accompanied by a blue streak of swearing meant that Lance was awake too. Vivi gingerly stood up and hobbled over to him. She felt like she ran a marathon. " _Morning_ , old fart."

" _Eat shit_ , Yukino." He waved a hand at her, eliciting a giggle. "Do you feel like you went ten rounds against a wall?"

"More like a tourney against a bear, but same hat."

"Fucking millenials and their shitty slang...," he grumped, sitting up. "And _you_ _lot_?"

Lewis was sitting, cross-legged, in the air with a few of his spirit buddies. The heart above his left breast pocket pulsed stronger than when she last saw it, the golden color bright and vibrant. His hair was lit too, back in perfect coiffed shape. He nodded. " ** _Thanks_ , Uncle Lance. If it weren't for you and Vivi, we _might_ not have finished.** "

"So that bitch is gone? _Good_." Lance snorted and looked about, eyes glancing over Mystery as he searched. "And the _other_ one?"

The thin ghost waved gently from its place on the ground. " **FEEL LIKE SHIT STILL. DUNNO IF IT'LL EVER _STOP_ , BUT BEING CONFINED TO ONE FORM WILL DO THAT TO YA.**"

Lance stood up too fast and staggered. Vivi shot an arm out to stop him from falling over, but the other ghost had practically teleported to his side. " _Fucker_ ," he grumped, eyes kind and smile sad.

" ** _LOOK_ , I'M—**"

"Okay, I've been _more_ than patient," Mystery fixed Lewis with a heavy glare. Even back in smaller doggy form, he had one helluva glare. " _Spill_ , Pepper."

" _ **About?**_ " Vivi got the sense that Lewis was being purposefully obtuse.

"You damn know what _about_. Shiromori is dealt with. I want some _answers_."

" _So do I_ ," Lance said, surprising Vivi. She looked between all four of them and pouted.

"Am I the _only_ one who doesn't have a dog in this race?" No one answered her.

If ghosts could sweat, Lewis would be doing so. It only took a couple more seconds before both ghosts were clamoring over one another to speak.

" **I thought that he had—** "

" **HE DIDN'T KNOW THAT—** "

" **And the cave, right where I—** "

" ** _YOU_ KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THEN, BUT—** "

" **I felt _so bad_ about it but it was—** "

" **ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, WASN'T THE _WORST_ THING HE COULD HAVE—** "

" **And _then_ he said—** "

" **BUT WE HAD TO—** "

" _Enough_!" The force behind Mystery's yell shocked both into quiet obedience, their skulls shrinking down to rest in their collar bones. " _Just_...answer in the shortest way possible, Lewis. I'll get your side first."

Lewis raised his head up and seemed to steel himself for the oncoming storm. He refused to meet Vivi's eyes, for some reason. Lance leaned forward to listen to what Lewis had to say.

" ** _That_** ," Lewis admitted, slowly, scared, " **is my fault. I threw him off a copy of the same cliff _I_ died by. In the _same cave_ , more or less, or a _replica_ of it. So...he _died_...** "

That told no one _anything_ , but it seemed to satisfy Mystery, who nodded and turned to the other ghost. "Now you. _Explain_."

" **LEWIS DIDN'T KNOW THAT THE PERSON THAT PUSHED HIM WASN'T _ME_. HE _ALSO_ DIDN'T KNOW YOU TOOK THE DEMON OUT WITH MY ARM THAT NIGHT. SO HE GOT HIS REVENGE, KINDA SORTA. AND... _TA-DA_...** "

Lewis died in a _cave_. A cave where _Mystery_ was. Where a _cliff_ was. Where _someone_ lost an arm. _Where_ —

" _Wait_ ," Vivi said, "where's Arthur?"

The thin ghost looked as sheepish as a skeleton could. It raised a hand, the one that was made of lightning, in greeting. " ** _HI_ , VI. SORRY FOR _DYING_...** "

_Oh._

**_Oh?_ **

" _Excuse_ me?!" She was livid, marching towards Arthur's fucking ghost and preparing her bat. "You wanna run that by me _again_ , Kingsman? Coz it sure as _shit_ sounded like you said you shuffled off this mortal coil."

" **N-NOW VIVI. _PLEASE_ DON'T PUT THAT BAT AGAINST ME. I DON'T THINK I HAVE ENOUGH OF A GRASP ON BEING A GHOST YET TO REFORM IF YOU HIT ME WITH IT.** " Arthur _fucking_ Kingsman's _fucking_ ghost held his hands up in fear and placation. That was _weakness_ to a Yukino. That was _death_. Again. _Fuck_.

"And the perpetrator of this is the guy you spent _so long_ trying to find?! Don't think I'll let that go, mister. _You're next!_ "

Lewis laughed, nervous. " **Same as always, _huh_?** "

" **I'D SAY ' _THE MORE IT CHANGES_ ' AND SO ON, BUT THAT SEEMS _REDUNDANT_ AT THIS POINT...** "

"Why are you _so chummy_ with him?! He _killed_ you!"

" **IT WAS A MISUNDERSTANDING!** "

That was the _wrong_ thing to say. " _Misunderstanding_?! He _killed_ you, Artie! _Fuck_ misunderstanding!"

" _Now_ , Vivi," Lance started but she was having none of it.

"A _misunderstanding_ is ordering the Lo Mein instead of the Chow Mein. A _misunderstanding_ is picking up someone's _Starbucks_ order. A _misunderstanding_ is funny and unavoidable. This is _not_!" She was reaching the point of hysteria now, but who could blame her. Not _Arthur_ , for sure, who had _fucking died_. Not _Lance_ , who had lost his nephew. Not _Mystery_ , who was a fucking _liar_ and had _no_ say in things.

" **IT'S _OKAY_ , VI. JUST...LET HIM _SHOW_ YOU SOMETHING.** " Arthur looked back at Lewis and gestured at her with a sharp head jerk. " **YOU _GOTTA_ KNOW THAT I WOULDN'T ENDANGER YOU, _RIGHT_?** "

"She does that well enough on her own," Lance said dryly. Mystery snorted.

" ** _Look_ , I _fucked up_. But, _um_ , this might help**." And Lewis sent his heart towards her again, the large golden shape pulsing and drawing her closer and closer still.

She _wanted_ to open it, like she did back in the manor. Back before Arthur dragged her away. Before _Arthur_ —

She stared at him, eyes wide and full of fear. He nodded, subtly, and she reached out to Lewis's heart. It opened and inside—

* * *

_Inside this strange darkness was **Arthur**._

_Not the Arthur of **now** , dead but comfortable around everyone, joking and laughing like it was all normal. No, this was the Arthur she had seen in the hospital, **right** after the accident involving Lewis and Mystery and his arm._

_This Arthur was hollow, dressed in hospital scrubs, an empty sleeve on his left side. His eyes were ringed with purple-green gradient rings and his cheeks were sunken in and ragged. His hair was greasy and his skin pale and sweating. She wanted to hold him but she couldn't move, here inside of—_

**_NOTHING I DO WILL EVER MATTER, WILL IT? WE'RE ALL DESTINED TO DIE ANYWAY, SO WHY BOTHER TRYING? WHY STAY ALIVE IF DEATH COMES IN THE END, VIVI?_ **

_She didn't have an immediate answer for him, caught wholly off-guard with him even being here, inside—_

_Arthur continued, **BUT I'M ALREADY THERE, SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR ME? FOR YOU? TWO OUT OF THREE IS MONTY HALL, VI. YOU CAN'T AVOID IT FOREVER.**_

_"I can damn well **try**." She grimaced at him, kicking about—_

**_BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER, DOES IT? NOTHING MATTERS. NOTHING EVER MATTERS. NOTHING I'M THIS WORLD EVER MATTERS. NOTHING YOU DO WILL EVER MATTER. NOTHING YOU WILL EVER DO WILL MATTER. NOTHING MATTERS._ **

_She wanted to hit—_

_To smack sense into—_

_**To** —?_

_Inside this strange darkness was a man—_

_Was a hollow shell—_

_Inside was—_

_And—_

_Inside there was **darkness**._

* * *

Mystery _understood_ what was going on, but it didn't mean he had to _like_ it. He _never_ would, even if it became the normal of their group.

A kitsune, two ghosts, and a human walk into a bar. The bartender has dusted the window sills with salt. He keeps a gun under the cashwrap. It isn't a joke any more. It never _was_ , really, just the setup for something tragic.

Arthur _was_ —

_That_ was the hardest part. He could handle _Lewis_. He _knew_ Lewis was gone; had since the cave. There was no way he could have survived that fall and Vivi forgetting him was all the proof he needed. That kind of memory loss, without trauma and distress, was only available through a Dying Wish.

Lewis had died in that cave. _Fact_.

The manor had only reinforced that knowledge and, while he _could_ have convinced Vivi to sit down and examine Lewis's Anchor, he _didn't_ because he saw the hatred that Lewis had for Arthur and _that_ was dangerous. So they ran and then _Shiromori_ and—

Looks like Lewis got what he wanted, in the end. And, if that wasn't insulting enough, _Arthur_ came back as a ghost, no Dying Wish as far as Mystery could tell, and helped them end Shiromori.

Shiromori who grew upward on a small knoll, petals searching for the sun that had set a while ago, leaves small and trembling in the autumn breeze. Mystery felt a small sense of duty to this plant, this child, this reminder of his last failures.

But then again, he was _surrounded_ by them. The ghost of one of his kits that he failed to save three years ago, the ghost of one of his kits that he failed to protect from anger that was unjust, the flower that had started so many years of lying and running, and the body that held the soul of the woman that freed him from his prison so many centuries ago. Two deaths, wholly preventable, one life, undone and unmade, and one life, stolen and sharing space with something foreign. _All his fault_.

As Vivi regained her memories, sitting gently in Lewis's lap, Lance confronted Arthur, who continued to try and curl in on himself. He seemed unsure of his own skills as a ghost which, considering his recent death, was a fair assumption.

But he _had_ known who Shiromori was and who _Migi_ was. He had known _how_ to bind her and _what_ to give. He had given _long_ after Lewis had started to falter.

What _was_ this Arthur? Was this even _really_ Arthur?

What _happened_ in that cave?

" **I _KNOW_ , IT'S _REALLY_ SHITTY OF ME TO NOT SAY ANYTHING BUT, CAN YOU _BLAME_ ME? WE WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT WITH A _DEMON_! I THINK I'M ALLOWED SECRETS THEN.** "

Lance sternly shook his head, " _Kid_ , you'd forget to tell me your arm had gotten ripped off if it weren't for the fact that it was so damn _obvious_. Don't _fucking_ test me."

Arthur flickered with waves of _shit fuck whoops oh jeeze yeah_ and bobbed a bit. " ** _FAIR ENOUGH_. THOUGH I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN CONTINUE WORKING AT _KINGSMAN'S_ LIKE THIS. MOST PEOPLE IN TEMPO KNOW I'M NOT THE GOTH TYPE AND, IF I COME BACK AND MANAGE TO LEARN HOW TO CONSTRUCT MY FACE AND SO ON, I _DON'T_ THINK I CAN CHANGE MY CLOTHES TOO. THIS SHIT'S _IT_ FOR ME**." He gestured to his tattered clothes, the large hole in his spine visible though his shirt and vest. It was then that Mystery noticed his Anchors.

_Three_ of them. That was unusual enough but each one glowed a different way _and_ —

Two of the three were dimmer than the rest. The third still glowed with the strength and power of a healthy ghost.

Arthur seemed to notice that Mystery was staring and stopped talking to Lance, his body rolling like a TV settling on one channel. " _ **YEAH?**_ "

"Can I talk to you, in private?" Mystery ignored the look that Lance gave him as well as the loud sobbing of Vivi waking up and clutching on to Lewis.

" _Can I talk to you in private?_ " Lance, a grown-ass adult mocked him.

" **UM... _SURE_...I GUESS...** " Arthur looked apprehensive, eye lights darting from side to side. " **I'LL CATCH UP. JUST GET A HEAD START, _YEAH_?** "

Mystery nodded and bounded off, filling out without fear of Shiromori tracking him, until he came to a rest in a small patch of flowers. Then he waited. The off-putting smell of bright orange and ozone preceded Arthur's appearance, but he arrived nonetheless. Like turning on a CRT monitor, Arthur blipped into form next to Mystery and looked nervously at him.

" **SO...I'M _PRETTY_ SURE I KNOW _WHY_ YOU WANNA TALK TO ME, BUT _SHOOT_.** "

"What _are_ you?" There really was no dancing around this. It was pointless to. _Both of them_ knew it.

" **DEAD? I'M A _GHOST_ , MYSTERY.**" If Arthur was feeling any pressure, he didn't show it.

"You _know_ what I mean. You knew who Shiromori was without me telling you. You knew the name Migi, which _no one else_ did. You have the control and strength of a ghost that's been around for _decades_ but you've only been dead for a _few hours_. You knew how to do that ritual. _Also_ ," Mystery added, eyeing Arthur the whole time, "you're _very_ calm for someone who died in a traumatic enough fashion to make a ghost."

Silence, not oppressive, but blanketing. Neither of them moved, but lighting crackled across Arthur's skin and Mystery's tails twitched. Then Arthur smiled and it was sad. _Lonely_. Caught red-handed.

" **YOU GOT ME**." He laughed, once. " **FIGURES. YOU _ALWAYS_ KNEW WHEN SHIT WAS WRONG.** " A deep breath, unneeded but calming. Mystery watched Arthur pull his legs beneath him and sit mid-air. Then he gently floated back to rest on the ground. " **I SUPPOSE, FROM _YOUR_ PROSPECTIVE, I'VE _ONLY_ BEEN DEAD FOR A FEW HOURS. FOR _ME_ IT'S BEEN CLOSER TO FIFTY OR SO YEARS.** "

" _What_?" This made Mystery pull back, confused and worried.

" **THE FALL KILLED ME AND I WISHED TO _FIX EVERYTHING_. MAKE EVERYTHING _BETTER_. SO MY WISH THREW ME FROM ONE VERSION OF ME TO ANOTHER. I TRIED TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE WAS HAPPY. _THEN_ I KINDA...,** " he waved his hand in a roundabout manner, " ** _LOST_ IT. IN THE END, I BECAME SOMETHING _TERRIBLE_ , AND THE VIVI AND LEWIS AND YOU OF THAT TIMELINE HAD _ENOUGH_. THEY PUT ME TO REST AND...I WOKE UP _HERE_ , A GHOST IN MY OWN TIME, UNSURE OF WHAT TO DO.**"

He took a moment to stare at the sky, watching clouds pass through the dark blue above. " **AND I _THINK_ MY JOB HERE, IN MY OWN TIME, IN MY OWN... _BODY_ IS TO...SAY MY FAREWELLS. I DON'T THINK I HAVE THE _ENERGY_ TO REMAIN HERE FOR MUCH LONGER**." He tapped his chest, indicating the three pins on his vest. The star pin was glowing bright, thrumming to the beat his heart would have kept, but the round one was dull and unmoving and the skull was dulling and slowing. " **ALREADY GAVE UP MY FEELINGS TOWARDS LEWIS AND VIVI AND LANCE. _PROBABLY_ NEED TO MAKE SURE I'M FINE WITH YOU AND THEN JUST... _GHOST_?** " Arthur made a ' _shitty pun_ ' face and Mystery grimaced in response.

" **MAYBE I WAS _MEANT_ TO MAKE AMENDS? OR JUST TO LET GO? I'M _DONE_ HOLDING ON TO PAIN AND FEAR SO I THINK THAT'S ALL I _CAN_ DO, _RIGHT_?** " He met Mystery's eyes, sad and empty. At peace. There was _no fear_ there.

"And _not_ tell them? Disappear when they _just_ got each other back? Let them think you left for other reasons? How is this not _as selfish_ as sticking around?!" He didn't _mean_ to snap but—

Arthur smiled. It was sad and hollow. " ** _FAIR_. I JUST...DON'T KNOW WHICH WILL HURT _MORE_ : LEAVING WITHOUT A WORD OR LETTING THEM KNOW I'M GOING OUT? AND IF I _DO_ LET THEM KNOW, WHAT'S TO STOP THEM FROM TRYING TO ' _SAVE_ ' ME?**" His face pinched. " **I DON'T _WANT_ THAT. I DON'T _NEED_ THAT. I'M _DONE_ AND THEY NEED TO _LET GO_. _I_ NEED TO LET GO.** "

" _I_ —" Mystery choked back his immediate reaction, pulling back to think about his words. Then he started again, "I'll make sure your wishes are honored." He fell into silence before he continued. "Almost _fifty years_?"

" _ **I—**_ " Arthur's face contorted weirdly, then he smiled, " **I DON'T THINK I _EVER_ GAVE YOU THE FULL STORY. _ABRIDGED_ , MAYBE, BUT...**" He gave pause, tapping his fingers together. " **I DON'T THINK IT _MATTERS_ NOW. TELLING YOU WOULDN'T REALLY _DO_ ANYTHING FOR _ANYONE_. JUST MAKE US SAD.** "

" _That's fair_."

They fell into silence again. Arthur tapped his Anchors, " **I...THINK I _MAY_ HAVE LET THEM KNOW...SOMEHOW...THAT I WAS _LEAVING_? THOSE EMOTIONS I GAVE THEM...THEY'RE MOST STRONGLY TIED TO EACH OF THEM. AM I RECONCILING BY GIVING THEM UP? AM I... _BROKEN_ IN THAT WAY?** "

"There's no... _right_ way to grieve. Nor is there a right way to _heal_ either." He didn't know if he was doing it right. _Comforting_. Being _good_ for him. It was... _hard_. Mystery didn't know how to feel about _any_ of this. "I don't think you're _wrong_ though..."

" **SHOULD I JUST GO? _LEAVE_? LET THEM HAVE THEIR MOMENT?** "

" _Fuck no_ ," Mystery laughed, a rough bark of surprise. "Say goodbye. Wrap up your story. Give it an end."

" **WHAT DID WE _EVER_ DO TO DESERVE YOU?** " Arthur smiled gently at him, even without a jaw.

"You existed."

" **... _DAMN_...WE HIT THE FUCKING LOTTERY.** "

* * *

Arthur could feel the beat of his Anchors slowing, the skull pin almost dimmed, the star pin dimming some. It was... _scary_ to think he was done. That this was his journey's end. That this was _it_.

He was _ready_ but—

He was worried _they_ weren't.

Vivi and Lewis were laughing, jostling into one another and making small jokes they _couldn't_ over the last three years. Lance, eyes closed, was leaning against _Kingsman's_ , Gallahad curled up in his lap with a mouthful of bolts. Mystery padded in after him as Arthur himself returned to the scene of the crime, downcast.

" _ **Art!**_ " Lewis perked up, his hair poofing slightly, accompanied by the smell of toasted marshmallows. " **You're _back_!** "

" **YEAH...** ," he rubbed his arm, a habit, it seemed, he'd _never_ be rid of, " **NOT FOR LONG THOUGH... _SORRY_...** "

To his surprise, no one seemed upset or confused by this. In fact, Lance, Vivi, and Lewis just smiled at him, eyes soft and welcoming. " ** _Fuck_ , so soon?**"

"I _just_ got my boys back!" Vivi complained. " _Un_. **_Fair_**."

" **YOU...AREN'T _UPSET_?** " He didn't know how to react, though he could feel Mystery's smug grin burn into the back of his kneecaps.

"I _think_...," Vivi said, thinking about each word before finishing it, "that I _already_ kinda knew? Like...when I was remembering Lew, I was...in this _place_ and... _you_ just..." She shrugged, unsure of how to finish that statement.

" **When I left the cave with you I saw that _thing_ you were for a moment after dying and...I _think_ that was what gave me the peace of mind to not worry. _Besides_ ,**" Lewis gave Arthur a half-smile, " **I can hear your Anchor slowing. I _know_ what that means.** "

Lance heaved himself up, Gallahad zipping away with a grumpy chitter, "I figured, with _your_ track record so far, if you were _staying_ , you would find _some_ way to make it tragic." Tears glittered in his eyes but he was smiling and it was sincere and loving. "Leaving is, _by far_ , the _best_ option my brain thought of."

" **YOU GUYS...** " He was overwhelmed with a warmth that he didn't know how to deal with. It was—

_Was_ —

**_Was—!_ **

" **Now _c'mon_ , nerd, let's get your van in working order one last time!**" Lewis slapped him on the back, wincing at the arcs of energy that traveled up his arm.

" _Our_ van, asshole," Vivi corrected. Lewis sighed, mock-weary.

"Lemme grab refreshments for those who need it and my kit. Don't break shit while I'm gone," Lance ordered. He dipped back into _Kingsman's_ , hiding his smile.

"Do you need me in any particular form or is this okay?" Mystery gestured to his normal kitsune self with a paw.

" **YOU'RE GOOD.** " Arthur nodded. Then he reached out to the radio and turned it on with an errant wisp of power. [A soft piano waltz](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ads2CKwKgjc) played, vocals joining in with an upbeat drum. As Lewis's Deadbeats joined in with the chorus, Arthur felt warm.

At home.

_Loved_.

And when his time came, final Anchor dimming to dull metal, he went gently into that good night. Unburdened. At peace.

And it was _nice_.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a Tumblr post by pi-cat000 found here: [link](http://pi-cat000.tumblr.com/post/179145450287/msa-time-travel-idea-part-1)


End file.
